For those of you who are not familiar with CFNM, it is a type of scenario where women are clothed and men are nude. Arguably the most famous blog about CFNM is maintained by a woman named Marie and her blog is aptly named Marie CFNM. Check her blog out and enjoy this exclusive Q&A with Marie!
Hello Marie! I am learning about CFNM and wanted to reach out to you to answer some questions to help me understand CFNM and why you think it is so popular.
Tell us about yourself, who is the infamous Marie?
Marie is a common girl (now a woman) living in Europe, loving beaches, sun, and … nude boys. I really like all the situations where males are naked with dressed females …
What got you interested in CFNM?
Since I was a little girl, I was curious about boys’ body and I enjoyed the opportunities to see my little friends’ dicks on display when changing swimsuit on the beach or in the pool. I didn’t know the term CFNM but I was really going into it!
What led you to starting your site and how long have you been operating it?
Over the time I discovered that my passion for CFNM was shared by some college friends and more and more by other people … both females and males. I occasionally found some CFNM material in Internet, but it was mainly posed professional photos, not real life. So, in 2006 I decided to start a blog about real CFNM you can experience in everyday life in several situations. It got a great success and here we are!
I found the following definition for CFNM:
The acronym stands for Clothed Female, Nude Male. Historically this has stood for the dominant female objectifying the naked man, this allowing the woman to hold the sexual power.Do you feel like the CFNM definition that I found is accurate?
This is only one of the several definitions and I have a different point of view. In porn CFNM is mainly close to Fendom and BSDM, but in real life is generally another matter. CFNM is a situation where dressed girls and women could enjoy the visual sensations of naked boys and men, generally consensual and not necessarily involving sex.
CFNM is exciting both for male and female because it is taboo to be naked around members of the opposite sex who are keeping their clothing on. In society generally nudity with the opposite sex it’s usually because they are having sex together and both are naked. There is sort of a weird feeling to being naked when other people are dressed, and I think that that weird out of place feeling is partially what makes CFNM exciting.
Read my post about “The true spirit of CFNM” which got more than 100 comments!
CFNM is a state of mind, a mood, and attitude, not simply watching naked men.
It’s a game among men and women. Male and female tease and amuse each other in a new, unusual way.
I personally love seeing nude men. I also think I would love to see a man who is embarrassed or uncomfortable about being nude. Do you think the CFNM fetish appeals to women as much as it appeals to men? In what ways?
I think both women and men like CFNM but, of course, the point of view and the sensations are different. Girls feel experience a new situation, a different relation with males and their bodies. They also like to reverse the traditional female-male role and the attitude toward nudity. Guys too experience a new sensation, merging exhibitionism and embarrassment, pride, cockiness and shame.
My fiancé described CFNM as making him feel humiliated, open and vulnerable. Do you think that is the root of it or do you think it is deeper?
Being naked in front of dressed women makes males excited and embarrassed at the same time, involving their innate exhibitionism as well as a sensation of unfairness … But not all males experience the same sensations. For some, exhibitionism and provocation towards women prevail, others like to be humiliated or even dominated …
When men are aroused, it is quite… apparent. Do you think a flaccid penis or erect penis is more sexy in the CFNM fetish or in CFNM genre porn? Does it matter?
Porn is not real CFNM. In everyday life CFNM both situations could occur, but usually flaccid is more common. Truly speaking, it doesn’t matter a lot, the situation could be intriguing for both, dressed female and naked male, even if no visible excitement is shown. However, having an erection view in public, maybe on the beach or at an event like WNBR is something amusing and also embarrassing for a woman. For a man as well as I think could be very embarrassing but also a dare!
I’ve seen CFNM described as male humiliation and some of the porn portrays it as such. Why do you think that men feel it is humiliating to be nude? Do you think it must be humiliating to be considered CFNM?
CFNM as porn is a great misunderstanding. Anyway, humiliation and embarrassment could be a part of male sensations in CFNM, but not the only ones. The key point is the double standard, i.e. naked versus dressed people. This explain also the general excitement about “Nude-dressed Opposite Situations”; in that case, Males or females doesn’t matter: it’s always strange and exciting being nude among dressed people. So, also the reverse of CFNM, CMNF has a lot of fans.
My site is a huge fan of male chastity. How do cock cages play into CFNM? Is chastity accepted or frowned upon?
Cock cages, as well as cock rings and other toys are a part of sexual life for many people and therefore could also be involved in CFNM situations. Since CFNM is in several different situations, places, opportunities, including sex, also cock cages are in. Of course, they are especially linked to CFNM when it comes into BDSM and domination … a hard way to humiliate a male, not only on display naked for a woman, but also his genitals locked by her!
Different situations, places, opportunities could occur in CFNM: from beaches to home, theatres and movies, locker rooms, happening, art performance and events.
