Sarah is a reader that responded in the comments section of my blog. I didn't want her story to get buried in the comments section so I'm breaking her story out into chapters. I'm so grateful that she's decided to share her story here.
I am a female in my early 30’s engaged to a man in his early 20’s. We have been playing around lightly with some aspects of femdom and/or female led relationships. We are mostly just playing around and spicing up our sex life a bit with it and not too much more than that right now. I’ve been trying out a few things with him so to speak. So I was just doing some light homework on this and ran across your site while poking around all of the tons of garbage available on the Internet. I haven't shared this find with my fiancé, for reasons which I will explain. But what I am reading on your site really intrigues me. The sexual part yes certainly, but all of the stuff beyond the sex to a very large extent more so. I have been in several relationships prior to this one, and they all have been pretty conventional ones. By this I mean I seem to end up doing most of the work in the relationship. Housework, dishes, cleanup and yes in even certain respects even initiating sex and working even harder to get my orgasms delivered. Now with my fiancé, whom I love deeply, I am seeing some of this same pattern re-emerging.
I out-earn him right now by quite a bit, like 3 to 1. I work at a demanding job and put in long hours. He seems less driven by work and money then I am and is much more content to just come home and lounge on the sofa watching TV after a fairly easy day at his own job. He has many good attributes which I do love very much but his laziness around the house and even his laziness satisfying me sexually is getting to be a bit of an issue for me. This is what is intriguing me about your blog and because I am having this conversation with you as well as for all of the other content which I am seeing on your site, the reason why I don’t want to share this site with him. This site is for me and not for him, at least right now. From what I am reading or perhaps reading in between the lines a bit in what I am seeing, is how you are getting your husband to change outside of the bedroom by using all of the terrific sex to your advantage. Not only do you seem to be getting your orgasms very regularly (I would love that for a change), but your doing it all in a way which is also giving you considerably more control of your husbands behavior outside of the bedroom, all in a way which is also really benefiting you. I mean your husband seems to be doing his fair share around the house or maybe even more so from how I read your blog. He doesn't sound lazy and it sounds like you are able to motivate him to be a bit more energized with everything in and around the house and outside of the house and not just with sex. Not only is this something that I would love to experience with my fiancé immediately but its also something which I definitely would love to have with this man who will soon be my future husband down the road. I would like very much to start work on him now, before we are married, to see if I cant get us going on a similar path.
You certainly love these elements in your marriage, but from what I am reading, your husband also likes all of it as well (overall I guess in his case 🙂 ). So its a win win type thing for your marriage. Everyone's getting what they want and need, especially you, so thats just beyond wonderful!!! I would like to see if I cant get this to begin working in my own relationship. I figure that sooner is better than later with this type of modification to his behavior. I’d rather have that man now and not later. Plus my fiancé is still young enough where I think I can mold him a bit easier at this point than later on.
Can you give me some general pointers or ideas for casually getting us started along this path? Some ice breakers or starter steps which I might consider trying out with him. I don’t want to make it to obvious to him what I’m trying to accomplish and ruin this early on. I want to hook him so to speak before I consider laying my cards on the table with this so I don’t turn him off to this. Any thoughts on how I could begin to somewhat quietly incorporate this into my relationship? Something maybe which you already ran across and tried while implementing this with you husband? You guys must of have your own starting point so just looking for some further tips on that.
Sarah (and I really do love your site )…
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