Your kinky marriage and the 8 different types of love.

Your kinky marriage and the 8 different types of love.

English is such a weak language when it comes to expressing things like love. The Greeks for example used eight different words to express the concept of love. I struggle with the word love because it means so many different things to me. This blog is intended to talk through the different types of love with the added context kink and your kinky marriage. Your healthy marriage is the perfect formula of these types of love.

Eros, or romantic and sexual love, takes on a dynamic and multifaceted role that intertwines with the exploration of BDSM dynamics. Firstly, eros serves as a catalyst for sexual exploration and expression within the marriage. Couples may engage in various forms of BDSM play as a means of enhancing their sexual intimacy, fulfilling fantasies, and discovering new dimensions of their sexuality together. The exploration of kink can provide a space for partners to communicate their desires openly, leading to a deeper understanding of each other's needs and preferences in the bedroom.

The role of eros is deeply intertwined with the power dynamics that often characterize BDSM relationships. Within a kinky marriage, the exchange of power—such as dominance and submission—can be a source of intense eroticism and emotional connection. Consensual power exchange allows partners to explore their desires for control and surrender in a safe and trusting environment. Through these experiences, couples can cultivate a profound sense of intimacy and trust, strengthening the bond between them both emotionally and physically.

Eros plays a crucial role in fulfilling sexual fantasies and desires within the context of a kinky marriage. BDSM activities offer couples the opportunity to explore and indulge in a wide range of fetishes, role-playing scenarios, and erotic sensations. By embracing their fantasies together, partners can deepen their connection and create shared experiences that enhance their mutual attraction and satisfaction. Ultimately, eros serves as the foundation for navigating the complexities of BDSM dynamics within the marriage, ensuring that both partners feel loved, respected, and fulfilled in their exploration of kink together.

The role of philia, or deep friendship and companionship, is fundamental to the emotional foundation of the relationship. While eros—romantic and sexual love—may take center stage in many aspects of the marriage, philia provides a stable and supportive framework upon which the exploration of BDSM dynamics can flourish. Within the context of kink, philia manifests as a profound sense of camaraderie and mutual respect between partners, serving as the bedrock of trust and understanding necessary for engaging in consensual power exchange and exploration.

Philia also plays a crucial role in the communication and negotiation of boundaries within the kinky marriage. BDSM activities often involve intense and potentially risky forms of play, requiring partners to communicate openly about their desires, limits, and expectations. In a relationship grounded in philia, partners prioritize each other's well-being and emotional safety, fostering an environment where they can freely express their needs and concerns without fear of judgment or rejection. This mutual respect and empathy form the basis for building trust and intimacy, both essential components of a fulfilling BDSM dynamic.…

#PEGHIM: Pegging Your Way to a More Intimate Relationship

#PEGHIM: Pegging Your Way to a More Intimate Relationship

Pegging, the art of using a strap-on dildo to penetrate their partner anally, can increase intimacy and closeness in a relationship, but it requires communication, consent, and comfort levels of the individuals involved.

  1. Communication and Trust: Engaging in pegging requires open and honest communication between partners. Discussing desires, boundaries, and concerns can deepen trust and understanding in the relationship. The act of pegging itself can also involve ongoing communication and checking in with each other's comfort levels, fostering a sense of trust and connection.
  2. Vulnerability and Exploration: Pegging involves a reversal of traditional gender roles and can challenge societal norms and expectations. For many couples, exploring new sexual experiences together can create a sense of vulnerability and intimacy. It allows partners to step outside their comfort zones and connect on a deeper level through shared exploration and experimentation.
  3. Empathy and Understanding: For the receiving partner, pegging can provide insight into the physical and emotional experiences of penetrative sex, fostering empathy and understanding between partners. Sharing this intimate experience can strengthen the emotional bond and create a deeper sense of connection.
  4. Physical Pleasure and Satisfaction: Pegging can offer a new source of sexual pleasure and satisfaction for both partners. The prostate, often referred to as the male G-spot, can be highly sensitive and can lead to intense orgasms when stimulated. Exploring different forms of pleasure together can enhance sexual compatibility and satisfaction in the relationship.
  5. Breaking Taboos and Stigma: Engaging in pegging can challenge taboos and stigma surrounding anal play and non-traditional sexual practices. By exploring new sexual activities together, couples can create a judgment-free space where they feel accepted and celebrated for their desires and preferences, fostering a deeper sense of intimacy and acceptance.

