Like most of you, I enjoy oral sex. I mean, I really enjoy oral sex. Not just receiving but also giving. There are so many nuances to oral sex and it can be about dominance or can be an act of service or submission. I enjoy waking up and feeling a warm mouth on my nether-regions. I don’t always have an orgasm with oral sex and I don’t always want to have an orgasm with oral sex. The act of oral sex can be the culmination of that sexual encounter or it can be foreplay for a more penetrative subsequent experience.
I enjoy waking up to oral sex (who doesn’t, right?) but I don’t have the patience for more than a few minutes of it. When I wake I usually need to pee shortly thereafter and I don’t like to have an orgasm when I have to pee. They don’t feel good and I am too distracted by the pee sensation. Enough about pee, let’s get back to orgasms.
I mentioned above that I enjoy receiving oral sex but guess what. I also enjoy giving oral sex. A giver by nature, I enjoy kneeling before a guy and feeling his body tense and relax as I pleasure him. So many women expect to receive oral sex but don’t enjoy giving it. First off, they are crazy because oral is as much fun to give as it is to receive.
Is Oral Sex Submissive or Dominant?
I enjoy the dominance of oral sex. I enjoy holding the back of his head as he goes down on me. I enjoy walking through the door and aggressively pointing downward and saying “suck my pussy”. I even enjoy receiving blowjobs on a strapon. That last one I did to be silly but despite having no sensation in the dangly bit of rubber I enjoyed it immensely. The control of dominance in oral sex is an incredible feeling.
I don’t think that giving oral sex must necessarily be an inherently submissive act. Is there any difference between me saying “suck my pussy” and Kevin or Andrew saying “suck my dick”? I don’t think so.
For example, when I give blowjobs I usually feel like I am in control. His body yearning for my mouth, lurching as I take him into my mouth and into my throat. I hold the power of pleasure and pleasure can be a powerful force.
I’ve heard of guys who refuse to go down on me stating “real men don’t do that”. Good luck Mr. Macho man, let’s see how long that lasts. I’ve heard of girls that like to receive oral but are grossed out when it comes time for their turn to give. To those I say, get over yourself ladies!
Oral Sex Positions
Oral sex takes on so many different roles from facesitting to the famous sixty nine. Oral sex can be performed by both parties in bed, the shower and is arguably the easiest sex act to do in public. I’m going to focus this part on the oral sex positions that I enjoy receiving oral sex the most.
Let’s start with the standing position. Lie back against the wall or counter, push your pelvis out and have your partner drop to his knees. Use your hand behind his head to guide him to the right spot.
Another favorite is the as yet unnamed “from behind” position. Lie face down on the bed with pillows beneath your tummy so your bum is pushing out. Use your hand or a toy beneath you on your clit and let him kneel beside the bed or lay behind you and lick. The logistics of this one can be a bit weird but really enjoyable after some trial and error.
Oral Sex During Intercourse
This one is WON-DER-FUL although it does require that your partner be a contortionist or more realistically a third partner. While receiving penetrative sex, your partner provides oral attention to your clit. This can require a sexually confident/open partner since their face will be close to the action. The sensation is overwhelming, it is like using a toy on your clit during sex but you don’t have to concentrate on maneuvering it to all the right places. Not only does it empower your femininity with all of the energy on your nether regions but it feels absolutely incredible. One of the biggest turn-ons for me is to see two guys working together to see me receive pleasure.
Orgasms During Oral Sex
For boys, it really helps to have an established doctrine of what happens when ejaculation happens prior to the act itself. My personal preference is for that man nectar be delivered into my mouth but some don’t like the taste or consistency and would rather the precious cargo be deposited on their chest or face. Having the “where should it go” conversation is great pillow talk and also sets expectations that could put a damper on the whole situation if done improperly.
Ladies can be just as complicated with oral sex, if you are anything like me you are super sensitive during and after an orgasm. If he continues, it almost becomes ticklish (in a bad way). I had one partner who kept trying to stimulate me during orgasms even though I told him it was uncomfortable. I am not sure if he thought I was joking but not listening to your partner is a big turn off. Being the control freak that I am, I like placing a hand on the back of the head of a fella when he is down there. Some guys don’t enjoy this and it changes the dynamic of the act for them. Back to the dominant/submissive act paragraph above, I suppose.
