As 2025 winds down, I want to be real with you before I start talking about what next year will bring. December did not end the way I planned. Instead of pouring my energy into writing, connecting, and creating the kind of content I love, I was knee-deep in damage control. Earlier this month, my site went down in a major way and what should have been a routine restore turned into a lesson in misplaced trust.
I don’t want to dwell on the negative but here’s the short version. I was my web hosting company Hostinger for daily backups. Turns out… they weren’t actually backing anything up. When their server failed and I needed those backups most, they simply didn’t exist. I do most of my work on Google sheets so I can work offline so I had outlines and notes for a few of the blogs that needed to be recreated but weeks of stress followed, rebuilding, restoring what I could. I am committed to keeping the site alive instead of letting it grow. To say that it is a huge bummer doesn’t quite cover it. And yes—before you ask—it burned me out a bit. I won’t sugarcoat that.
I’m choosing to see it as a hard but necessary learning experience. Multiple backups. Redundancies. Never trusting the future of my work to a big company that sees customers as ticket numbers instead of humans. What stings is that Hostinger refuses to refund the backup service they didn’t actually provide. Even better? I’m prepaid for another year, so jumping ship right now isn’t an option without yet another disruptive move. That part still makes my eye twitch.
A large number of my supporters chose to discontinue their support of the site and honestly, I don’t blame you because I felt like I let you down. When the site went dark, it wasn’t just content that disappeared, it was the sense of community we’d been building together. Restoring the site was well beyond my skillset, which meant hiring a programmer to step in and save it. He wasn’t cheap but he did save the site and I’m deeply grateful he got the core of the site back online. At this point, I couldn’t afford to restore the forums, which was a painful call to make. It was one of those moments where my passion met real-world limits, and I had to choose survival over perfection.
But if there’s one thing this year reinforced, it’s ownership, and taking control when something that matters to you is threatened. So before I dive into the wins, the growth, the erotic evolution, and where Evolving Your Man is headed next year, I wanted you to know what this ending really looked like behind the scenes. Messy, frustrating… and ultimately clarifying.
In the spirit of transparency, I’ll lay it all out there for you because after it is readers like you that make this site what is is. As of this writing on December 31st, the site had 4.1 million views, 10 million blogs were read so far this year and if my math is correct, that’s about two and a half blogs per visitor to the site. I think that’s pretty amazing. In terms of active users, there are about 340k of you and I appreciate each and every one of you.
As you can see from the graphs, there is a massive dip at the end of the year as the site went down and so did the search engine ranking. I turned off summary emails and also stopped posting past blogs on social media.
I’ve always been an open book here, and that’s not changing anytime soon. If you’re curious about site stats or any of the nerdy backend stuff, I’m genuinely happy to share what I can. From what I’m seeing, things are slowly but steadily coming back, which is reassuring after a pretty shaky few weeks. That said, I do need to make some intentional decisions about what the blog looks like going forward. One interesting suggestion that came up was starting completely fresh with a brand-new forum on a different platform. I won’t lie, the idea of starting over doesn’t exactly thrill me, but I do like the opportunity to move to something newer, cleaner, and more future-proof if I’m going to rebuild anything at all.
I also briefly flirted with the idea of moving the content to a platform like Medium.com, but their content policy wouldn’t have worked with the content of my site. It is surprisingly difficult to find mainstream sites whose policies genuinely support sexual content without constant fear of moderation. Independence and free thought matter to me even when it’s more difficult. As many of you remember, I removed ads from the site in 2024, and I’m going to wait as long as I reasonably can before bringing them back. They cluttered the reading experience, pulled focus from the writing, and honestly made the site harder to take seriously. When you’re trying to have thoughtful conversations about relationships and power dynamics, it feels off to do it with flashing dildos on one side and “single moms in your area” on the other. This space has always been about depth, reflection, and real dialogue, and for now, keeping it clean and readable matters more to me than trying to get a few dollars from ads.
One change that is happening, I’m setting up a secondary backup server so this never puts me in that kind of vulnerable position again. My programmer is handling the second server setup, and honestly… these are things I should have done a long time ago. When I zoom out, going from four visits a year in 2018 to four million visits a year in 2025 is mind-blowing. I don’t take that lightly for a second. Thank you for reading, for commenting, for sharing, and especially for those of you who continued to support me even when the site stumbled. That loyalty to a random blogger means more to me than I can properly put into words. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here as long as you want me, sharing my ideas, my life, my curiosity, and my ongoing journey into modern marriage dynamics… and whatever deliciously unexpected chapter comes next.
With over 900 published blogs live and more than 700 drafts sitting patiently in the wings, there’s truly no end in sight, I’m not running out of things to say anytime soon. We’ll cross the 1,000‑blog milestone within the next few months. With that said, I want to set expectations honestly – I won’t be posting much in January while I focus on making sure the site is stable, secure, and built to last for the long haul. Take a month to catch up on some old blogs that you may have missed, I’ll be posting some oldies but goodies on Twitter/X and BlueSky. I’d love your thoughts in the comments about how to move forward with the site and with the forum. Should we start fresh on a new forum platform, or when I can afford it, should I have the programmer make an attempt of restoring an older backup? I have a strong hunch the old forum platform itself contributed to some of the site issues in the first place.
Going forward, I’m making a very intentional effort to protect my energy. I don’t want to dwell on what went wrong but I do want to learn from them and move forward smarter. I’m choosing to harness the positive momentum instead of letting frustration pull me into those heavy, borderline depressive days that can sneak up when something you love gets shaken. My therapist actually helped me name something important here, this site is a major source of my positive energy. Writing, sharing, and connecting with each of you gives me a sense of being part of something bigger than just myself. A very real purpose beyond my own head, caring for Bella, my wonderful marriage and my amazing boyfriend. That perspective matters. So I’m recommitting to the joy of creation, to curiosity over resentment, and to letting this space continue to fuel me rather than drain me.
Your feedback matters here more than ever. Thank you for sticking around, for your patience, and for believing in this little space. I’m already looking forward to an incredible 2026 with you. So lock up those chastity cages and hold on tight… it’s going to be a great year.
