A breakthrough in my wife’s thinking occurred when she got kinda mean and was super bitchy one day. I didn’t have a bad reaction at all and simply doubled down on my love for her. I could feel the guilt being lifted off her as she realized that I liked it when she was bossy.
You ... my friend ... have evolved (see what I did there?) into a FLR/WLM savant. This is the best, most articulate, and easy-to-understand explanation of how a practicable Wife-Led Marriage can work.
That is very high praise, indeed, coming from you @subhubphx becuase I think you are the guru. FLRs clearly come in a shapes and sizes, but it is great to have regular contact with a man who, with his wife (like me and my wife), sees the epitome of an FLR as a relationship that exists to promote the greatest possible intimacy and bonding between the partners, and specifically refuses to accept that humiliation or degradation of a partner can ever be a good thing. I think we agree that humiliation/degradation necessarily lead to resentment and resestment necessary leads to distancing and the destruction of intimacy.
I have to admit that to a very large extent, I think that the fact that there has to be so many repetitions and redistillations of the theory that embracing one's inferiority, inability to satisfy, inadequacy, and accepting the consequent humiliation of life partner who insists on pointing out the supposed inadequacy, indicates that the argument is very weak fromt he get-go.
As Shakespeare said, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks." Makes me think those who in post after post after post have to justify the "healthiness" of creating distance in their most imporatant relationship and humiliating the person they love, really know that they are fundamentally harming their relationship and their partner.
In my opinion, we are uplifted by uplifting others and no one is ever built-up by tearing down another.
Very well said ... again! You lawyers are pretty good at saying things well.
I am not sure if there is a causal relationship, and if so, which one is the result of the other, but over the past few months my wife’s dominant role in our FLR has kicked up more than a few notches. Acting on her dominance has started to become more second nature to my wife. During that same period, she has gone from resistant to having me wear a chastity device, to enthusiastic about ordering me to lock up. I am locked in the cage about 50% of the time these days.
Coincidentally, my wife and I have just moved into a new home. It is more house than we’ve ever had, and more land than we know what to do with. The home is situated between an open meadow in the front and many acres of forest in the rear. Some people would call it an estate. It is the kind of place that feels like a setting for something bigger, and my wife feels it, too. The timing of the move is perfectly aligned with her blossoming comfort with her unapologetically dominant role in our FLR. I have been vocal about calling it her home and encouraging her to make a clean break from the inhibitions and social conditioning that have restrained her in other homes. I am doing everything I can to affirm her dominance in this new domain from the very beginning.
My wife decided that the property should have a name. I immediately stated that, as the “Mistress of the Manor,” she should choose the name. There was no push back whatsoever, but she did consult me for ideas. I asked her to list some of the themes and values she wanted the property to represent and with them in hand I asked AI make some suggestions. After several days of considering options and weighing alternative, she settled on a name: Lockleigh.
There was no vote. No debate. She decided. And the name suits her—elegant, grounded, quietly powerful. To her the name evokes ideas of a secure retreat from the harsh world that is nestled in verdant nature. But, most importantly, the name secretly represents the natural order of things: I am under her complete control in this place where my manhood is literally under lock and key. That's not conjecure on my part. That is why she said she chose the name.
To underscore my support of her fully embracing her dominance, I began looking for companies to manufacture a cast-metal, in-ground, entrance sign for the property. I designed a symbol to go over the name. The symbol is an old-fashioned skeleton key with a heart shaped handle (bow) and for the lever end I employed the first letter of her first name, “E,” turned on its side. The key represents security and love, but the part that controls the lock is simply her. I did all of this work secretly as a surprise for my wife. With it, we will be hiding in plain sight, because it looks like a perfectly normal skeleton key to any stranger.
As coincidence would have it, I found the company, approved the mock-ups, and ordered the sign for the entranceway to the home yesterday morning. Last night while we were relaxing in bed, I was naked from the waist down, as usual, (wearing only my chastity cage and one of my FLR t-shirts) and she had her head on my shoulder.
Out of nowhere, she mused, “We should have a sign with the name Lockleigh on it installed at the entrance.”
I quickly replied, “That’s a great idea,” and changed the subject.
