I've never been an overly extroverted person, in fact I really have to make an effort to be outgoing in social situations. Relationships are much of the same. When Kevin and I first started dating, I made a bit more of an effort. I dressed up for him, I was a bit more flirty in public and in private. I hate to say that I take him for granted now but I know he will be there and the extra effort to be outgoing isn't quite as strong. Another thing I noticed with being flirty and outgoing is the pressure to have sex. If I am being extra flirty, maybe it is just that - maybe I am just being flirty because that is what I feel like doing at that very moment. Even when it comes to the bedroom, if I dress in something sexy maybe it is because I want the attention on my body not because I want to get him all riled up and ready for sex. Use teasing as a way to start getting rid of your sex calendar and focus on enjoying sex, not rationing it.
In recent months, a simple cheap Chinese plastic cage has allowed me to get back into some of the sexy play that I really enjoy. He knows that he must earn his way out of it and he knows that I am in control no matter how things play out. I've really started to enjoy dressing up in sexy clothes, teasing him. For example last week I lit some candles in the bedroom, invited him up to find me in a gorgeous teddy that I got from Fredrick's of Hollywood about five years ago. I thoroughly enjoyed doing a sexy striptease and grinding up against him with absolutely zero expectations afterwards. He commented that it felt like a strip club since we was locked and couldn't have me, all he felt was pressure from his cage and arousal. Sexy stripteases like this rarely end with sex for us. It usually ends with me getting a fantastic, mind-blowing massage as his sexual energy is redirected back to me. His attention makes me feel so sexy and does way more for me than a few minutes of pelvic thrusting.
I've mentioned in previous blogs that I do have a healthy sexual appetite and we have sex a few times a week but he typically isn't allowed to have an orgasm when we have sex. I do sometimes allow him to masturbate after sex but I do so enjoy the look on his face when we lock him back up without allowing those balls to empty. He sometimes gets frustrated or tries bargaining with me so I entertained his deal one day. "If you let me cum now, you can lock me up for ten days" he said. I laughed and said make that 30 and you've got a deal. He came back and said two weeks. I laughed and accepted his two week deal. He was really regretting that decision towards the end of the two weeks and I didn't let him out a minute early.
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Love it. This is such a critical part of the chastity dynamic, and I see two type of teasing. Flirting and insulting. Flirting is for me is a dick tease, which builds my mojo up. It can be a simple hug where her hips push into my cage or something more explicit and direct. It doesn’t take much. I take in her desire for me with no outlet and it magnifies by ten with laser focus on her. This is the part of the emotional roller coaster that makes it so hot.
Teasing can also be insulting or humiliating words, which is not part of our play, because I find it hurtful and cruel. From other blogs some men really get off on this. I accept others for who they are and the desires they have, but this type of teasing in chastity play for me is counter productive to our joint goal of building intimacy.
From my point of view, teasing is the very basis of the game of chastity.
Without it, even if our man’s interest is focused on us, it is not as intense as when a certain closeness, or even sexual tension (not necessarily leading to a sexual act) comes into play.
It is also necessary to be imaginative and multiply the different teasing games in order not to fall into a certain routine.
Personally I am particularly fond of sex with strapon and chastity cage in place.
Totally agree. Thank you for reiterating that. Tease and denial is necessary.
In that I am completely chaste but not by virtue of a cage (usually), my Wife is also very fond of strapon sex as a suitable replacement for the penetration she wants. We have two ways of accomplishing this. One is a hollow strapon, which is rather large circumference wise. The other is a cock sleeve over the application of our favorite desensitizing spray that works rather well for her 2 desired outcomes …. denial of my orgasm because I can’t feel a thing, and the good, long hard fucking she requires without having to stop and start because I’m close to cumming.
As I explore this marvelous site, I am no longer surprised at the nuggets of gold, the pearls of wisdom I come across. This entry is no exception. This particular pearl is spot on:
“A locked guy is constantly reminded of his penis because he has a piece of metal or plastic hanging from it. Very few men want to be locked and ignored. The heightened level of arousal is attained by arousal and play followed by your prevention of his orgasm. ”
When tease and deny evolves into ignore and deny … problems ensue.
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Being teased is amazing for all of the reasons you mention. Deliciously cruel.
Love it. This is such a critical part of the chastity dynamic, and I see two type of teasing. Flirting and insulting. Flirting is for me is a dick tease, which builds my mojo up. It can be a simple hug where her hips push into my cage or something more explicit and direct. It doesn’t take much. I take in her desire for me with no outlet and it magnifies by ten with laser focus on her. This is the part of the emotional roller coaster that makes it so hot.
Teasing can also be insulting or humiliating words, which is not part of our play, because I find it hurtful and cruel. From other blogs some men really get off on this. I accept others for who they are and the desires they have, but this type of teasing in chastity play for me is counter productive to our joint goal of building intimacy.
From my point of view, teasing is the very basis of the game of chastity.
Without it, even if our man’s interest is focused on us, it is not as intense as when a certain closeness, or even sexual tension (not necessarily leading to a sexual act) comes into play.
It is also necessary to be imaginative and multiply the different teasing games in order not to fall into a certain routine.
Personally I am particularly fond of sex with strapon and chastity cage in place.
Totally agree. Thank you for reiterating that. Tease and denial is necessary.
In that I am completely chaste but not by virtue of a cage (usually), my Wife is also very fond of strapon sex as a suitable replacement for the penetration she wants. We have two ways of accomplishing this. One is a hollow strapon, which is rather large circumference wise. The other is a cock sleeve over the application of our favorite desensitizing spray that works rather well for her 2 desired outcomes …. denial of my orgasm because I can’t feel a thing, and the good, long hard fucking she requires without having to stop and start because I’m close to cumming.
As I explore this marvelous site, I am no longer surprised at the nuggets of gold, the pearls of wisdom I come across. This entry is no exception. This particular pearl is spot on:
“A locked guy is constantly reminded of his penis because he has a piece of metal or plastic hanging from it. Very few men want to be locked and ignored. The heightened level of arousal is attained by arousal and play followed by your prevention of his orgasm. ”
When tease and deny evolves into ignore and deny … problems ensue.
Thank you Emma for another wonderful post.
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