Let's talk pegging! Pegging is a topic that combines physical pleasure, emotional healing, intimate connection and the tender trust. While often relegated to kinky and taboo, pegging can be a tool for creating intimacy, especially with a dismissive avoidant man—not just in the bedroom, but throughout your entire relationship.
One of the most common attachment styles is dismissive avoidant, especially for men because they are conditioned to suppress their emotions from a young age. If your partner tends to feel checked out at times, be emotionally distant, independent to a fault, or shuts down during vulnerable moments, you might be navigating the world of avoidant attachment. It can be painful to love someone who keeps you at arm’s length, even if you sense their heart is capable of great love. The challenge is getting past the armor.
If you’re working with your couples therapist to navigate emotional intimacy challenges with your partner, it’s unlikely that he or she is going to say, “Have you tried pegging?” Most therapists won’t suggest anything that specific or push something sexually adventurous or polarizing. At best, they might gently recommend “exploring new experiences in the bedroom” or “finding ways to feel more connected through physical intimacy.” And that’s fine—it’s a safe, clinical way to say, maybe get a little more daring in bed. But they’re probably not going to hand you a strap-on and say, “Here’s your breakthrough.” That’s exactly why you’re here, isn’t it?
You’re not just looking for surface-level advice. You’re looking for something deeper—something that can cut through the layers of avoidance, fear, and control that often make intimacy feel just out of reach with a dismissive avoidant partner. That’s where we go beyond talk therapy and into the body—because sometimes, the key to emotional openness doesn’t come through words. It comes through physical surrender.
And that’s where pegging enters the picture—not as a gimmick or power grab, but as a ceremony of trust. A moment where he can let go of control in a way that feels safe, erotic, and affirming. A way to rewrite his story about closeness—one thrust, one breath, one shared vulnerability at a time. Pegging is no magic pill but it can be a shock to the system and a way to rewrite his framework of what trust and vulnerability means to him.
Let’s start by understanding the inner world of the dismissive avoidant.…