It will take 4 or 5 weeks for the sign to be manufactured. I can’t wait to have it installed and see she her surprise when drives up to it the first time.
So good to hear from you old friend. Congratulations on your new place (Manor). It sounds awfully exciting and beautiful. Perhaps the surroundings offer opportunities for ritualistic activities and play outside, which is always amazing.
I've mentioned in the past that the path of your Mistress Wife is very similar to the path taken by my beautiful Mistress Wife when it comes to chastity. I smiled a little, knowing that you have progressed from wearing only the ring occasionally to wearing the cage 50% of the time. If you continue on the trajectory, it won't be too long until you are expected, as a default, to be caged at all times until and unless your Mistress says otherwise ... like me. To the uninitiated, it can seem daunting and awful. I assure you, it is not. It is a blissful existence.
Another quick example of my wife embracing her dominance.
Yesterday, my wife and I flew from Dulles International Airport to a business meeting in Florida. I have been locked in chastity for several days. She decided that I would wear my chastity device through TSA screening.
For her, I cannot even conceive that she would have considered doing this even six months ago. Yesterday, she made the choice without hesitation. She knows, because I am a lawyer, that even if I were taken for a private pat down and screening that I would be able to defend myself. She did ask me if they could make me remove and discard the cage (it wasn’t cheap). I told her that it was conceivable that they could ask me to remove it to be certain that it wasn’t a danger, but once it was clear that it wasn’t they could not force me to discard it. She may enjoy her dominance, but she's not about to waste money.
For me, I was not the least bit intimidated or humiliated. I am proud of my devotion to my wife, and I wouldn’t hesitate to unapologetically explain that I was comfortable in the cage and wearing it consensually. It is their job to make sure the planes are safe. If it my job to be devoted to my wife and serve her. Both things can happen at the same time.
Dulles can be a crazy busy airport, so we did arrive a little early just in case I would have to leave the screening area with an agent for a private inspection. We have TSA PreCheck, so the line at security was shorter than at the usual cattle pen. She went through the scanner first and waited for me on the other side with her hand on her hip. I walked through with my cage in place. She had her eyes on me the whole time with a knowing smile on her face. Not only was it not humiliating, it was a little bit arousing (one can only get so aroused in a cage) seeing her revel in her dominance.
No alarms. No incident. No pat down. No private inspection. The woman agent just said, “You’re good.” And off we went.
I was released from the cage tonight because my wife wanted to play with her property. She hasn’t told me yet if I’ll be wearing it tomorrow when we go through security in Orlando.
Not only was it not humiliating, it was a little bit arousing (one can only get so aroused in a cage) seeing her revel in her dominance.
I had a similar, but different experience. Similar in that, I had to go through a metal detector at a Courthouse. It was different because I had forgotten to ask for permission to remove it before we went there, so I was still wearing it. I realized that I was still wearing it as I was standing in line to go through. There was no turning back. I would've had to go back home to get the key. There just wasn't time. I set the detector off, so I had to be wanded by a deputy. As the wand squeaked only around my groin, he asked if I had keys in my pocket. I had no other choice than to come clean about what it was. I whispered to him what it was. He replied, "huh?". I repeated it and pulled back a little, looked at me, very lightly tapped the wand against the tip of the cage, winked and smiled, and said "ok then. Off you go".
Like you, I was not at all humiliated in the least bit. Also like you, I was a tiny bit aroused because now there was someone other than my Wife and I that knew I was wearing a cage. Oh, I was at the courthouse for a wedding, and no, I wasn't on trial or anything like that.
This morning we were up early to pack, check out of the hotel, check in to our flight, and get to a breakfast meeting before our first business session. Lots to do in a short period of time. So instead of waiting for her to issue her command of the day (which can come at any time), I just asked, “Would you like me locked today, Mistress?”
“Absolutely,” she replied. There is was. Not only no hesitation, she said it with enthusiasm. She had obviously already made the decision. So I showered and relocked.
So, our program has ended and we just completed the screening process here at Orlando. No alarm. No pat-down. Funny thing is, I got through security faster wearing a chastity cage than my wife did with contact lens solution!
Looks like a Kink3D Nano with a brass barrel lock is not a problem.