While one might argue that a female penetrating a man is a very unnatural position, I suggest that it is more natural than you might imagine. The act of taking a man sexually appeals to my dominant side and allows me to feel a new level of intimacy with my partner. An innate part of being a woman is a nurturing side which doesn't come naturally for me and I have a tendency to suppress. Pegging puts me in a position of responsibility for my partner and the vulnerability of my nurturing side comes forth. Hearing his gentle moans as I push into him gives me a reminder that he is mine and his physical and emotional well being in our broader relationship. Yes, I overthink pegging just like everything in my life. Can any of the ladies reading this identify with me? Thought so.

  1. Curiosity and Openness: Some women may feel curious or intrigued about pegging and may be open to exploring it as a means of sexual experimentation and adventure. They may view it as an opportunity to explore new facets of their sexuality and enhance intimacy with their partner.
  2. Empowerment: For some women, pegging can be empowering, as it involves taking on a traditionally masculine role of penetration. Engaging in pegging can challenge gender norms and stereotypes, allowing women to assert their sexual agency and explore their desires in a non-conventional way.
  3. Physical Pleasure: Women who enjoy pegging may find it sexually gratifying and pleasurable. They may appreciate the opportunity to provide their partner with unique sensations and experiences, while also deriving pleasure from the act itself, whether through physical stimulation or emotional connection.
  4. Communication and Trust: Many women view pegging as an extension of intimacy and trust within their relationships. Engaging in open and honest communication about desires, boundaries, and preferences is crucial for ensuring a positive and consensual experience. Women who feel comfortable discussing and exploring pegging with their partners may see it as a way to deepen emotional connection and trust.
  5. Disinterest or Discomfort: On the other hand, some women may feel disinterested or uncomfortable with the idea of pegging. They may have personal boundaries or preferences that don't align with the practice, or they may feel apprehensive about engaging in anal play for various reasons, including physical discomfort or stigma.
  6. Cultural and Social Factors: Women's attitudes toward pegging can also be influenced by cultural and social factors, including societal norms, religious beliefs, and personal upbringing. Some women may feel hesitant to explore pegging due to fear of judgment or stigma from others.

Pegging is gay! That seems to be the biggest concern of men when confronted with a discussion about pegging. Pegging as an act isn't in and of itself gay. Even if it was, is being gay something to be afraid of? To many men masculinity is in and of itself a push to prove they are straight. Is a gay many any less masculine? The answer is that homosexuality has little to do with masculinity. A gay man can be hypermasculine and prefer men while a straight man can be hyperfeminine and prefer women. It simply isn't related. Let your guard down, relax about the whole gay thing and enjoy your partner. You've got a sexual organ in your cute little butt called a prostate and guess what? Stipulation of that little p-spot can feel quite good.

  1. Curiosity and Exploration: Some men may feel curious about pegging and may be open to exploring it as a means of sexual experimentation and adventure. They may view it as an opportunity to experience new sensations and expand their sexual repertoire.
  2. Physical Pleasure: For some men, pegging can provide intense physical pleasure and stimulation, particularly through the prostate, often referred to as the male G-spot. The prostate is highly sensitive and can lead to powerful orgasms when stimulated, which some men find enjoyable and fulfilling.
  3. Intimacy and Connection: Engaging in pegging can deepen intimacy and connection between partners. The act requires trust, communication, and vulnerability, which can strengthen the emotional bond between a couple. Men who feel comfortable discussing and exploring pegging with their partners may see it as a way to enhance their relationship and sexual connection.
  4. Breaking Taboos: Some men may find pegging appealing because it challenges traditional gender roles and stereotypes. By embracing pegging, men can explore their sexuality in a non-conventional way and break free from societal expectations of masculinity.
  5. Communication and Trust: Many men view pegging as an extension of trust and communication within their relationships. Engaging in open and honest conversations about desires, boundaries, and preferences is essential for ensuring a positive and consensual experience. Men who feel supported and respected by their partners in exploring pegging may feel more comfortable embracing it as part of their sexual repertoire.
  6. Disinterest or Discomfort: On the other hand, some men may feel disinterested or uncomfortable with the idea of pegging. They may have personal boundaries or preferences that don't align with the practice, or they may feel apprehensive about engaging in anal play for various reasons, including physical discomfort or stigma.
  7. Social and Cultural Factors: Men's attitudes toward pegging can also be influenced by social and cultural factors, including societal norms, religious beliefs, and personal upbringing. Some men may feel hesitant to explore pegging due to fear of judgment or stigma from others.
Chemistry Through Cuckolding: Taking a different approach