Oral sex is wonderful. So, let’s talk about giving and receiving pleasure!
“I enjoy the dominance of oral sex. I enjoy holding the back of his head as he goes down on me. I enjoy walking through the door and aggressively pointing downward and saying “suck my pussy”.”
This! There is no better feeling than when my Wife holds the back of head and pulls me into her. That whole “pointing to the floor” thing is pretty awesome too.
You said that the best is penetration + oral attention, have you been able to try this practice with andrew and kevin ??:)
Why yes, we have. In fact, it was my first experience with penetration + oral.
“I enjoy walking through the door and aggressively pointing downward and saying “suck my pussy”.”
I should also add that there is no greater honor, no greater joy than to be called upon to perform this worshipping at her Altar.
I must admit, it was tough keeping a straight face the first time I did it. Then I asked myself, why. Why would this make me feel silly or uncomfortable? When a guy says “suck my dick” he feels assertive and perhaps dominant but I don’t think he feels silly. Just another societal gender difference that is worth talking about.
Sadly I have never enjoyed receiving oral. I’m not sure why as I’m obviously the oddity amongst women but the sensation of his tongue is just a huge turn off for me.
Not sure if that is because my early experiences were such that they turned me off but I’ve never warmed to it, much to my husbands disappointment as he has said that it is one of the things that he’d always enjoyed doing for a woman.
I do like giving it though and have experienced many of the feelings that Emma has described.
However I have ‘substituted’ receiving oral by having him wear a mouth dildo gag. It gives me that same sense of empowerment by having him between my legs and being able to control what I want with the added element of him not being able to say much, and what he does say is garbled/muffled by the piece of the gag inside his mouth.
And just like receiving oral, there are a number of positions that I can adopt for him to penetrate me in.
One does lose the ability to be spontaneous as you need to have the gag to hand (no I don’t carry it around as a matter of course!) but the act of strapping it on him and then guiding his head into position, and even holding his head whilst he is fucking me with it, is incredibly empowering.
“However I have ‘substituted’ receiving oral by having him wear a mouth dildo gag. It gives me that same sense of empowerment by having him between my legs and being able to control what I want with the added element of him not being able to say much, and what he does say is garbled/muffled by the piece of the gag inside his mouth.”
This is amazing fun. Ms. K and I recently bought a dildo that is secured to my chin leaving my mouth and chin fully functional. OMG does she ever lover. Not quite the same as what Emma has going for her but it does allow for oral while being penetrated.
“but the act of strapping it on him and then guiding his head into position, and even holding his head whilst he is fucking me with it, is incredibly empowering.”
Love this and so does She.
Hi Ms Tara,
I was rather saddened to read you have never enjoyed receiving oral as I think you might be missing out on something truly wonderful but perhaps there’s a bit of baggage from a previous life. Maybe your first experience was with an incompetent, totally inexperienced, ignorant boyfriend who hadn’t a clue about a woman’s body. Perhaps I was that boyfriend and apologise profusely. I was nearly 20 years old before I had my first sexual encounter, she was a couple of years older and I was truly out of my depth. I probably traumatised her for life, though I do hope not. She was gorgeous but I never felt good enough for her and broke it off but I still think of her a lot.
As a youngster I hated rice pudding but when I grew up a bit and was given I sumptuously prepared one I soon learned to love them and still do so. Perhaps this could be the same with you and receiving oral. Is it something you never try these days or you have tried it but rice pudding still isn’t to your taste?
Having said this, I too have a similar problem with receiving oral but love giving. It’s not that I don’t like it ‘cos I suppose I do but in the back of my mind is the thought that so often women are forced into sucking cocks as a matter of course against their will in the form of rape, abuse and dominance. There’s no love or respect there. I also worry there isn’t really a comfortable position for the woman when giving a blow job and she’s likely to end up with a stiff neck, deep vein thrombosis whilst gagging and getting jaw ache. Consequently I struggle to relax and enjoy receiving under such circumstances. For me, giving to the lady of my life is gentle and much more loving. She can also view the act as she wishes, one of dominance on her part or as submission.