Those who have read the story of my FLR journey with my wife, know that I am a lawyer who committed to a formal FLR three and a half years ago. After more than three years of hesitation, my wife started locking me in chastity in March of this year. She has really taken to it and finds it very empowering. Several weeks ago she decided to send me through TSA screening at Washington-Dulles when we were traveling for a business trip. Three days later, she sent me back through TSA in Orlando while wearing my cage. I made it through both safely.
We wife’s use of the chastity cage is starting to follow a pattern. During the week when we are both busy, she likes to order me into the cage because she knows it will maintain a special connection between us when we are both busy. On the weekends, when it is easier for her to control me and my bits and pieces, she tends to release me from the cage.
This week, first thing on Monday morning, she ordered me to lock up. I remained in the cage the entire business week. The twist came about because I had two court appearances on important cases on Friday. On Thursday night, I began to wonder if she was going to release me or if she intended to have me go through the extremely tight security at the courthouse wearing my cage.
She did not mention it. I briefly thought about confirming her intentions, but decided not to because I thought it would be disrespectful to her authority. We showered and dressed together on Friday morning and she didn’t say anything then either, so I presumed she knew exactly what she was doing and didn’t feel the need to explain herself.
So, off to court I went with a professional suit and tie over top and a Kink3D N underneath.
Pockets must be emptied and belts removed before you go through the scanner. But, even though I did all that, the alarm sounded when I went through. I quickly said, “I bet it doesn’t like my artificial knee.” I was waved over to the side for them to do a hand inspection with the wand. While the wand did go off when it was near my knee, but it was silent when the security agent passed it over my groin.
Once I was through security, I sent my wife a text that I got through security without a problem and that I had her on my mind the whole time. “Ha,” she responded. “I wonder why? ;-)” was her response.
After several years of hesitation (due to her conditioning and her stubborn belief that it would be unbearably uncomfortable for me), my wife started putting me in chastity about 5 months ago. She eased into it and chose a relatively subdued black cage for me to wear. She has become very comfortable with it and my lock up time is increasing to the point that over the last month I have been locked almost 60% of the time. When we are at home alone, I am always naked from the waist down to demonstrate my submission. So, most of the time we are alone my caged penis is on display. As we both desired, my wife finds it empowering to order me to lock up. It is basically the new normal for us.
Not only has it become normal, we are both becoming playful about it. For example, we recently moved to a new house. During the move, I came across a large, cylindrical, antique bird cage that my wife purchased years ago. It has a classic wire design with a domed top and is about three feet tall. Completely unrelated to the cage, my wife decided to prominently place a large painted metal rooster that she purchased at a craft fair last year by the fireplace in our new family room. Around this same time, I came across a chastity-themed tee shirt on the Internet. There were no words on the tee shirt, but there was a picture of a large rooster (cock) in a metal cage exactly like my wife’s. An idea clicked in my head and I purchased the tee shirt.
A few days later, when my wife came home from work, I was waiting at the door wearing nothing but my new tee shirt and my chastity cage (I’d been locked for about a week). I was holding her bird cage with the two-foot tall cock inside. She came through the door and it took a couple of seconds for her to put it all together. She almost doubled over with laughter. She enjoyed the joke so much that she left the rooster in the cage by the fireplace for about two weeks before she said she felt sorry for the rooster and let him out of the cage. She smiled knowingly as she announced his (but not my) freedom.
It was my wife’s time to be playful this morning. I was standing naked by the shower, wearing only my black Kink3D Cobra chastity cage, while she was at the mirror putting in her contacts. Being conversational, I nodded down at the cage and asked, “Wouldn’t you like something more colorful, like a blue cage instead?”
Her initial reaction was to shrug the suggestion off as if it didn’t matter. Then suddenly, her face brightened and she exclaimed, “Oh, yes! I’d like hot pink!”
She doesn’t know it, but they make the Cobra in hot pink. I placed an order for one as soon as I got to my office. Her wish is my command. She was just having fun, but I hope locking me in something more “flashy” will increase her feelings of empowerment.
Well done, my friend. Glad to see you are enjoying your cage time. I think this has inspired me to look into one of these Cobra cages. I'm currently wearing a Mature Metal Jail Bird, which is stainless steel and wonderful. I'm going to suggest, then ask permission to purchase one of these and see what all the fuss is about. It will be interesting to see what color Ms. K. selects.
