So he put his willy in a little metal thing for a few days. Big deal. At the beginning of our journey, I didn’t really understand how big of a deal this was to him. As chastity has become a part of our every day life, I have developed a greater understanding for the power that it bestows upon me.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Spiderman
It is important for me to recognize that his pleasure and convenience does suffer for the good of our relationship. The frequency of his orgasms are decreased, he must sit to pee, nighttime erections are painful and we’ve even had to go to the extent of having a number system to rate how difficult of a time he is having.
There is little question that I’ve got the better end of the stick with our chosen kink. I get this fancy all-powerful-key to flaunt to him when chores need to be done, dogs walked, pussies eaten and breakfast made. He probably prefers one of those chores more than others, I know I do!
With that out of the way, us ladies don’t exactly have it made on our end, either. We must remember to tease him regularly and we’ve locked up something that most of us generally enjoy using. If we skimp on the teasing for a while, we risk an upset and resentful fella and that’s no fun. There’s no better recipe for resentment than a locked and forgotten guy.
While we can (and do) unlock it for the purpose of fornication frequently, we don’t actually need to unlock it.
Just because he is locked doesn’t mean that your fun has to suffer. In fact, you can satisfy your needs while adding to the essential teasing in your relationship. This loving torment can be both functional and fun for both of you. Sometimes seeing the unmistakable look of agonizing sexual frustration on his face can be reward enough. Other times we must invoke the groan of discomfort from an overstretched cage. A caged boyfriend standing at the side of his bed with his hands behind his back while you play (or pretend to play) with yourself is a thing of beauty.
I love pegging and pegging loves me, I think. I enjoy the power trip, the excitement, they swap of gender roles. I love how he becomes the receiver of my love and must accept me inside him. I love his careful movements and gentle whispers as I bend him over the bed. The sensuality that a man is capable of expressing is an incredible type of energy to receive, as a woman. Likewise, when men get in touch with this special part of their psyche they unlock a level of intimacy that is like no other.
When you absolutely, positively must have the penetration that you crave, remember that unlocking him isn’t a necessity. Chastity friendly strap-ons go over the cage and have a harness that fastens around the waist. They are very similar to your strap-on, in fact depending on the style of your kit, yours might fit just fine. It just needs to be open in the crotch area to allow his cage to fit comfortably below the dildo.
Obviously it can feel nice to feel a penis that is larger or more girthy than you are accustomed to. All the while, he can look down and see his pleasure piece locked up safely while he goes to town with a rubber penis that has absolutely zero feeling.
The frustrated look on his face when the visual feeling of penetration exists with the absence of sensation is like no other. It is always nice to play up the part a bit too although too much showmanship on your part may venture into the world of humiliation. But… you might be into that too.
Safety Reminder – Don’t use the same dildo that you use for pegging vaginally unless you wash thoroughly or use a condom. Porous surfaces can still cause nasty infections so I recommend an entirely different toy.
Whatever you do, have fun and be safe. The willingness of both of you to make a sacrifice is a wonderful testament to your relationship. There is little question that Kevin absolutely loves our relationship. How do I know? I ask him on a regular basis and we communicate our likes and dislikes. Keep your communication strong and enjoy each other.
If you enjoyed the images in this blog, please support the artist, he/she has some really cool stuff!
I don’t know about Kevin, but Martin leaks a lot when he’s been ‘doing’ me with the strap on. Sometimes I think he gets a little friction from his caged dick rubbing against the bed if we’re doing it in the missionary position or if I’m face down, but there’s usually quite a bit of of sticky stuff when I’m finished with him and he hasn’t orgasmed. That’s fun to poke my finger through the bars and play with that lubricant on his sensitive head.
Haha. Yeah I don’t know if it’s the friction or the mental denial but there is definitely a good bit of leaking going on.
Mental for me. The we have a panty style harness that keeps everything from moving around. There is no friction from that for me. It is difficult to not get aroused and leak hearing the woman you love obviously enjoying herself. I enjoy it because after the initial stage of attempted hard on it’s all mental and find myself more engrossed with her pleasure than mine.
And that is key. More engrossed with her pleasure than yours. It really does put you into a different head space. Doesn’t it?
