On twitter, I will tweet about femdom related things, and female led relationship (FLR) things, and often conflate the two; because its fun. Kev and I enjoy a wonderful loving FLR and to be honest I love to brag about the dynamic we've built with intentional conversation and communication.
Women are no longer expected to hold traditional roles in their households and relationships. In fact, many women have taken to more dominant roles in their partnerships with men. A FLR is an amazing kind of relationship, because it matches two people up who have opposite sexual charge. In other words, they need each other's energy like crack cocaine.
The deeper they explore together, the deeper the addiction to each other. It's a good kind of addiction though, because its full of love. A FLR represents a relationship in which both partners can be vulnerable with each other, and explore their sexuality. Submissive men, need the structure she provides, the control she offers. That does not mean he is weak, it simply means, she opens the door for him to support and provide for her. The same as any other man submissive or not could do. She has no interest in an aggressive male that takes away her control because she is dominant so a submissive man is the perfect match for her. He provides, and supports. All of the rest of it, the kink, the degradation, the humiliation, the sissification, only become a part of it if that's something agreed to.
Femdom has capitalized on this, and made it into a huge deal, because it's what sells. It's arousing to see a dominant woman forcing a submissive to lick her feet. Or whatever other kink they're up to. Femdom has portrayed that submissive men are weak stupid doormats. Unfortunately, this has been portrayed so far and wide, that most people only see that version of submission. This is unfortunate, because there are many submissive men out there that know their worth, and they are looking only for one woman, the right woman, to give their devotion to. They're not interested in submitting to any random woman.
Femdom again, has created a bunch of men that are lost in that fantasy, and can't escape it. But there are many that have escaped it, and know who they are. They know at their core, that they respect women, that female beauty captures them. They want nothing more than to be there for her, and they crave her attention. A dominant woman, wants this quality in a submissive. He is offering to her, all of her dreams, pleasures, desires, and liberating her from any guilt or inhibitions, while remaining as her rock steady and trustworthy support. If that doesn't scream intimacy, bonding, romance, chivalry, and amazing sex ( kinky or not), I don't know what does. A FLR works with those who match each other this way, and there's a lot of people that want it. It's just taboo and misunderstood. In the first place. I would really love to shout from rooftops that to be submissive does not mean you are weak and unworthy of female attention. While also shouting, that to be dominant, you don't have to be mean, cruel, uncaring, or selfish.
These taboos don't allow a FLR to shine for the beacon of love that it is. A FLR is a way of creating harmony with another human being. Is it the only way to do that? No, it's not. Many conventional relationships are happy. But many conventional relationships are also unhappy. Many relationships need a FLR don't know it.…
Glad you brought this up. What we make of of our relationships doesn’t have to fit a “strict” definition.” Lifestyle labels are handy datums to deviate from. Nothing is hard and fast (oh sorry the puns).
There are plenty of women who crave being dominated, I think as many as men. In either type of relationship the leader has an awesome responsibility to be fair and guide the relationship into healthy territory. A good leader succeeds when they have good followers. Ones that provide good feedback when appropriate and follow directions without complaint when necessary. Effective leadership is situational; highly directional when compliance is a must and during conditioning, more supportive when the situation allows and after the follower behavior is consistent.
I’ve seen plenty of male led relations end in agony, and a few female led relations as well.
“There are plenty of women who crave being dominated, I think as many as men.”
May I add to this? There are plenty of women in decidedly Dominant roles, like my Wife, who occasionally wants to be dominated. Taken sexually. Punished even. When we do it and she orders me into the dominant role, and although if anyone were to witness it, they’d have no doubt that she is being submissive, there is never any doubt about who remains the leader in our relationship. She can pull the plug at any moment when we switch roles for any reason that she doesn’t ever have to explain.
Switching is impressive.
Great article. I’ve been letting go trying to control aspects of my marriage and doing all I can to make sure my wife has her way. It’s been an amazing change, and I’ve seen her becoming more confident, direct, and assertive, which in turn makes me more attracted to her. Both of us struggling for control just didn’t work. I’m much happier letting her control things and serving her, and I’ve noticed her increased attraction to me as a result of giving her this.
Excited to see where all this goes in due time.
While I agree with much of this, I would point out that FLR and Femdom relationships though not exactly interchangeable, are a great deal alike. In both the Female is the dominant partner. I would also suggest, that though this does not make men weak” in the physical sense, they are weak in other ways. Few realize that 90% of these men didn’t start out life this way – – they were made this way through systematic servitude to dominant Mothers, Aunts, female counselors, teachers, and workplace supervisors (as I was) expecting these same men suddenly shift gears to being the dominant partner when married to a lady is unrealistic. As was pointed out here in the past, FLR and Femdom can have different levels, from mild to intense, but let us not deceive ourselves, FLR and Femdom are not generally going to enrich a loving relationship, they are simply going create a relationship where the woman dominates, and the male submits – regardless of whether its loving or not.
Insightful article. I’ve been in an FLR as a feminised, chaste submissive man for some years now, and agree with the distinction between FLR and Femdom.
I have rules to follow and chores and challenges to complete, and while in the “bedroom” we do have a Femdom element with impact play, bondage, pegging etc, that’s the only area where I’m utterly submissive and completely passive.
In daily life, even when I’m ironing naked with a plug buzzing inside me, my opinions are sought and considered, and I still have responsibility for aspects of our lives, for instance finance, that she doesn’t have the inclination to control. I don’t spend the evenings being a footstool or such (though I am kept naked in the house except perhaps for hosiery), and I get to watch some TV I like, especially sci-fi.
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