Our FLR results in a different take on “Date Night.” Our focus goes beyond simply making sure we time for each other. We agree that it is important to be intentional in tending our relationship. But, we actually do several different things, each with a separate purpose. Three out of four are directly for us and the fourth is indirectly for us.
1. Tending to our relationship.
2. Tending to our souls.
3. Tending to our romance.
4. Tending to family.
We are in our early sixties. The youngest of our four kids is 27. Three out of four are married. So the nest is long empty. this definitely makes things easier.
Tending to our relationship. My wife chooses one weekend morning in advance for our FLR check in. She stays in bed while I bring a tray with coffee, Baileys Irish Cream, and often a Mimosa (if she is inclined) to the bedroom. We snuggle and have a talk our the status of our FLR. The conversation is free flowing, but always has two consistent agenda items; first, review the previous week by both of us, specifically from the perspective of our FLR, and second, what can I do to in the future to make my wife’s life more extraordinary or improve the FLR.
‘Tending to our souls. We set aside one night each work week where we leave the office by five and spend the evening together where we focus on my service to her. I remain naked from the waist down (she often joins me by doing the same). So, we call it “no-pants Wednesday.” Kids, friends, work, are not allowed to interfere. This is not a “date night.” It is a night of complete focus on her and her leisure. The night rarely ends with us having sex, but often ends with me “sending her off to sleep” with an orgasm or two. After she has come, I will pull her into a full embrace, with her head on my shoulder, and she will drift off to sleep.
‘Tending to our romance. This happens pretty organically and may even happen more than once a week. We might go see my son, the opera/jazz singer perform, hit a local brewery or winery, or go out for dinner to a restaurant that my wife likes. Most people would call this “date night.”
‘tending to Family. I have a 30 year old son with Autism. My wife has a quadriplegic brother who lives with her 91 year old mother. We coordinate a single time that we both use to check in with these special people. Doing this at the same time avoids us taking more time away from each other.
The first two are events that are formally established in our FLR contract. The second two just happen in the natural flow.
She sent a zing through my body.
Those who have been following my journey, as I have shared it here, know that prior to our relationship my girlfriend/fiancé/now-wife was very much operating under the conditioning and inhibitions imposed upon her by her Catholic mother and very traditional ex-husband. Our journey is, at its core, the story of her confrontation of that unnatural conditioning and those destructive, and self-diminishing, inhibitions and me embracing the fact that submitting to her dominance has allowed my liberation from the overwhelming stress of my life, by day, as an “alpha male.”
Our evolution has been exciting and remarkable. At a pace that has been comfortable to her, we have progressed to the point that we have an FLR that is formal and openly acknowledged. We hide in plain sight, answering direct questions from friends and strangers with complete, but non-graphic, honesty. If asked, we honestly answer that I am in charge at work (where I am the lawyer and the owner of the law firm) and she is in charge everywhere else. We never involuntarily subject third parties to our dynamic, and even when asked, we use accurate, gut non-sexual language to describe our relationship. We even publicly hint at the nature of our relationship with the license plates on our cars. And we have signed a written FLR contract.
But, no doubt, resisting 60 years of destructive conditioning, is always the biggest challenge for my wife. As a consequence, for the last couple of years, her New Year’s resolution for each year has been to “lean into” her dominance in our FLR.
In truth, I cannot deny that she has entirely accepted her dominance and her role in our FLR. But she is very compassionate and loving in the way she implements her FLR. Her blossoming has really been the realization of a fantasy to me. But sometimes, I cannot believe that it is actually true.
Any doubt is purely in my own mind and clearly reflects my own insecurities that I could truly have found a naturally dominant woman who actually thrives on having a submissive man as her husband. It is actually pretty funny that even though I am the one who showed her the way to an FLR, she has truly and fully accepted it before me.
I am truly committed to our FLR and I live it 24/7/365. I just saying that I am living such a fantasy life that there is still 1% that thinks it must be a dream.
And then she does, or says, something that gives me a bracing reality check. And when it happens it is exhilarating.
Last Saturday, we were in the car on the way to our club to hit the gym and go shooting. We were talking about the things that wanted to get done over the weekend. She was sharing her plan for what we were going to do on Saturday and what we would do on Sunday.
She explained that we needed to get a number of things accomplished on Saturday, because “you’ll be servicing me most of tomorrow.”
She was referring to decisions she had made in our weekly FLR meeting that we had that morning. After we reviewed the FLR week that had just ended, we discussed, as we always do, how I can make her FLR better the next week. She listed the things that she would like.
When she referenced that I would be “servicing” her, here is what she told me she would like me to do for her on Sunday: I would start that day by serving her Mimosas and coffee in bed, then I would worship her pussy (and make love to her in any other way she would like) until she was satisfied, then I would be trimming her pussy hair before giving her a pedicure. In the evening, I would then be making her dinner (it was unnecessary to say that I would be cleaning up afterward) and we would be watching “Lioness,” a TV show she is currently enjoying.
I guess that point is that when we have our weekly FLR meetings, I am always in sub-space. Once we get back into our routine, I shift into a more “normal” mode. But, when she so matter-of-factly referred to the simple fact that I would be spending most of the next day “servicing” her, I was transported back to sub-space instantly. I think that is the fastest I have ever gone from “real world” to “sub-space.” The best word I can think of to describe it is “delicious.”