Chemistry Through Cuckolding: Taking a different approach


In the journey of love, relationships often encounter periods of staleness. The initial spark dims, routines take over, and the chemistry that once ignited passion seems to fade into the background of life. A relationship isn't doomed just because things feel stagnant and new relationship energy has faded. In fact, it may be the perfect opportunity to reignite the flame and infuse it with new life. Let's explore how to bring chemistry and love back to a stale relationship.

The first step in reviving a stale relationship is acknowledging that it has reached a plateau. Signs of a stale relationship may include:

  • Lack of excitement or enthusiasm
  • Routine-driven interactions
  • Decreased physical intimacy
  • Communication barriers
  • Feeling disconnected or distant
  • Perception of living two parallel lives

Once you've identified these signs, it's confront them together as a couple, without blame or judgment. Recognizing the issue is the first step toward finding a solution.

Lust is driven by sexual attraction and alone it is a physical, surface level relationship. Love is driven by strong emotions and alone it is a deep relationship driven by emotions. For a romantic relationship, neither is enough on its own. Lust is driven by chemistry, novelty and newness. Love is driven by familiarity, comfort and safety. Deep love, safety and familiarity have the unfortunate side effect of stifling sexual chemistry. If you haven't read Esther Perel's book Mating in Captivity, do your relationship a favor and read it now.

Rediscovering chemistry in a relationship involves rekindling the emotional and physical connection between partners. Here are some strategies to reignite that spark:…

Cuckold Risks: Sexual Apathy Conditioning Risks in Cuckold and Chaste Relationships

Cuckold Risks: Sexual Apathy Conditioning Risks in Cuckold and Chaste Relationships

Like many of you, my husband is pussy free some of the time but we ran into a problem that came up in therapy and my husband is beginning to struggle in terms of associating me as a source of sexual arousal. Our therapist is aware of the dynamic in our relationship but consulted with a colleague and eventually to her mentor.

They came to the consensus that my husband has lost sexual association with me. This happens naturally in some relationships when couples enter the ill fated friend zone. To make matters worse my husband is desensitized to sexual stimuli from watching me with my boyfriend (bull).

Sexual association within relationships can encompass a variety of dynamics, preferences, and meanings for different individuals. It's important to recognize that each relationship is unique and may involve its own set of understandings and agreements regarding sexual expression and intimacy.

For many people, sexual association in a relationship involves physical intimacy, which can include sexual intercourse, kissing, hugging, cuddling, and other forms of touch. Physical intimacy is often a way for partners to express love, desire, and closeness. Sexual association can also be deeply tied to emotional connection and needn't be tied directly to sex. For some individuals, feeling emotionally connected to their partner is a prerequisite for engaging in sexual activity. Emotional intimacy can enhance the overall sexual experience and strengthen the bond between partners. I love and cherish an emotionally intimate connection that I have with Kev and I don't seek to replace it elsewhere.

Open and honest communication is essential when it comes to sexual association in relationships. Partners should feel comfortable discussing their desires, boundaries, and any concerns they may have about their sexual relationship. Effective communication can help ensure that both partners' needs are met and that any issues are addressed promptly. In healthy relationships, sexual association should be mutually satisfying for both partners. This means that both individuals should feel valued, respected, and fulfilled in their sexual experiences together. It's important for partners to be attentive to each other's needs and desires and to prioritize mutual pleasure and satisfaction. Even in a a relationship where orgasm denial is present, the denial must be consensual for the relationship to prosper, he must willingly lay his sword at your feet and accept chastity as a tribute to you and your relationship.

Consent is a fundamental aspect of sexual association in any relationship. Both partners must freely and enthusiastically consent to any sexual activity, and consent should be ongoing and reversible. Additionally, respecting each other's boundaries, preferences, and autonomy is crucial for maintaining a healthy and respectful sexual relationship.…

Ask Emma: Are we cuckold or open? Our marriage is complex and we need a change.

Ask Emma: Are we cuckold or open? Our marriage is complex and we need a change.

