He is gay so he likes penis. She is gay so she likes vagina. They are bi so they like both. Then you throw a throw in trans and that whole equation gets more complicated. I love beautiful women but I am not a huge fan of the girl parts down there. A beautiful woman with a penis is a wonderful invention. I am attracted to the femininity of a beautiful woman, the masculinity of a beautiful man and everything in between.
What about the parts that I don't necessarily love? I really enjoy her curves and breasts but her vagina? I can take it or leave it. How about a masculine trans person with a vagina? It doesn't change things for me. I enjoy his masculinity and I am attracted that that masculinity but I don't care so much for his vagina.
Does that make me some sort of bigot, sexist or transphobe? Maybe. You tell me. I'll be the first to admit that I don't know anything about transgender community. Like many others, I get most of my transgender education from pop culture and porn. I acknowledge that I am certainly not giving these wonderful people their due since these are probably the worst two places I can go. Nevertheless, this is the context that I am working with.
With that in mind, we have four types of people.
- Those that identify as male and have male parts.
- Those that identify as male and have female parts.
- Those that identify as female and have female parts.
- Those that identify as female and have male parts.
So if #1 and #3 get down and dirty, everything is alright but any of the others want to netflix-n-chill then suddenly a group of people has a problem with it?…
Once again, very sure you have my house bugged. My wife and I were talking about my sexuality a bit last night. It was not particularly deep in content, the basis of it was this.
– I am biologically a guy. And enjoy all aspects of female sexuality
– still a guy, but I also enjoy all parts of male sexuality. So am I bi?
– I enjoy being mentally a woman, and enjoy being with women. Does that make me a lesbian in that case. Or still bi, or trans…
– I enjoy being mentally a woman and would like to enjoy a man while feeling that, preferably sharing with my wife. So trans then?
In the end our discussion concluded with her declaring that I am beautiful and she loves me for who I am and how we are together. So it doesn’t matter. We don’t actively try to define it, because it really does not matter as long as we are happy.
I applaud you diving down this rabbit hole, as you said, because it is a real sticky wicket. The good thing about giving up on a definition for myself is it makes it easy to not be offended.
Perhaps they should just add a Facebook style Its Complicated box to all gender question areas.
“Does that make me some sort of bigot, sexist or transphobe? Maybe. You tell me.”
No! It does not. Not preferring something is everyone’s right. Hating or discriminating against someone just because they have a vagina or penis, because of their religion, political leanings, sexual orientation, color of their skin, believe the earth is flat, or they love women with red hair (like me), or ……. whatever else, is an entirely different matter, and is wrong … IMO.
Sadly I think that it is becoming more acceptable for people to identify other as racist, homophobic, sexist …. whatever, just because that other person automatically decides that you don’t fall into line with their beliefs. This is figuratively hitting someone over the head with hammer rather thank allowing reasonable, adult, even problem solving discourse.
“they love women with red hair (like me)”
For you friend.
Our cancel culture at its finest.
4.5