About Him · Blog

What Motivates Him?

Let’s talk about motivation. A typical man’s sexual energy is very closely linked to his desire to please you. That may seem odd but men in fact are hard wired to derive pleasure when you are happy and content. When there is conflict or unrest, they will do their best to resolve the conflict and get back to a state of calm.

Helping him control his orgasms builds up that sexual energy and keeps him focused on pleasing you. Once he has reached orgasm, he loses his focus and it may take several days to get him back into the zone. With Kev, I have found that it takes about three days to rebuild his energy and refocus on me. Assuming Kevin is wired the same as every other guy and knowing that no two humans are alike, the answer will vary but it might not be all that different. It takes three days to build that focus, how long can you keep him focused?

It seems like a month would be about the longest that you want to go, at least in my experience. After the first couple days, his interest focuses directly on you. His attention shifts from the tv or his phone to you. He is magnetically drawn to you, massages and other touching seems to amplify. After the first week, it does start to taper and even decrease unless you keep his attention and focus. I recommend that you come up with some sort of daily or nightly ritual to help keep him focused and keep his hormones flowing. We do nightly massages and I enjoy holding (cupping) his cage as we watch TV or spend time together. We also like spooning with him being a very frustrated “big spoon”. His twitching cage is a great reminder of the sacrifices that he is making for both of us.

By limiting his erections and orgasm, we have an enormous psychological impact on his arousal level. Assuming that you use a cage, his inability to get an erection or touch himself becomes his complete focus. For the first couple times that you lock him up, he will want to talk about it constantly. You will need to put an end to the constant conversation or you will grow weary and find yourself distancing yourself from him. I found myself literally moving to the other room.

The moral of the story is – lock it up and keep him teased. Frequent teasing will keep his hormonal attention pointed directly at you. When the attention becomes too much, redirect him with chores and other tasks to keep him productive around the house. Experiment with duration of lockup periods and indulge in his kinks to keep his hormonal drive very high. The higher the drive the more fun you will have.

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Russ195

“The moral of the story is – lock it up and keep him teased. Frequent teasing will keep his hormonal attention pointed directly at you. When the attention becomes too much, redirect him with chores and other tasks to keep him productive around the house.”

That is me exactly, I get way more done around the house and do more for my wife when I am locked up. Basically, by cutting down or eliminating male masturbation, you keep that hormone level high where you want to please your spouse more. I think as young men, most males masturbate a lot and want to continue that after marriage, but they are wasting their energy that could be used for their spouse.

I think the three day thing is right on too. For me, a release every week to two weeks is about right. It is not about eliminating orgasms, just reducing them.