Starting a Cuckold Relationship: Documenting Expectations

Starting a Cuckold Relationship: Documenting Expectations

When you’re thinking about entering or starting a cuckold relationship, the first thing you need to do is get on the same page with your partner. This type of dynamic can be incredibly exciting and fulfilling, but it also requires a tremendous amount of trust and communication. Before diving in, it’s crucial to make sure both of you are comfortable and happy with the terms. Here is Emma's version of how to go about it.

The foundation of any cuckold relationship is communication. You need to be completely open and honest with each other about your desires, fears, and boundaries. This is not a one-time chat but an ongoing dialogue that helps you both navigate this new dynamic.

  1. Share Your Desires and Fantasies:
    Start by laying everything out on the table. Talk about what excites you about cuckolding. Maybe for one of you, it’s the idea of sexual denial, or perhaps it’s the thrill of voyeurism. For the other, it might be about exploring sexual freedom and empowerment. Whatever it is, get specific about what turns you on and what you’re hoping to experience.
  2. Acknowledge Your Fears and Concerns:
    This isn’t always an easy conversation, but it’s essential. Address any worries you might have, whether it’s about jealousy, insecurity, or how this might impact your relationship. The key here is to be honest and supportive, finding ways to reassure each other and build trust.
  3. Set Clear Boundaries:
    Once you’ve talked about your desires and concerns, it’s time to set some ground rules. What’s off-limits? How often will the dominant partner see other people? Will the cuckold partner be involved or kept in the loop? Having clear boundaries will help both of you feel safe and respected.
  4. Keep the Conversation Going:
    Your feelings and needs might change over time, so make sure you keep talking about how things are going. Regular check-ins can help you adjust the dynamic if needed and ensure that you’re both still on the same page.

Understanding and agreeing on your roles within the cuckold dynamic is crucial. This clarity will help both of you know what to expect and how to navigate your desires and responsibilities.

  1. The Cuckold Partner:
    If you’re the cuckold partner, think about what submission means to you. Do you want to be involved in the encounters, or do you prefer to be excluded? Are you interested in post-encounter rituals like cleaning up or providing aftercare? Be clear about what you want and what feels right for you.
  2. The Dominant Partner:
    For the dominant partner, it’s about embracing your sexual freedom while being mindful of your partner’s feelings. What kind of partners are you interested in? How much involvement do you want from your cuckold partner? Make sure you communicate your desires and set the boundaries that work for you.
  3. Shared Responsibilities:
    Decide together who will do what. Maybe the cuckold partner will take on the role of finding suitable partners, based on the dominant partner’s preferences. You’ll also want to discuss how to maintain your emotional connection, making sure your relationship remains strong outside of the cuckold dynamic.
  4. Documentation:
    Setting aside time to discuss the specifics of the dynamic including things that you may or may not have considered is key. Leverage people who are experienced in the dynamic you choose to ensure that you don't experience the same pitfalls as others. Having a detailed document to refer back to is key in dealing with arguments and hurt feelings. I've prepared such an agreement below, feel free to use it as it is or change it to suit the needs of your own unique relationship.
Cuckold Relationship AgreementDownload
Sex Hack: The Relationship Sexual Cycle Rewired

Sex Hack: The Relationship Sexual Cycle Rewired

This is part two of a series about the relationship sexual cycle. If you haven't already read my explanation of the relationship sexual cycle in part one, please take a moment to do so now. I'll do my best to make this one stand on its own but some of the concepts might make more sense if you frame them up first.

Great sex actually has nothing to do with a great relationship, you first need to separate the idea that those two things should go hand in hand. You CAN have a wonderful but sexless relationship and yes this includes romantic relationships as well. Can your needs be met with a sexless but highly emotionally connected relationship? This is a highly personal decision and may change at various points throughout your life.

If you find someone that you are highly sexually connected to, that absolutely doesn't mean they are relationship material. Have you felt sexual chemistry with someone that you knew was completely wrong for you? We all have! The bad boy, the hot nerdy guy; yep those are the boys I am talking about. Different people stimulate different parts of our brain and you need to separate the idea that everyone can be everything for you. It simply isn't true and it isn't fair to you or the people in your life to have that expectation.

On the flip side, a great relationship doesn't mean great sex. Have you ever been with a highly connected partner but lose sexual interest? This is especially true with long term relationships. The relationship needs of humans care about two things, arousal and safety. If you have pure arousal then you will likely have little support. If you have pure support, you will likely have very little arousal. These things don't go hand in hand.

Let's begin with desire. There are two types; responsive desire and spontaneous desire. Spontaneous desire is the lustful desire where you have sexual chemistry and cannot keep your hands off someone. Responsive desire is about showing up and putting yourself in sexual situations with someone who you have a responsive conditioning with. Responsive desire is built upon friendship and trust, two traits that are almost never associated with spontaneous desire. In fact, spontaneous desire is stifled by both friendship and trust. The video below does a great job of shining some light on the various types of desire.

How can I be a good husband to my wife?

How can I be a good husband to my wife?

