He expertly unsnaps your bra, you feel his warm breath on your neck. You feel his warm breath on the back of your ear. You get the chills, your blood is racing with anticipation. You put your hands on his tummy and slowly slide your hands down below his waistband to his soft penis.
For some women this is a mood killer. We internalize it, he is soft because he isn't attracted to me or isn't into it. What good is a soft dick anyway? The hard dick is the epitome of masculinity and a man with a soft dick almost always more in touch with his emotions than MrAlwaysReadyToGo™. The soft dick doesn't always stay a soft dick forever and many men need some foreplay just like we do. Sometimes he's had a bit too much to drink, too tired or anxious about the situation or his sexual performance. There are many medical conditions that cause ED such as Hard Flaccid Syndrome (HF), heart disease, high cholesterol, diabetes, obesity, multiple sclerosis or various types of sleep disorders. If years of blue pill marketing has taught us anything it is that a soft dick is a broken dick. If he isn't hard or unable to get hard, he is broken. Poppycock I say, pure poppycock! A soft penis is still a very functional penis.
You have two options, make it about you and put a stop to things or embrace it and experience an entirely different type of sex. Here are some things that are great about soft dick situations. Unconventional play can be more fun and give opportunities to be silly together.
A soft cock means that tonight's sex might be different than the traditional hop on top of me and grunt for three minutes until you make a noise like a dying ostrich. Is that a bad thing? Not to me! Most men will be self conscious about a soft cock but I like to see it as an opportunity to evolve the type of sex that you experience as a couple. If he is soft, he is emotionally vulnerable and far more likely to be open to trying things to put the focus on your pleasure. There are two ways you can react. Aww poor thing, he is soft or my personal favorite. Ooh exciting, you know how much I love when he is soft and squishy.
With a soft penis, whole body sex is possible. You can hold each other close and feel the warmth of your region without a pokey thing trying to find its way into your body. For me, sex isn't defined by penetration. Sex is defined by intimacy and connection. I don't actually care if penetration happens or not. I prefer if an orgasm or two happens because I'm a big fan of the way those orgasmy things make me feel.
If your soft man can get out of his head and ignore the soft penis like you already have, he can still feel a great deal of pleasure and even have orgasms. Rubbing your genitals against each other can feel incredible even when his isn't hard. A soft penis is much more enjoyable to perform oral sex on. Exploring the top, the sides, the underside, a gentle nibble and little concern about anyone's gag reflex. Oral sex that simulates vaginal sex is really just substituting one hole for another and it does little to deepen the connection. Many men get so wrapped up in performance that sex is about overcoming the pressure to perform and not about reinforcing an emotional bond. …
…and this folks is why we don’t cut off foreskins. Also, get a nice grip above the testicles and give that scrotum a good stretch. Feels great and that extra length makes a satisfying feeling and slapping sound for your partner.
Right on the button. I am emasculated via caging rather than ED, but some of the best sex is had with me caged – for both of us.
A further thought is that the body is full of erogenous zones, but lots of men never get past their cocks and so miss out on additional places that feel great.
Emma,
Loved this post… you are spot on. There were times where I was not able to get an hard for my wife and she took it as she no longer turned me on. It couldn’t be further to the truth. I couldn’t explain why I had an issue, but it allowed my to really perfect my oral skills on her. It afforded me to take pleasure in giving rather than receiving.
It took a very long time before she was okay with my infrequent softies. I’m glad she did before she left this world.
Emma, this is a great post! I desire much more out of sex then just thrusting when my cock is hard, involving both more emotional connection and creativity. I especially enjoyed the videos of women playing with a soft penis as well. They demonstrate curiosity, joy, and the intimacy behind sex so much better than just penetration. And I really agree with this quote!
“As your partner, it is only fair that we get to play with it!”
It’s delightful to see them having so much fun with a penis and to realize, as you pointed out, we’ve been playing with them our whole lives but a girl is still discovering so much about them. I love that you and Kev have soft penis playtime while watching shows and I love simply having my soft penis held and played with as well. It felt like watching wholesome porn. 🙂
It was ED that led us further into chastity and eventually into consensual nonmonogamy.I think I’ve written about this before but putting him in long term chastity was actually a great thing for him as it relieved him of the anxiety of not being able to stay hard for very long. Mentally it left him in a better place and actually helped us enormously enjoy each other in other, very fulfilling, ways.
He no longer felt he was ‘letting me down’ as I had the control over his penis and that negated the fact of his ED.
I’m not saying it fixed a broken marriage, because ours was never broken, but it did help us move forward with dealing with a sensitive issue that was causing him upset.
Emma, thank you for a great post about the silver lining in erectile dysfunction. I don’t have anything to add because you have covered the topic so well.
My story is similar to a commenter named ‘mstara’. My wife and I had a mild FLR already in place when I had a stroke in 2012. I was only in my late 40s. I’m fully recovered, and maybe better, since my wife and I got into the best shape we could and remained that way. This was at her insistence.
But, ED and related issues developed over time and were compounded by medication. I suggested chastity play. My device is comfortable and I wear it most of the time. We developed chastity and roll playing/orgasm denial into intimate and full time fun. Mostly oral, and some prostate play, give us great bedroom fun. I’ve actually been so excited by teasing that sometimes (though rarely) I can orgasm. I’ve never thought of it this way, but being locked up has taken the pressure off me.
As an irrevocably impotent person, I said I liked this article and thank you, Emma!