Hi Paula! The clear implication here is that you want the control you once had when you were the "strong driving force" and you feel like you've lost some of the control in your household. You've become roommates or nesting partners and while that may be fine for some couples, it doesn't foster the core relationship that it sounds like you crave. What does it say about your sexual desires and their exclusion from your marital bed? I think it is very clear that you need a semblance of control over your husband's sexuality without giving up your own sexual freedom. Your current situation is paradoxical and seems not only unsatisfying but also unsustainable in the current form.

My personal opinion is that you need to bring the sexual aspect of your relationship together at the expense of your husband's extramarital friendships. Make his sexuality about you and allow him to experience sexual openness through your eyes. Men often thrive from sexual control and you may find that he will excitedly give up his current sexual autonomy for control and structure of a loving female led marriage. In fact, it sounds like the two of you thrived when you felt that in the past. Bring him into the relationship that you have with your boyfriend and let him love you through that rather than in spite of that. I've been quietly experiencing life with monthly blog updates lately but your situation sounds somewhat similar to what Kev and I have experienced lately. It has been some time since sharing an update about us and I feel like your question gives a good opportunity for an update. I'll recap with more thought about how you can reel your free fella back in.

I've had a boyfriend named Trevor for nearly six months now and we see each other regularly. At first this began as a separate relationship and I'd sleep over at his house most of the time, perhaps two or three times a week. This worked for me and Trevor but left Kev feeling alone and undesired. Coming home the next morning with disheveled hair and the just got fucked glow, he loved seeing me and often had breakfast waiting for us to enjoy and reconnect together. After some time this began to take its toll and even impacted the sexual side of our relationship. Kev has been on the 7 day chastity lockup plan for years now. We lock him up on Sundays, unlocking for non-orgasmic/maintenance sex and cleanings throughout the week but on Sundays he is permitted an orgasm. I love our Sundays and we both crave his sexual releases. Kev loves hearing about my fun times with Trevor but over time it becomes repetitive and included Kev less and less. This created a level of sexual distance that we never felt with Andrew and other past experiences.

During #sphnovember, I tried using SPH as a way to reconnect with the sexual side of my wonderful loving husband. That worked wonderfully, we were able to play into the "not good enough" aspect of male sexuality and derive some wonderful fantasy but the separation of my sexual partners was difficult. Kev had no autonomy to pursue relationships of his own and we discussed the possibility of opening this side of our relationship. In running this site, I've was contacted by a pro domme who wanted to play with my subby boy and that was an idea that I toyed with but I wanted him submissive guy all to myself. The problem was that our sex was about me and Trevor and it left a gaping hole for Kev. I've been feeling insecure about my understanding of that dynamic so I haven't felt confident enough to post blogs recently. If I don't have it all figured out at home so how am I any sort of authority to help any of you?

I had a heart to heart with Trevor in early December and told him that my relationship with him was impacting my relationship with my husband and I needed to make a change. I presented the conversation in such a way that his eyes perked up and he seemed concerned that he would fall victim to this change. I realized that my words were presented poorly and told him that I was seeking a change that would allow us all to benefit. I wanted converge my relationships and bring the two separate streams together. I wanted to truly allow Kev to experience my sexuality first hand in a way that would drive and capture his own sexual needs. While I have no desire for him to be an active participant with Trevor, I do want him to be an active spectator. I want to build and cultivate his sexual energy by experiencing my own alongside me.…

The Female Led Marriage: Make the sexual dynamic about his needs

The Female Led Marriage: Make the sexual dynamic about his needs

If you believe everything you read on the internet, the female led or cuckold marriage is about a woman who ignores her pathetic husband at home and simply does whatever she will with whomever she wants. This isn't reality, that relationship isn't sustainable and will quickly end. After all, what is she getting from the husband aside from some emotional support and her bills paid. What is he getting aside from perhaps some kinky stories of his wife's sexual adventures. How long do you think the hotness of this will last? If she keeps him chaste, how long do you think he will find this enjoyable? This relationship isn't sustainable at least not happily sustainable. The key to maintaining a healthy female leadership role in the relationship by making the fantasy about him rather than something he witnesses through her. He isn't a passenger, he is very much an equal participant. He is the reason that you are able to experience the wicked cuckoldry and let's be completely honest, it makes it so much better to know that he is at wanting and waiting.