Is CFNM inherently a submissive fetish or can men find it empowering to be nude around women?
It’s not inherently a submissive fetish. As already said, both scenerios are viable and real, it depends on situations and people. Unexpected or mandatory nudity as well as forced strip with dressed women could be humiliating or even a part of submissive role play. On the contrary, men willing to show naked on beaches, public event or spas often do it on purpose to be seen by women and they are happy, excited and proud of that.
What do you think is the biggest misconception about CFNM?
To confuse it with porn or to consider it a pleasure only for females or for males.
Many of the photos on your site show CFNM scenarios where men are nude in what seems like a public place. The females don’t seem overly concerned about the nudity.
Yes, CFNM in a public place is really the best: events like WNBR, beaches, festivals, etc. They are great opportunities for women to look at many naked men at the same time, having the sight of very different bodies. At one time they can see as many cocks and balls of all shapes and colors as they would ever see elsewhere. For men, on the other hand, it is an opportunity to be seen naked by many women, to exhibit their genitals without restraint and without risk. Sometimes women (as men) love to expose their partner and push them to go nude in public, clothing optional beaches or events …
Are CFNM parties a real thing?
Some parties’ pictures you find in the web are fakes. Anyway, some CFNM parties are part of real life. I participated in some hen parties organized by friends of the bride-to-be. Sometimes also normal parties among friends with dare and games go into cfnm … but are a different matter.
For many men new to nudism & exhibitionism there is a level of shame associated with their penis. How do you think shame plays into CFNM?
Shame plays a big part in CFNM, giving fun to the girls and humiliating guys. But shame can also involve girls, embarrassing them. On the other hand, shame can excite guys …
Does SPH (small penis humiliation) play into CFNM?
Exposing genitals is always a little bit embarrassing and humiliating, both for males and females. If your goods are not nice and/or not big enough is even more embarrassing. Anyway, CFNM and SPH can go together or not, it depends on situations, they are not necessarily linked.
I’ve written in other blogs about men not having an outlet to feel sexy in our society. Women are seen as the definition of “sexy”. Do you feel like this allows men to feel sexy?
I personally find that men can be sexy if they have a nice body, are nice and smart. Male nudity is generally considered less appealing than female one, but I think because is a male prevailing opinion. As a matter of fact, in recent years male nudity (and CFNM) has grown very fast in fine art photography, movies, theatre plays and art in general … Today there is a lot of male nudity in several situations and the female audience appreciate it.
In our society, women are constantly objectified. Do you feel like CFNM is an opportunity for us to objectify men in a healthy way?
Sure, as said in the previous answer, male body is currently more used than in the past in every art, ads, communication etc.. Male nudity is becoming as common as female one. The difference, in my opinion is that often male nudity is associated to dressed female. Let’s see a lot of fashion advertising for example.
Look for instance at Kate Moss photos or to the Abercrombie & Fitch ads.
So, CFNM is becoming step by step more and more common and accepted in society. Nothing new, indeed, in the ancient time male nudity was common while female body was often hidden.
To my knowledge, there isn’t a CMNF fetish (clothed male, nude female), why do you think that is?
You missed something. CMNF exists and I believe is appreciated enough by men. As said before, the essence of CFNM is the double standard, i.e. naked versus dressed people. Males or females doesn’t matter: it’s always strange and exciting being nude among dressed people. Moreover, men are generally more attracted by female nude body than women by male one, so CMNF is very common in movies and photography. I think, however, it’s less common than CFNM in real life. That’s a paradox!
CFNM seems to be a fetish driven by men but I personally find it rather sexy. Do you agree that it is primarily male? If so, what do you think would make the fetish more popular in the female audience?
CFNM is supposed to be a mainly a male fetish because women often do not admit openly their interest toward male body. However, if you see the behavior of many women during some events like WNBR o Roskilde festival, you realize that women really love the view of naked males and they have a lot of fun in CFNM situations. Look for instance at my flickr.
And if you look to my albums on Flickr (in addition to my blog), you realize that all photos are of real situations, everyday people, several different opportunities. They are not my opinion, it’s real life!
The female audience of CFNM is currently growing fast, but more consciousness is needed. CFNM should be promoted by media, in art and moreover in everyday life. In some countries in Europe several beaches are mainly CFNM, the same in some Spas or locker room. It’s necessary women first ask their boyfriend and hubbies to go nude as much as possible. Usually this increases the quality of relation, love and sex. Encouraging participation in naked event like WNBR, nudity on the beach and step by step with friends …
Thank you so much for making time for us and for sharing your thoughts on what CFNM means to you. I know I speak for every Evolving Your Man member when I give a heartfelt thank you for agreeing to chat with us today.