Very much so. Occasionally it gets to the point where I feel the mental satisfaction level of having had full intercourse with release without having left my cage at all. The longest that feeling lasted was a day or so before it was back to even greater frustration.
I think I am just so satisfied with how well my wife is pleased that I can’t help but feel a sense of pride and accomplishment. I don’t know a better way to describe it than that.
“More engrossed with her pleasure than yours. It really does put you into a different head space. Doesn’t it?”
It absolutely does! It quite literally allows for her orgasms to become my orgasms, and more than adequately replaces the physical act of orgasm for me.
I was a bit worried towards the start of this post as you pointed out the difficulties of a male chastity lifestyle only to get to this line and be relieved, encouraged and proud of you again.
“Just because he is locked doesn’t mean that your fun has to suffer.”
Emma, you get male chastity and your authority/responsibility with it. When it is difficult and seems like a chore the answer is almost always more teasing for him and more pleasure for her. It’s a win-win when both are happening simultaneously! Great examples in this post which don’t involve removing his cage. Sometimes these forms of play work best when he is expecting to be unlocked as a way to help teach him his penis is not always necessary or important to you or to him. The goal is to get him to the point where he finds satisfaction and pleasure in bringing you immense pleasure. His penis is an irrelevant aside; it may be used or not used in the play session and he accepts that it doesn’t matter as his focus is on you. I love MARE’s artwork as well.
The sacrifices made by a caged man, or any orgasm controlled, semen retaining man, are logically obvious. Those sacrifices are a means to an end and those sacrifices soon turn into the cornerstone for the kind of love that is supremely satisfying for both people in that relationship. No question about that. Book it!
The sacrifices made by a woman that controls that man’s sex, orgasm, ejaculation, access to his penis are not logically obvious, but are absolutely essential to the success (or failure) of their relationship.
“….us ladies don’t exactly have it made on our end, either. We must remember to tease him regularly and we’ve locked up something that most of us generally enjoy using. If we skimp on the teasing for a while, we risk an upset and resentful fella and that’s no fun. There’s no better recipe for resentment than a locked and forgotten guy.
As a man that has lived an orgasm controlled/ejaculation controlled/access to my penis controlled marriage lifestyle for over 10 years, I am a living example of the beautiful benefits of the effects of my wife’s leadership and control of those things. I have been able to genuinely channel all of my sexual energy, my lust and desire into cherishing the woman I have always deeply loved in the forms worship and service which allows her to always experience the kind of deep pleasure (not just sexually) in her life that is envied by most married women. So I know!
When we began our journey there were bumps in the road that in the end allowed us to figure our own unique path. Until the ‘death due us part’ is realized, it will continue to be a journey. A journey we absolutely cherish. One of those bumps was the occasional, sometimes often negative feelings I would endure in feeling like I was locked and then forgotten. As if the mere act of prohibiting my sexual activities without her permission and supervision, in and of itself was the only thing necessary for our perceived happiness. I would get upset and resentful, which in turn would put the kind of undesirable pressure on her leadership that would cause her to be upset and resentful, and at times made her question whether or not the whole thing was worth it. We were lucky enough to discover that real and effective communication (there’s that word again) about how we felt/feel, allowed us to naturally find a balance that kept adding fuel to our fire. Instead of being on a negative cycle of feeling like … hey, ‘I need more attention (teasing and affection) over here’ … and ‘hey, I need more attention over here (acts of devotion and worship)’, Our communication allowed us to be on a positive cycle of knowing that you have to give those things to get those things. Sacrifice. The exchange of the essential needs between us began to feed on each other and our love affair has soared ever since. It’s not perfect, and there are times when there is imbalance, but all in all …. we are living our best lives as a two people madly in love.
For my wife’s part, I truly do appreciate the sacrifices and efforts she made in order to be able to effectively be the leader in our marriage. When she discovered that the efforts and sacrifices in the form of teasing, sexual control, doling out punishments to correct behavior, etc., were not her being mean to me, but rather a means to a beautiful and loving end, our love and marriage grew to fairy tale levels.
Both parties clearly make sacrifices in this beautiful existence of Female Led Relationships. Without them, it probably ends up being a relationship where one party (usually the woman) is not much more than a fetish peddler to the other party (usually the man).
Thank you Emma for another excellent blog.
Oh and btw, thanks for the super hot video example of the Chastity friendly strap-ons