My husband Jason isn’t the type to ask for what he really wants. Not directly, anyway. Communication has never been his strong suit. He’s always been sweet, devoted, emotionally intelligent—and just a little too shy to speak his deepest truths. But I see him. I see him more clearly than he knows.
The way his breathing changes when I flirt with other men in public. The hunger in his eyes when I wear something too revealing, just daring someone else to notice me. And most of all, the way he stammers and blushes when the subject of threesomes comes up—specifically ones where I’m the center of attention… and he’s just there.
Sex with Jason isn't passionless but it is repetitive and dare I say mundane. He doesn't go out on a limb or try anything new. He loves me an absolutely adores every inch of my body which I can't get enough of but it is more of a passenger and I am more of the driver in the bedroom. That's nice but sometimes it leaves me wanting more, wanting to be the passenger, shut my mind off and just be used by someone. I've expressed this to Jason and he makes an attempt but he doesn't know what he is doing in that regard. He only lasts a few minutes and that doesn't leave much time for exploration. He adores me. Reveres me, really. And I think that’s where the seed of his fantasy began. Somewhere between his admiration and his desire to surrender completely.
Over time, I started to connect the dots: he didn’t want a typical MFM threesome.
He wanted more for me and at same time he wanted to be less.
To be replaced, even temporarily. To watch me experience something with another man that he knew he simply couldn’t give me.…
