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spinpole2001
(@spinpole2001)
Trusted Member

Well I finally screwed up the courage to talk to my wife about orgasm control. I told her I was working on reducing my masturbation habits as they were getting a bit out of control. I told I was trying to stop because I felt it reduced my focus on her wants and needs. She told me that was ok, as she knows we both masturbate. I did tell her I was pretty sure I was way more active than I should be and i wanted to do this for us and our relationship. I told her I didn't want my focus to be about my own selfish needs and I want to place our sex life front and center in my mind. I told her I was gonna try to and do this with out any help but if I was having any issue I would consider a chastity device if I felt it would help. She was surprised by that statement and told me she didn't think iIwould need that but I wanted her to know I was serious. I was very nervous to bringing this up with her, which is a weird  thing to say after 20 yrs of marriage . I guess we can all work on communication skills lol. So here I am six days later, successful so far but requiring a lot more self restraint than I thought I had. Life is a journey!

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Posted : 10/11/2019 12:31 pm
Emma
 Emma
(@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j)
Member Admin

How did she receive it? Does she want to take an active role in your orgasm control or is this something that she would rather you do on your own? Do you want her to take a role in your orgasm control or are you thinking of going the nofap route?

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Posted : 10/11/2019 7:01 pm
Buellford liked
jd
 jd
(@jd)
Active Member

Spinpole, 

First one to post in the Journey section. My hat is off to you! Congratulations on taking the plunge. 

from the sidelines, 

JD

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Posted : 10/11/2019 11:26 pm
spinpole2001
(@spinpole2001)
Trusted Member

@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j

Emma,  the better half seemed a bit unsure about the whole thing and I think for no she going  be a curious watcher of the whole exercise. Hopefully as she sees a positive change in me and some benefits for her maybe she'll be come a more active participant. But Rome wasn't built in a day. Right now I'm going to start by trying to go no fap for at least 2 weeks and we'll see how that goes. #nofapjourney

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Posted : 11/11/2019 1:54 am
Buellford liked
spinpole2001
(@spinpole2001)
Trusted Member
Posted by: @jd

Spinpole, 

First one to post in the Journey section. My hat is off to you! Congratulations on taking the plunge. 

from the sidelines, 

JD

Thanks JD,as someone who was on the sidelines until 6 days ago I can't really say I'm in the game just maybe about 1 foot onto the field! LOL

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Posted : 11/11/2019 1:56 am
jc5200
(@jc5200)
Active Member

Great job, Spinpole! Keep going, treat her as your queen and keep communicating. Excited to hear how things progress.

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Posted : 11/11/2019 1:21 pm
 Anonymous

Spinpole, My wife thought is was pretty strange when I introduced the idea of a chastity device.  To this day she does not want me to wear a chastity device.  She thinks it's not healthy and that's that.  It wasn't until much later that she learned to enjoy the orgasm denial (see my orgasm denial post).  Now she is 100% into it but it has to be the honor system which I am good at.  I am not disappointed that I don't wear a chastity device.  I like wearing tight jeans and small bikinis and don't really want to wear them.  I introduced the idea to my wife to try and spice things up and I wanted her to care if I masturbated or not. 

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Posted : 29/12/2019 7:29 pm
Russ195
(@russ195)
Active Member

My was the same way, she thought I was crazy, but said she would give it a try. I actually found I enjoy being locked and after a while, she saw some benefits from it. I started off 1/2 day, 1 day, 2 days etc. until I worked up to 2 weeks. I am not locked all the time, but occasionally we do 2 full weeks at a time. I was like you, I wanted my wife to care if I masturbated or not. Now, I never do it without her knowledge and permission, which she says she does like. We started playing with chastity about 5 years ago and I stopped masturbating without permission 2 or 3 years ago. I used to do it 3 or 4 times a week, now, much less whether I am locked or not.

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Posted : 06/06/2020 1:31 pm
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