Tried to add this comment on the post date date page but commenting is closed

Obviously I'm not going to speak for Kev as he's made his own choices.

 

However you admit you enjoy his pain - you just changed the reason why you enjoy it. Yes you support him through his other emotions and that's great. However no-one outside of a BDSM relationship, should be deliberately causing their partner pain.

 

"That is a man who worships me endlessly, who knows his place beneath me, and who thrives on the pain of his own inadequacies (real or perceived). That pain doesn’t push him away—it binds him to me even more, making him crave my affection, my attention, my mercy."

 

You equate pain with intimacy and vulnerability. I equate pain with pain. I can be intimate and vulnerable with a partner without her deliberately hurting me. I've felt emotional and vulnerable with my partners before but they didn't have do go and deliberately harm me to do so. They didn't have to remind me that I'm inferior, that nothing I want matters because only their desires matter. They didn't have to get their pleasures elsewhere and then rub it in my face when they returned (literally in some of the examples of your abominable post date dates.

 

"Other times, I want to tease and torment, to make him kneel and serve, to turn the loving knife of psychology just a little deeper as I remind him of all the ways he does not measure up. And when he trembles, when he looks up at me with that mix of pain and awe, I feel so powerful, so beautiful—it’s as if the whole world tilts and I become the sun he orbits. That fear of losing me makes him more attentive, more devoted, more desperate to earn whatever scrap of affection I choose to give him."

 

You say it's not about you breaking him but it's about opening him up. How do you think you're opening him up? You're breaking him to open him up. You say that you're thriving on the pain of his cage.

 

How exactly is a man meant to feel needed when he's expected to let you get your rocks off with some other man while he stays at home and his pleasure doesn't matter? How is a man expected to feel needed when you come home from your sexual escapade and expecting your man to clean you up, with his tongue? How is that making him feel desired when you come home and expect him to wait on you hand and foot?

 

Apart from some vague stuff about Kev enjoying it (which is fine because some men do enjoy it and that's their choice) please give precise examples of positive things men get out of your style of FLR? He doesn't get increased pleasure as women's pleasure is all that matters, he gets increased pain, both physical and emotional. He doesn't get acknowledged, as although you say women may listen to him in pillow talk, this is done so women can enjoy listening to their men's pain and revel in it, not through any actual love and care for the man. After all being in this style of FLR isn't about a man getting love and care, it's only about the woman getting love and care.

 

If we look at the "mildest" of your ideas 1 by 1 we see how ridiculous the lie is that men's needs are in any way valued:

 

1. Cuddling and Storytelling – The wife shares details of her evening while cuddling with her husband, creating intimacy and reinforcing trust. - The woman rubs her man's face in the fact she slept with someone else, telling him how good the other guy was, how many times she came. How exactly does this create intimacy and reinforce the man's trust? He gets nothing out of this at all except humiliation and emotional pain.
2. A Loving Bath Together – The husband draws a warm bath, pampering his wife and helping her unwind. - This seems to be the least damaging option, although it'll be obvious that he's expected to remove the other man's sweat, cum etc off her body. I note she gets pampered while he gets nothing. No comfort, no helping him unwind after an evening spent alone probably doing chores.
3. Dinner & Debrief – Preparing a meal together while discussing the highlights of the evening in a relaxed, loving way. Wow she's actually doing something around the house??? I thought all housework, cooking and chores are to be done by her maid and sex slave when he's not out working that it. That aside, the woman rubs her man's face in the fact she slept with someone else, telling him how good the other guy was, how many times she came. How exactly does this create intimacy and reinforce the man's trust? He gets nothing out of this at all except humiliation and emotional pain.
4. Sweet Pillow Talk – Laying in bed and whispering about the experience, reinforcing emotional connection. -The woman rubs her man's face in the fact she slept with someone else, telling him how good the other guy was, how many times she came. How exactly does this create intimacy and reinforce the man's trust? He gets nothing out of this at all except humiliation and emotional pain.
5. Holding & Affirmation – The husband holds his wife, receiving words of love and gratitude for his role in their dynamic. - She thanks him for letting her do what she likes while getting nothing in return. "Thanks for surrendering and agreeing to no pleasure for you while you make me cum every time. Thanks for agreeing to do all the housework and chores while I do nothing except let you wait on me hand and foot. Thanks for agreeing to let me do what I want while you get nothing. Thanks for signing over all the marital assets to me so I'm rich and you're penniless. Thanks for allowing me to humiliate and degrade you every day. Thanks for letting me f**k anyone I want while you're locked in a cage at home."

And these are the "mildest" ones??????????? The others are increasingly cruel, humiliating and degrading.

 

You say it's not about diminishing men and I agree as the word diminishing doesn't go far enough. It's about breaking them, humiliating them, getting revenge on them for sins their fathers committed on women going back 3000 years. It's about showing them every day that their feelings are irrelevant and only yours matter. It's reminding them every day that only women matter, men are useless and inferior and they don't deserve pleasure, only pain.

 

I really thought I'd stumbled across something new that I could look into and maybe try. I'm naturally on the sub scale and so FLR interested me. Now I realise this is all a con and it's just a way to cause men pain and convince them that they want it while women sit back and are either indifferent (since men's emotions, pleasure and needs are irrelevant in FLR) or to laugh at the pain, to revel in the fact you've broken another human being and reduced them to a mindless sex slave who cares nothing for their own wellbeing.

 

I'm sorry but I stand by my earlier thought that this form of FLR is suitable only for sociopaths and psychopaths that enjoy inflicting pain on others in the name of their own gratification. I enjoy Warhammer 40K and one of the evil gods in that setting is called Slaanesh, the god of excess. I never expected to encounter their worshippers in real life and yet here we are.