If there is one behavior that drains a marriage of passion, it's a husband's masturbation habit. He should be retaining semen for the benefit of the relationship and recognize that you have the right to be involved with what he's doing in private as it directly effects you in a major way. If you're not receiving intimacy with your partner because he's being intimate with himself, that's a moral crime against you and your marriage as it robs both of you of shared intimacy with each other.
To me this habit is close to adultery in what it does to a marriage and should bring close to the same consequences if the wife finds out about it. I hope I've conveyed this with enough gravity. The only thing his penis should be stimulated by is you as you transcend together.
Some women may feel relieved that their husbands masturbate as it means they won't be annoying them with their desires because they themselves are sexually shut down. If that's the case, your marriage is already on the comfortable road to tolerable boredom and happy routine, but one of the things that can help correct it is for the husband to stop masturbating and channel his chi to the wife and help her awaken her yoni. I will address awakening your yoni in a later article if yours is a little sleepy after years of 3 minute sessions with your partners or your own personal issues.
Hopefully, we've come to the conclusion that one thing is paramount: masturbation for the man must stop. He can't be allowed to continually deplete his body of semen in this way. You need to take an interest and monitor this. Your marriage must be built upon honesty. If he'll lie to you about this, then there is a whole lot of work that needs to be done before you even consider this road. Just like alcoholics have a sponsor, you need to be there to give him guidance, support and a sympathetic ear. He needs to be accountable to you, and call you if he has a problem. If there is an infraction, I expect him to call my secretary and tell her he as a problem at home that needs my attention, and she'll give me a message. He should know there is an immediate consequence for that infraction, and I know how much he dreads making that call. We'll address the issue when I get home and deliver the appropriate consequence. Please see the article on consequences. Once you're actively involved in your husband's intimate life, that alone may be enough to eliminate this behavior.
He should expect daily inquiries from you about whether he has masturbated and acknowledge that you have the right as his wife to make these inquiries. This may have been an issue that both of you didn't really acknowledge before. Now it will be out in the open, and he will know that this is a top priority to you. I feel that even one upstroke on his penis is an infraction of the no masturbation rule, and an averse stimulus will be applied. If he's only broken the rule by stimulating himself, and there was no ejaculation, the averse stimulus may only be an 8:30 pm bedtime for a week. What's the harm if there was no ejaculation? All sexual pleasure should flow through you to him. As you establish yourself as the sole pleasure giver in his life, he will focus on you hoping for your touch, hoping for the daily intercourse session where he truly feels privileged to enter you, and he will work his hardest to deliver as many orgasms to you as you can stand and then some. You will become the perpetual novel female that he craves. He will listen to your words and not do anything that will make you form the words "You've just been bumped a day." Discipline may be no more complicated than the threat of delaying his E-day. You have no idea how smooth and blissful your day will be when he's trying to stay on schedule for his release. As he treats you with more respect, you will become a stronger more confident woman, and in turn his respect and love for you will increase.
When this habit is broken, you can be standing fully clothed in the kitchen, and he will get an erection just looking at you. You may simply want to just turn up the passion in your relationship using these principles which is fine, but once he is retaining, eliminated masturbation, and you've installed the ejaculation schedule you may define the relationship as you wish. Retaining semen, he will change, and his true self will emerge. He will come to see you differently. If you have poor self esteem, you may not feel comfortable with his new perception of you, but you should embrace this image of you that the Tao is revealing to him. It's through your husband that you will discover your true self. Your opinion will be highly valued, and your words will be closely listened to. Indeed, once my husband approaches 10 days without ejaculation with daily intercourse sessions, everything is "Yes, mam." No, mam." And he will even ask for permission to speak if it's about a subject we may have disagreement about. Your opinion will move from just being your opinion to law. I don't require these things at all from him, there are no rules issued by me. This former alpha male just adapts these behaviors as his biology changes.…
Love these posts! I am an older male, retired. I retired before my wife, so I had a lots of alone time around the house. I did things around the house and did some housework during the week and masturbated 3 or 4 times a week. We had a conversation one day about masturbation and my wife was shocked how often I was doing it. She thought it was a couple of times a month.
I was actually embarrassed. We read a couple of books about male chastity and long story short, I started locking up when she left for work and took it off at night. It took a few tries to get the right device, but I eventually did. I wore it all day, went to town etc., did shopping. I actually felt really naked without it.
The books we read talked about how men could change, my wife wasn’t so sure about it. But after a short while, she told me she could see a difference and I got WAY more done around the house. I got to ejaculate once a week on the weekend only. Later we reduced this to 3 times a month.
For a male to give up masturbation is somewhat difficult and very difficult to do on your own. A slight push from the wife and the right “tools”, it can be done.
I’d prefer pussy-free humuliation. (why the comments is in the article, making the page sooooooooooooo long.)
This is a blog previously published by Yoga Girl, a blog that is no longer in existence. I thought some of the previous comments were insightful so I included them.
My Wife was furious when she found out I masturbated. We had been trying to have a child and it was taking longer then we had hoped it would. My wife insisted on chastity to stop my masturbating while she was trying to get pregnant. She wanted to be able to control seman production and its release. She controlled the timing of my ejaculations to match her ovulating. It was almost another year before she became pregnant. By then chastity had become routine and she decided she would continue with it so I didn’t revert back to masturbating. I agreed and she has continued to control my seman production and release ever since.