Below are just a few images from the famous Marie CFNM blog. Please visit her blog and tell her that Emma sent you.
CFNM seems to take many forms. The purest form seems to be what you will find on Marie’s website. This is a light, teasing and almost nudist/naturist type of content that you see above. As you look in other places, you will find that it incorporates other fetishes.
Reddit’s r/cfnmfetish defines their community as:
CFNM = Clothed Female, Nude Male The kink, not just the coincidental nudity of a clothed Female giving a blow job or getting bent over. It has to be about the Male being exposed somehow in front of the clothed Female.
Did you like Marie CFNM? Here are a few other sites that you might enjoy.
- Privates in Public
- CFNM and Other Delights
- Want to talk to some CFNM’ers? Here is a site for exhibitionists which seems to be one of the more popular CFNM forums.
Some CFNM scenarios combine several genres like SPH.
Other CFNM combines things like chastity and pegging.
I really enjoy CFNM and it took me a while to figure out exactly what exactly I find so fascinating about it. Mild porn scenarios where the female has her clothes on instead of off. So what?
Modern porn seems so staged, like the entire thing is such a production. CFNM seems real and spontaneous. Hell, it is so spontaneous that the lady couldn’t even be bothered to take her clothes off! CFNM presents a reality where men are sexualized and objectified, something that I think our society lacks. Part of the appeal reminds me of my own coming of age and realization of my own sexuality. I remember making my boyfriend at the time strut his stuff and I was absolutely fascinated with his magical growing appendage. The CFNM dynamic implies that the man is in a position of weakness and vulnerability because sex cannot happen until the woman also removes her clothes and “joins the party” per se. Until she removes her clothes there is a mismatch of vulnerability. Additionally, penises are unique in that you never know what you are going to get in terms of size. It is interesting to see two guys and their reactions of being in a nude setting with a significant mismatch in the size department. This creates an aura of humor and awkwardness that also adds to our society’s double standard in terms of nudity. Think of the streaker through the football or rugby field.
Our society adds a level of stigma to the nude male body that is shocking and offensive in an assaultive way. This takes us back to the conversation in a previous blog about our society seeing the male body as valueless. A nude fit man is seen as indecent while a nude fit woman is seen as a wonderful treat. Yes, I know women generally are the controllers of sex and are certainly victims of sex crimes far more frequently than men. Exhibitionism transcends genders but our reactions are polar opposites.
I would like to go to a CFNM party. If anyone is organizing one, please let me know. I’ve gone to shows like Chippendales which involve very sexy men dancing but that is a very different thing. They are very R rated and nothing like what you would imagine at a female strip club if genders were reversed.
There is no right way to enjoy your CFNM, you can enjoy the pure innocence of Marie’s page or you can look at the heavily fetishized and pornographized version that you will find on Porn Hub or the like. Most of what you’ve seen in this blog thus far are photos but videos are common as well. Most of the videos are the Porn Hub type videos but there are some good ones. The best part is the reality of some CFNM scenarios and even better, the dialog. Some scenarios involve a high powered female executive or perhaps a uniformed military or policewoman. As you saw from Marie’s site, many of these scenarios are outdoors and in public places while others are indoors settings where nudity is more acceptable.
I personally enjoy an aura of innocence and realism to my CFNM so my preference is on Marie’s flavour. What is your take on CFNM? Do you find it arousing or silly? I find it interesting that I had to search for reasons why I enjoy CFNM. Few other types of imagery require such analysis.
Thanks for sharing this Emma. It’s wonderful!!
I think it’s safe to say that many men that allow their wives/gf’s to control their sexual activity, be it cages, semen retention, orgasm control, WLM’s, etc., find CFNM a very exciting prospect indeed. I know I do. Bucket list item in fact.
I’m somewhat familiar with Marie’s page and have visited it before. It’s a lot of fun and I enjoy it very much. Marie does put a wonderful innocence and fun to her site for sure!
I don’t have any personal experience with CFNM because Ms. K. and I are very private with our lifestyle and frankly have never the opportunity. How much fun would it be for a group of like-minded women to get together for a dinner party let’s say, to be served, entertained and waited on by their naked men, many of us in cages? It would be a tremendous amount of fun!
Recently I have wandering around the house naked (caged) and we both are enjoying that very much. I would very much like to attend one as well and like you said, if anyone is organizing one … let me/us know. ha ha Perhaps if it was arranged by the friends but still strangers I’ve made here, Ms. K. would allow it. he he.
Thank you! I haven’t been this excited to post one in quite some time. I intended to post it tomorrow but posted it this evening instead. I’m not a very patient person.
Oh come on now, you’re an incredibly patient person. It’s one of your best attributes. However, you’re entitled to something now when you’re excited … and clearly you were excited.
Love this post, we came within a second of going to our first cfnm event last weekend.
