Ladies, let’s talk about something most of us will face at some point: menopause. I’m not there yet, but like many of you, I’ve already started thinking about how this next phase of life will impact me—especially when it comes to sex and relationships. As you all know, I'm a big nerd but I am also genuinely curious about the changes that I can anticipate in the next few years. One surprising thing that tends to happen as we approach menopause is that many women begin to lose interest in their long-term partners, while suddenly experiencing a reignited craving for something new, fresh, and—dare I say—exciting.
Sound familiar? If so, don’t panic! This is a perfectly natural biological shift, and it happens for some pretty fascinating evolutionary reasons. Even better, you don’t have to let this newfound desire drive a wedge between you and your partner. In fact, this can be an opportunity to redefine your relationship, reignite your sex life, and explore new kinks and new dynamics like cuckolding, ethical non-monogamy (ENM), or polyamory.
In this blog, I’m going to dive deep into why menopause can trigger this need for novelty, the science behind it, and how modern marriage dynamics can help you manage this shift while keeping the connection with your partner alive and thriving.
First, let’s unpack what’s really going on when we hit menopause. Most people think of menopause as the end of a woman’s reproductive years, and while that’s true, there’s so much more to it. Menopause is a massive hormonal shift—our estrogen levels drop, and this affects everything from our mood to our energy levels to, of course, our sex drive.
For some women, this hormonal change can lead to a decline in libido, but for most, it’s the exact opposite. Many women approaching menopause experience a reawakening of their sexual desire, but here’s the catch: it’s is rarely directed at their long-term partner. After years or even decades of being with the same person, our brains naturally crave novelty. And this craving isn’t just some passing whim—it’s deeply rooted in our evolutionary history.
As we approach the end of our childbearing years, a "stale" sexual partner signals to the brain that a shift may be necessary for evolutionary reasons. From a biological perspective, humans are wired to seek the best opportunities for reproduction, and as fertility begins to decline, the brain can interpret a stagnant or predictable relationship as a sign that it's time to pursue new possibilities. This instinct to seek novelty could be linked to maximizing reproductive success by introducing fresh genetic material, even if pregnancy isn't the goal anymore. The desire for newness isn't just about physical attraction—it's the brain's way of stimulating excitement, vitality, and a sense of renewal during a stage of life when change and adaptation are crucial. Even though this instinct is rooted in evolution, its effects on modern relationships can be profound, pushing us to either reinvigorate our bond with our partner or explore alternative dynamics.…
Very interesting as always. Reading this blog I got hung up on the issue of the women’s biological need being the reason to open the relationship as menopause is setting in. If you are in a monogamous relationship say from 20-40. throughout that time the men would be suppressing his biological need to spread his seed to multiple partners. So to me as the women’s needs shift she would be under the same responsibility as the man was to suppress her biological needs and put extra effort to maintain a healthy sexual relationship. I feel a one sided open relationship must come from both partners mutual desire for it. From my perspective this is would seem very transactional and not a connecting experience.
Very well said Sir!
” … this is would seem very transactional and not a connecting experience.”
Precisely!