I’m very willing to surrender myself totally to a long slow handjob, at which MsWife excels but even then I worry about her getting wanker’s cramp. Paranoid or what?
Hi soundsofdelight
I’m not sure that I can actually identify how my aversion to receiving oral came about. It certainly wasn’t that the first person who tired it wasn’t experienced or that he tried to force anything at all. It happened as I was in that stage of exploring my sexuality and sex in its many and varied forms and I experimented with the ‘usual’ range of techniques, positions etc.
It’s when I discovered the power of nice lingerie, the pose, high heels, the effect of the touch on a man and how to please and be pleased in bed. I guess it was that time we all go through as young adults. It is true that I was a little of a late starter and I did have one unfortunate experience that upset me, but in the main my early experiences were pleasant and progressed at a pace I was comfortable with.
However receiving oral just wasn’t something I enjoyed. As I’ve said my husband is very disappointed as he’d love to be able to do it for me. There’s nothing he loves more than to make me orgasm and, apparently, he was very adept at achieving this with previous girlfriends through giving oral. And from time to time we do revisit it, but alas to date my aversion has remained.
“And from time to time we do revisit it, but alas to date my aversion has remained.”
Such a shame but you have something else that really works for you, viz. the mouth dildo gag, and if it makes you happy then I’m sure that’s all that matters to your other half.
It certainly sounds like fun and would be something I’d like to try but it’s also a world away from where MsWife could visit. I’m still working on her keeping me locked up.
I absolutely love going down on my Wife, way more than me being on the receiving end of a blowjob. I might be rubbish at most things but when it comes to oral sex I know it is the one thing I can deliver. A fact my Wife is all too happy to keep reminding me of. Even though it always has to be given in total darkness I have learned to read her body from the smallest of twitches to the arching back and head crushing thigh embrace. I can edge her till she’s ready to murder me, give her multiple orgasms till she’s knackered or just settle for one biggy and a long loving cuddle afterwards. Whatever she wants she gets, it’s pure pleasure for me to give. You ladies should be aware though. Your weakness is an engorged clit and a swollen G-spot which, when simultaneously massaged correctly, enables us blokes to do a bit of teasing and denying just as well as you.
“I absolutely love going down on my Wife, way more than me being on the receiving end of a blowjob.”
Completely agree. I consider it be among one of the greatest honors she can give me, and is an immense source of joy. I could live there!
My wife always orders me to go down on her and I love it. I will do it any way she wants. I do like when she makes me get on my knees before her and orders me to lick her. I really love when she gets on her stomach and raises her behind up and makes me lick her from behind I work on her pussy for a while then I go to her hole and work that. I always bring her to orgasm from giving her oral.
“ While receiving penetrative sex, your partner provides oral attention to your clit. This can require a sexually confident/open partner since their face will be close to the action. ….. One of the biggest turn-ons for me is to see two guys working together to see me receive pleasure.”
Emma, am I correct in assuming that is was Kevin with his face close to the action while Andrew was inside you?
Yes, that is correct. Kevin is excellent at oral and truly enjoys participating in my pleasure.
Of course he enjoys participating in your pleasure, especially in that fashion. Was there any aversion to having Andrew’s penis right there near his mouth? Being the one that is submissive, has his submission evolved into his talented mouth being used for the pleasure of both you and Andrew?
At first it was a big deal and they were both squeamish about it. I told them to get over themselves, if we are sleeping in the same bed they can learn to deal with it. It is much better now, I think they both just wanted each other to know they weren’t gay. Some sort of silly male ritual or something.
Great to hear. I have never thought what’s between your legs. I want to see my partner’s glow is the best I can put it that gives me joy.
H loves oral, I enjoy performing it for her, nothing better than feeling her hands on my head pulling me deeper into her, having recently returned to work and H having Fridays off I was sent a text telling me to come home last Friday lunchtime (work is 5 minutes away from home) best lunch I’ve had in a good while. She chose to keep me locked, and to be honest I wasn’t complaining.