I really enjoyed reading about your experience together. Link for those who might have missed it. What you describe is a sincere partnership that is based on love, not lust. The two of your have a connection deeper than most and have taken steps to explore it together. Your communication seems wonderful and you both seem to be doing well after your experience together. I'd love to hear some of the follow-up conversations that you've had since your experience together.

Your excitement is contagious, I've been feeling down in the dumps since recovering from my surgery and subsequent infection and partial relapse. It is a whole mess but your energy is really boosting my spirits and reminding me why I started this site in the first place. Keep learning and don't ever lose that energy. I for one, really enjoy it!

As a man in the marriage with a woman, I can give my perspective on why I want to see her with another man, multiple other man too, to be honest. 

First there is indeed the part of compersion, and this is a genuine and big part of it. But like most things there are more variables at play. Although my own penis is not small, and my stamina is ok too, I do realise she could experience better sex with another man, that is slightly bigger (not too big mind you, that could just be painful, and for some reason it feels great if another man has a bigger penis than me, it makes him more manly in some way), and especially has a better stamina, someone that can really continue for a long time. Also I have a very strong refractory period. My lust, to even cuddle, is immediately gone after orgasm, and this lasts at least 20 minutes. This in fact frustrates me a lot. Especially when I suspect, my wife did not come to an orgasm. Something I do wish she would have one at least, or multiple. Not that she never orgasms with me, but I feel she could get better, enjoy sex more. We did have some threesomes in the past, and it was heaven for her, when one of the man finished, the other could continue. This showed me, she has a way higher stamina than me, she could go on for 4 turns, non stop. All this also plays in with the compersion. Knowing her feelings of real sexual satisfaction, if we're honest, cannot be given by me, maybe not even by just one man, no matter how high his stamina is. If another man, or men, would be giving that to her, I also would experience (and experienced that during the threesomes in the past), a kind of weight falling of my shoulders. Making sure she is really sexually satisfied is not my responsibility. Of course she also has her own responsibility in this regard, but if she only has me, with my strong refractory period, she is hitting a wall. Having anther man/men actually giving her that opportunity, not only strengthens the compersion, but also lifts this weight of my shoulders.

A second aspect, is that my wife used to have a very high libido, as well as stamina. When we got together, she also had dates with women, and short romances, always also sexual. She would only go into a relationship with me, if I accepted this aspect of her, her bisexuality. I of course did. I loved her, and I realised, I cannot give her, what women can give her. And don't get me wrong here, I was not expecting a trio with two women for example. Of course I secretly fantasized about it, which man wouldn't? But it never came to that. Those women she was dating, were a parallel path, I was never involved. But I was happy for her, and she felt free and thankful for letting her have that freedom. I already realised back then, that just me, wasn't enough for her libido.

A third aspect, is that after we got children. We got very busy with work and life, and basically both our sexual feelings dropped severely due to pure exhaustion. Which is understandable with young children, waking up at night etc. Time moved on, and we are more rested now. Giving rise to two outcomes. Sort of starting up our sexual relation again, not necessarily between us 2, but as a part of life that is healthy for a couple, and I would be happy enough already, if she would get active again with another woman on the side, or another man, even if my own sexual life would be confined to knowing about it, but knowing she is more happy again by regaining that facet of her after hard years (so a part of compersion), but also of course some hope my own sex life gets more active again too (in whichever form), one has to be honest about that too. The other outcome, I want my wife to feel more self confident again, about herself, about her body. Pregnancy, hard years of work and children, just change one's body a bit (a few extra kilos, almost no time for sports). Even though we have both lost some weight and started sports again, it is not at the level, when we were younger and had no children. And this has the effect on my wife, that she is more insecure about her body. Lately she went out, while I stayed at home with the kids, and she got flirted with by younger men, on two separate occasions that night. She proudly told me about it. She hadn't acted on the flirting because her sister was there as well, and her sister would not have understood it. But the way she glowed, as she told me about it, and told me her fantasies, had her sister not been there, were just wonderful to see! Her confidence was clearly up a bit again. I really wish more of that for my wife. 

Another aspect is that I do really hate this refractory period effect, and I really love this feeling of general arousal. If I am not allowed to cum, I stay in that aroused state, a state I really enjoy. Also the feeling of my own penis leaking precum, and knowing I will not be allowed to eventually cum, creates a weird combination of enjoyment, arousal, jealousy (seeing the other man/men do get orgasms), and frustration, which is a very strong combined sensation. 

A fifth aspect, is that I am, like my wife, a bit bi-sexual or at least curious, also. To the point that I find a penis very arousing, and I fantasise about playing with one with hands and/or mouth. Also the idea of cleaning my wife, after a lover came, is highly arousing to me. Of course, I will not be allowed to cum. And the lover(s) of course do. This discrepancy, of the other man/men being allowed orgasms, while I am not, is very arousing. An additional kink maybe is that I just love giving oral, to my wife, but (still a fantasy) also to a man. A fantasy I have, is that my wife and a lover have a long multiple course dinner, and my place is under the table, servicing both of them orally, alternating between their orgasms. I could imagine myself giving only oral, for a whole evening, without being able to orgasm myself. And being ignored actually completely by both my wife and the lover, except for having to perform the oral, alternating, as long as they want, or with breaks in between. So there is a submissive aspect here as well, while the real intimacy, the romance, the talking, and after dinner of course the sex, is between my wife and the lover. I would love to grant my wife to experience those two parallel situations, above and under the table, simultaneously. 

Then there is indeed, also the giving aspect. It feels great to give someone a present, especially to my wife. By giving my wife to another man, he gets a present, my wife, and she gets a present, to experience another man. There is a good feeling to that. Also holding or kissing my wife, as I give access to her, or help the penis find entrance in her, or while she is being pounded by another (better) man. Letting her have better sex, while guaranteeing I still love her, love her more even maybe. Also of course for her the opportunity to experience different men, different sexual activities, the different ways men can give her pleasure. Combined here, is also being proud of my wife. How lovely, how sexual she is. And another man getting aroused by her, wanting her, is of course a confirmation, that my wife is beautiful, lovely and sexually attractive. 

Those are the aspects that come to mind, for me, why I love to see her with another man.