Do tell!
What is your favorite pic above? This one is mine, it reminds me of Kev and I.
My fave is the one with the naked butler standing patiently behind the woman working on her patio and indicative to how our life is evolving at home. So elegant.
I love the dynamic of it all but nudity just does nothing for me. I just prefer someone to be sexily dressed. I would like to create a new fetish, woman in comfortable sweatpants/scantily clad man. WSSM.
Love it but can I revise it to WYPBBM
women in yoga pants boxer briefs man
I love my yoga pants & love the look of well fitted boxer briefs with a nice cage-bulge up front.
Fantastic interview. As a male who loves CFNM I find it can be difficult to describe/articulate what it is about CFNM that is so appealing but this article said it all in ways I never could. Thanks for this one! I had to make an account just to express my appreciation.
I was enjoying CFNM for many years before I even heard of CFNM. It began with stripping off on camping trips. At first, I was among people I did not know – just whoever was camping in the same area. This was an area on a lake where campers and day visitors often went skinny dipping. I started camping there every chance I could get off from work and fell in love with my dick swinging freely in the presents of others. After several such trips, I started to include some of my friends and co-workers. Then I started being naked every chance I could. Over the years, I have tried to expand my nude world at hotel swimming pools and hot tubs, at the massage spa and on my dermatology exams. I would love an opportunity for a CFNM party, but do not know where to look.
Every time I discuss CFNM with lady friends they seem to find it uninteresting. I mean I like the reverse (Covered Male Nude Female) CMNF as in an art studio model. But I keep wondering how many women actually enjoy the idea of men walking nude around them because I never can find them although I’ve asked.
CFNM can be a very fun context for spanking and public embarrassment as playful discipline techniques. It’s acceptable only when legally allowed in public, or any private setting with consensual stripping and nudity.
Games and contests can be great ways to have men start out clothed, but gradually undress until totally nude in front of females who the men know, and females the men never met before the male game players lose rounds or contests, and end up finally pulling down their underwear to expose themselves completely for the women to enjoy watching and teasing.
I think the biggest hurdle to conquer here is the societal gap between female and male nudity. Female nudity is considered entertainment, whereas male nudity can (often at least) be considered self-gratification and/or threatening.
Female nudity often includes playfulness, frolicking, same-sex intimacy, and a host of other exciting aspects, but male nudity is usually stodgy, with the actors appealing uncomfortable and reluctant.
The exception appears to be the femboy/ladyboy image, thinner, weaker males who love performing and enjoy beauty and sensuality as a womyn would do, and not as a man would.
It would be refreshing to see more womyn expressing a preference for those sorts of males, who would be more submissive and obedient, trim and hairless, vs. the beefcake types that dominate male strip shows.
This a fascinating thought and you said some things that I’ve been trying to put into words for some time. Aside from your comment above, have you seen any further exploration down this thought tree? I’d love to explore and discuss it more. If I can work up enough of a compelling mental dialog, maybe even a blog at some point. Thanks for your comment Conway
I am glad you found my comments helpful. In response, I can share some thoughts with you.
When I was a kid in the 1960s, of course I read Playboy, like everyone else. I found most interesting “The World of Playboy”, the last page of the magazine, where Hugh Hefner shared some photos of his mansion parties and the events he sponsored. Many times, nude playmates would mingle in the crowd, serving drinks or simply providing entertainment by playing games or frolicking.
I was always fascinated by how those women could bring so much attention to themselves just by being nude, and I loved the power they had. The more vulnerable and exposed they were, the more powerful, confident, and secure they were, as everyone respected their boundaries. A man needs to prove himself to be powerful, but a womyn just needs to be noticed.
My research and reading over many decades suggests that womyn can internalize beauty, and they do so at an early age by wearing beautiful clothes, makeup, elaborate hair, and sexy accessories like stockings and elegant heels. Their power comes from just being a womyn, as Elise Sutton would have said.
Men cannot internalize beauty, so they must conquer it to possess it. That explains most male misbehavior, and the pushback against “sissies”, men who live in the world of softness and beauty that women can internalize, but is a mystery to most men. In the male world, that which cannot be conquered, must be destroyed. Perhaps the solution is a lesbian society where some males act as “aspirational females”, third parties in relationships that are also shared amongst relationships, with traditional males outside the social mainstream. If womyn were encouraged to be more visually-oriented, and men more sensory-oriented, we could have a more feminine world.
I do recall reading back in the 1990s that a strip club in New York City had a lesbian night on Sundays, where the female strippers would perform for female customers (in lieu of male customers). They did have some male servers in submissive roles (such as a ponyboy), and the concept was briefly successful. However, this was just an overlay on the male-dominated world of adult entertainment. A club owned by womyn, and for womyn, would offer a vastly different experience.