The fact that you are even asking how you can be a better husband speaks volumes. In this blog you will find conventional wisdom supplemented some unconventional ways to be a better partner. Being the best husband is ultimately about waking up every morning and making a conscious decision to be a wonderful partner. The simple and continual desire to be better will almost guarantee your success. If you've been around the site a while, you know that most of my blogs are written to a woman who is trying to help her husband. This blog is different than most and is for husbands who want to be a better partner. Let's start by asking why. What about her makes you strive to do better; to be better? So let's get on to your question.

The fact that you are even trying shows that you have the desire to be a good husband. You have the desire to be a better partner. Let's talk about what most men want from a marriage. A best friend, an emotional safe space, respect, support, encouragement, vulnerability and physical intimacy. Guess what fellas, we want the exact same things! We mix the order up a bit and there is an interesting outlier in the list; respect. Not the Aretha Franklin song but feelings that your wife respects you. You earn her respect when you consistently consider and value her feelings. When you make time for her, introduce her to others, never hide things from her and you take care of yourself physically. The needs of men and women aren't that different really. There are many ways that we differ but

Where do we differ?

Men are problem solvers by nature and women often just want to be heard. Helping us solve our problems can actually seem unsupportive.

Courtship is that thing you did when you were getting to know her. You took her out to dinner, you held the door for her. She was the object of your affection and the center of your attention. During that time you would actively try to impress her with your jokes, conversational banter and skills.

I Got Skills Meme Napoleon Dynamite
Soaking: The Dock and Talk Approach

Soaking: The Dock and Talk Approach

In countless previous blogs, I've discussed the merits of separating sex from ejaculation. I've received comments that make it seem impossible but it really isn't that difficult. The problem is getting started and changing what you've taken for granted all of these years.

Soaking is an interesting concept of inserting a penis into a vagina and waiting until it gets flaccid or your bedroom pal needs to pull it out to prevent accidental spillage. So what do you do while you and your guy friend are all intertwined? You talk. You touch each other. You do everything aside from thrusting and poking and bouncing.

It really isn't that crazy. Talking is that thing the two of you did while you were getting to know each other and it really shouldn't be too much more awkward now that you are up in each other's personal space.

If your guy is new to the idea, talk about bills, chores or holiday plans to help keep his mind distracted. Start off slow and work your way to sexual or erotic conversation. If he is a seasoned pro, you can rub each other's shoulders and connect on a more sensual level.

The point is to feel the deep physical connection that PIV sex provides while working to separate the end-goal of ejaculation from sex. Sure, sex can end with ejaculation sometimes but it shouldn't be the expectation and his penile eruption shouldn't be the focus of your experience together.…

The Ideal Penis is… Locked!

The Ideal Penis is… Locked!

The ideal penis is a locked penis, for many reasons. The reason that you choose to lock him is going to be individual to your relationship. Ultimately the cage and accompanying key symbolize that the man is willing to hand over control for the very organ that defines him as a man. Handing over control can be an absolute mind fuck but the results speak for themselves.

Here are the top few benefits of chastity devices & orgasm control:

  • Appearance
    Sorry fellas, it just looks better
  • Balance
    Sexual balance in your relationship. - The sex barter system
  • Weight loss & Motivation
    Tremendous amounts of energy and motivation.
  • Masturbation habits
    Alter habits that are detrimental to intimacy in the relationship.
  • Mental Benefits
    Chastity has gives control of the physical penis but so much of that is linked to feelings and emotional wellness. Be careful because this can go either way.
  • Many more

...and now, here is a gallery of beautiful caged penises for your viewing pleasure. Most of these are from sheshowhimcaged on Tumblr but a few of them are submitted by members of this very site. I do not own or have rights to any of these images, if you see a picture that you recognize/own and would like me to take it down, please contact me and I'll be happy to remove it. If you would like to add one, please feel free to contact me.

Antisocial Distancing

Antisocial Distancing

Physical touch is very important to many of us and it seems that our society does our best to eliminate touch at every turn. Have you ever heard the term "I'm a hugger"? This typically means that the self admitted hugger knows that he or she recognizes the most love by physical contact.

Most adults simply don't touch each other and this is amplified by those living during a global pandemic where we live with the term "social distancing". It seems like it would be better named antisocial distancing.

In our oversexualized world, touch is oft equated with sex and it simply isn't true. While it is true that sex requires touch, it is not true that touch requires sex or even sexual intentions.

Physical touch is not satiated by regular sex, in fact human touch is more about touch that demonstrates care and affection. This is about touch as part of someone's non-romantic relationships. Think about your dentist, your co-workers and your friends. A huge hug would be looked at differently than buying them a gift or running an errand for them.

Romantic relationships seem to be the only way for people who best recognize love to get their fix. I personally feel that physical touch is essential for me to achieve a deep connection with anyone. You will find that many people frown on hugging your kids too long especially for you men. If your daughter's love language is physical touch, don't let society create a rift between you. Let me be the first to tell you, there is nothing more beautiful than a father who is not afraid to give his daughter a huge wonderful hug. Give her a spa night, do her hair, manicures, pedicures and even shoulder massages.

As a physical touch person, I want to question our western culture's view of touch and sex. It is no wonder that so many of us feel so empty and broken. When it comes to affection, many of us are strictly denied the language that we most fluently speak. I would argue that physical touch is a language in itself and simply another way of communicating. A gentle caress communicates love and affection while a slap across the cheek indicates anger. …

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