Congratulations on the new house. Here's to many wonderful years and memories.
I'm currently wearing a Mature Metal Jail Bird, which is stainless steel and wonderful. I'm going to suggest, then ask permission to purchase one of these and see what all the fuss is about.
I think you know that before my wife decided to embrace keeping me in chastity, when we were apart from each other for trips, she would allow me to wear a ball-trap device made by Mature Metal that they call their "rings of commitment." The device is basically the Jail Bird without the cage attached to the front ring. I have to say that the Cobra "N" that I now wear is substantially lighter and more comfortable than the metal rings.
And thanks for the good wishes!
A little context: My wife and I have been in a formal Female‑Led Relationship for about three and a half years. Over that same arc, her comfort with leaning into her power an authority as the Dominant in our relationship has steadily increased. The story for her has been one of embracing the true self she had been conditioned to deny. In our latest evolution of our FLR, we look for ways to normalize her dominance and my submission so that it becomes more natural and second nature. Her decision about six months ago, to begin locking me in chastity, has markedly increased her routine exercise of calm, unapologetic authority. With her increasing comfort with acting on her natural dominant nature, I have felt a concurrent deepening of my submission.
I knew that being locked up (now about 60% of the time overall, sometimes for more than a week at a time) would enhance my feelings of submission, but I didn’t expect that the effect would be so profound. I think it is because the cage serves as a continuous reinforcement of my submissive role in our dynamic.
As a consequence, about 10 or 11 weeks ago, I started feeling an overwhelming need to demonstrate my submission by consuming my ejaculate if she should see fit to give me permission to have a release. Since that time, whenever she permits me to climax on her body, I quietly handle all cleanup with my mouth—no requests and no explanations. This usually happens because she has instructed me to jerk off for her pleasure and if she decides to give me permission to cum, she generally instructs me to cum on her body so she can enjoy the sensation of the splash of my semen across her skin. I simply cleanup, because it’s the right conclusion to a moment that was hers from start to finish. It is my way of reinforcing that even when she might expect that I have “post-nut clarity,” I am so committed in my submission that I will go out of my way to demonstrate it even when my brain is no longer marinating in chemicals because of intense arousal.
It is not about humiliation. It is about re-grounding us and reconfirming the fundamental truth our relationship. Her dominance and my submission are 24/7, not just when we aroused.
The first time I did it, I wondered if she would react. She didn’t. The second time, again nothing—no praise, no reprimand. Just acceptance. She has never said a word, but she will turn her body to make sure that I can clean up every drop. In our dynamic, that silence says everything. Her lack of comment communicates more power than a paragraph ever could. She neither made it about her, nor turned it into a ritual I had to earn. She let the act belong to my submission—and that is exactly where it belongs.
There has been another small surprise, too. I don’t mind the taste in the slightest. There has to be something psychological about it because I have tasted my semen before when I forced myself and didn’t like it. Now, I actually enjoy the taste and experience.
Some might ask: “But doesn’t she need to tell you to do it?” In our world, the answer is no. Her silence is a kind of standing order. It is like doing the laundry, or dishes, or greeting her at the door with a glass of champagne. I know my role. If she wants something different, she will say so. In fact, she has once: After I started my cleanup, she told me she wanted to wear my semen on her body for the day. I stopped immediately, of course—because her word ends the debate. The key point is that there’s no anxiety around it. I don’t perform to get a reaction; I serve to remove one more task from her plate and reassure her of my devotion as her submissive at all times.
I am rarely permitted to cum inside her when we have PIV sex. The next time I am allowed this, however, I will proceed to consume my ejaculate from her pussy. I am excited to see how she responds. Will she simply permit me to show my submission, or will she find it arousing and want me to use my tongue to give her another orgasm? It may be a few months before I get the opportunity. But I will report back.
I knew that being locked up (now about 60% of the time overall, sometimes for more than a week at a time) would enhance my feelings of submission, but I didn’t expect that the effect would be so profound. I think it is because the cage serves as a continuous reinforcement of my submissive role in our dynamic.
This is precisely what happened to us. The cage was a game changer.