Wikipedia says that slut-shaming is the practice of criticizing women based upon the sexual expectations of others. I've gotten my share of raised eyebrows due to our living situation. In fact the leasing office for our apartment had to get "authorization" to rent a one bedroom to three people when we told them of our plans to move in together. So why do others feel the need to impose their values of appropriate sexual behavior? It is bugging me so in this blog I'll dig into it and give you a story that happened during our Thanksgiving Dinner yesterday.
As most of you know, I live with two amazing boys. One is my permanent boyfriend, Kevin and the other is our good friend Andrew. Long story about how it all came to be but we don't intend for Andrew to be part of our lives long term due to some differences in where we want to see ourselves. It is mutual and certainly nothing tragic that needs to be fixed. This isn't a happily ever story, we are are simply living in the now. We found that we enjoyed each other's company and simultaneously found ourselves having no lives due to the pandemic. We grew closer to those in our immediate circle and things happened from there.
I certainly haven't been ashamed of our situation. My friends are quite open minded and we talk about it frequently an openly. We know that parents won't approve and we've withheld it from some of our family for that reason. Most of that is religious, I've mentioned a religious background before and Kevin had a similar upbringing on his end.
One of Andrew's friends came over to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner with us. We haven't socialized much during the pandemic due to generally being homebodies and trying to steer clear of the dreaded Covid-19 bug. Andrew's friend whom we will call Frank was visiting from out of town, we figured he would be minimal risk but kept our distance anyway. We aren't paranoid but we are trying to be careful. Anyway, he was coming through town on a road trip and Andrew asked if he could share our turkey dinner. We discussed it and agreed.
Andrew called Frank a few days ago, invited him to join us and gave him a quick heads up about our living situation. Although Frank wouldn't be staying over, our one bedroom apartment is borderline uncomfortably crowded with stuff. Andrew said that Frank seemed intrigued but said it was fine. Frank arrived yesterday and we introduced ourselves, offered a cold beer and told him that we were still getting dinner ready.
Andrew and Frank caught up in the kitchen while Kevin and I popped the last of the dinner in the oven. We came back and joined the conversation with Frank and Andrew. When we came back, the conversation abruptly got silent. I didn't know what to make of the silence and tried to make smalltalk to get to know Frank but the conversation didn't seem to go anywhere. I noticed that Frank was looking me up and down as if he wanted to say something but didn't know how to approach it. Finally I just asked him straight out, so what do you think about our living situation. Two guys and a girl. Crazy, right? Frank looked at me for a moment, then responded unexpectedly with "Yeah, crazy. What do your parents think about it?". To that I told him that its really none of their business so I haven't told them but it is certainly different. Does it make you uncomfortable, Frank? Frank looked me up and down as if he wanted to say more but replied with "nope, to each their own".…