Couples enter into female led relationships for many reasons but the interest usually stems from an established couple where sexual energy has diminished. That chemical newness exists in a relationship for a period of time but it goes away and the appeal of sexual newness outside of the relationship becomes intriguing. If you jumped from relationship to relationship every time the newness wore off, you would never allow yourself to experience true depth with a partner. As that newness fades, men often feel inadequate and often sexualize their insecurities. Could he be a little thinner, slightly more fit, does he wish for a bigger penis or how about lasting longer in bed? Those types of things are trivial at the beginning of the relationship when you are infatuated with each other but his mind will start to wonder if those are the reasons why your sexual interest with him is fading.

Maintaining a healthy sexual relationship that involves BDSM, cuckoldry of any kind and elements of humiliation requires even more attention to communication, trust, and consent than in a typical relationship. Here are some guidelines to help couples navigate such a relationship safely and consensually:

  1. Open and Honest Communication: Communication is the foundation of any healthy BDSM relationship. Discuss your desires, boundaries, and limits openly and honestly with your partner. Share your fantasies and expectations to ensure both partners are on the same page.
  2. Establish Trust: Trust is paramount in BDSM relationships. Both partners must trust each other implicitly, knowing that their boundaries will be respected. Trust is built over time through communication, respect, and fulfilling promises.
  3. Clear Consent: Always prioritize clear and enthusiastic consent. Establish a safe word or signal that can be used to stop the activity if anyone feels uncomfortable or wants to halt the scene. Consent should be ongoing and can be withdrawn at any time.
  4. Education: Educate yourselves about the activities involved in BDSM, including the safety measures, risks, and techniques. Understanding the physical and psychological aspects of BDSM is crucial to engaging in these activities safely.
  5. Start Slow: If you're new to BDSM or incorporating elements of humiliation, start slowly and gradually increase the intensity of your play. Give yourselves time to adjust and understand each other's limits.
  6. Aftercare: After a BDSM scene, it's important to provide aftercare, which involves emotional and physical support to help your partner recover and feel safe and cared for. This may include cuddling, reassurance, or just spending time together.
  7. Consent and Boundaries: Regularly revisit and discuss your limits, desires, and boundaries. As your relationship evolves, your preferences may change, so ongoing communication is essential.
  8. Respect and Respect Limits: Always respect your partner's limits and boundaries. If a particular activity or level of humiliation makes your partner uncomfortable, it should be avoided.
  9. Safety Measures: Be well-prepared for BDSM activities, including having appropriate tools, restraints, and safety equipment on hand. Educate yourselves on techniques to minimize the risk of injury.
  10. Seek Guidance: If you're new to BDSM or feel unsure about certain aspects, consider seeking guidance from experienced individuals or attending workshops or educational events. There are many resources available to help you learn more about BDSM safely.
  11. Non-judgmental Attitude: Maintain a non-judgmental and supportive attitude towards each other's desires and interests. Remember that BDSM is consensual and should not be used as a means to harm or demean your partner outside of the agreed-upon role-play.
  12. Professional Help: If you find that engaging in BDSM and humiliation is affecting your emotional well-being or causing distress, consider seeking the assistance of a qualified therapist or counselor with expertise in this area.

Incorporating BDSM and humiliation into a sexual relationship can be a fulfilling and enjoyable experience for some couples. However, it requires a deep level of trust, communication, and mutual consent to ensure the well-being of both partners. Always prioritize safety, consent, and respect in your activities and interactions.

The tease is about the journey and the journey is about the tease. We've established why one would want to have a female led relationship but how do you determine boundaries and with whom the fantasy should revolve. The fantasy should revolve around him and his relevance to your sexuality. We know that you are a sexual creature, it is no secret that the beautiful lingerie makes you look absolutely stunning. There is no question that you walk into a room and all eyes are on you. Harnessing his role in that sexuality is what defines a true female led or cuckold relationship. When he looks at you, does he see his own inadequacy or does he see you as a sexual woman who loves his heart despite his perceived physical inadequacies? Men are problem solvers and have an innate need to serve and please women, it is deeply engrained in him. If he knows that he isn't your sexual fantasy, he knows that he can be your heart or soulmate and help you to solve the sexual problem with other means. This shift in the dichotomy of sexual relationship doesn't mean that he has any fewer needs. He still needs to feel a sexual purpose in the relationship even if your sexual energy is going elsewhere. He needs to have that carnal, lustful energy met by BDSM, humiliation or other means. …

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