Let's first outline what denial is and why men find it exciting. Denial is the practice of refraining from sexual experiences or excitement. Pretty simple right? Denial is not having orgasm, so how on earth would he benefit sexually from being denied orgasm? Hold your horses, I'll get there.
See what I did in that last sentence? I denied you the response you thought you were entitled to and it made you ever-so-slightly frustrated. That slight frustration provoked an emotional response and now you want more than anything for me to tell you how men benefit by being denied orgasm. If I lead you on even more, you will eventually be so frustrated that you will simply accept any little tidbit of information I throw your way. Rest assured, dear reader that I won't make you wait any longer and I'll give you far more than a tidbit. ❤️
The common expectation is that Men want sex all the time and if they don't, something is broken in your relationship. That is a ton of pressure for men even though it may not be too far from the truth. Women on the other hand typically; but certainly not always have a lower sex drive while in long term monogamous relationships. Open that relationship up or provide some new and novel stimulation where she feels a burst of sexual energy and that dynamic flips almost immediately. Committed men in a sexual relationship accept the shift in sexual desire and rather than grow resentful of the sexual power dynamic in the relationship, they fetishize it. This means that their body accepts the relationship and female sexual control becomes something they crave. The fact that she controls the allocation of sex becomes arousing to him. The greater the disparity between his sex drive and hers, the more arousing her denial becomes.
So how does this even work? If I tell him that I don't want sex, does he instantly get an erection? Not, quite that simple. You have to tap deeper into his psyche. Good gosh, this sounds manipulative. Well, it is manipulative to a certain extent but you should be very open with your manipulation and understand that together you are manipulating his subconscious needs for the good of your relationship. There is little doubt that he knows that he has sexual needs and he has probably tried to explain his needs to you before. "I need sex X times per week", he might say. If he were closer in tune to his needs, he would know that he doesn't actually need sex a certain number of times per week; he needs to feel sexually desired at a regular frequency.
What orgasm denial does is make him feel constantly desired throughout the week and it adds an inherent value to his sexuality. We don't overly sexualize or objectify men in our society (even though we should) because male sex holds little value. If you want a boy and your flirt game is strong, there is little question that you can have him. For men, this isn't quite the case. Female sexuality has a greater inherent value and is more guarded and highly regarded. Chastity turns the tables on this and allows him to feel as like his sexuality is an object of value in your relationship. If someone feels valued in their relationship, they feel safe and accepted. Don't we all want to feel safe and accepted in our marriage or relationship?
If you think orgasm denial, you think of a chastity cage. I know that is where my mind goes too but it need not start there. Orgasm control within the confines of a relationship is about harnessing sexual energy. That could involve a chastity cage but it should start with adding a value to masturbation. How often does your husband masturbate? Do you even know? Do you care? If he masturbates, he will bug you about sex less so do your thing hubby. Am I right ladies? ? No. You are wrong and here is why.…
