Humiliation is a varied thing amongst men. Some guys really enjoy it. Some guys like it in small, teasing doses. Some guys crave it when locked up as an assertion of their submissiveness in the relationship. Depending on your guy it can be great fun or it can be offensive and hurtful. We should start by determining the differences between humiliation and embarrassment. Embarrassment is brought upon by ourselves, humiliation is brought upon by others. To humiliate someone is to exert power over them and that is likely when I enjoy doing it in small doses.
My ex-boyfriend had a smaller than average penis and he wanted to constantly be reminded about his size. I of course indulged his fantasy and would refer to it as “tiny” or “acorn” or other not-so-nice things. He did go to a therapist at one point, not specifically about his penis but it did come up. The therapist told him that he was eroticizing what had a been a very negative feeling for him. His mind made his small penis erotic to him as a coping mechanism.
A cuckold is the husband of an adulterous wife. In evolutionary biology, the term is also applied to males who are unwittingly investing parental effort in offspring that are not genetically their own. Cuckolding is a sexual fetish that seems to be growing in popularity.
From the research I can see, cuckolding fetishes come from the man sexualizing something that he fears. If he fears being cheated upon, his mind sexualizes cheating as a coping mechanism and the sexualized fear becomes the fetish and thus takes away its power to hurt him.
For other men, the cuckolding fetish is a progressive form of compersion where the man wants the woman to feel as much pleasure as she can. He shares in her pleasure of taking another lover because he genuinely wants to see her sexual fulfillment. For these guys, it is about the woman being unashamed of what she wants and how she wants it.
Other men such as the boss from our previous blog do this sort of thing out of control. These guys feel like they are in charge of everything. At the end of the day, they simply don’t want to make any decisions. Having power in the bedroom reminds them of work which is neither relaxing nor comforting. These guys want to let go of work which can mean control, power and even respect. With the loss of control comes the loss of responsibility which can be a bit of a burden to turn off.
There are many ways that humiliation can be erotic for different people. I’ve listed a few of the most common erotic humiliation themes that have come up in this blog and in my relationships. The truth is that the endorphin rush of humiliation can be addictive and undeniable. Our society makes sex into such a big deal and it really doesn’t have to be. Our minds sexualize all kinds of things and sometimes it makes the most sense to go with whatever turns you on. If both partners have discussed it, and enjoy it – what’s the harm?