Stan's Book

Posted by: @stan

So tell me.  Just down through #11, forget the supposition of 13 & 14...

Suppose to be #12, forget the supposition of 1 - 3.

Want to apologize to anyone who read this "attack" on Emma.  I didn't have the whole story and made an "ass" out of "me" when I assumed I knew what was going on.

I specifically apologize to @HappyCuckold, @dharmaproject, @subhubphx for any negative comments I made about Emma's lifestyle.  She and Kevin are doing this the only way it is ever successful.  They are "really" communicating and on the same page about all of this.

I assumed Emma coerced Kevin into cuckolding because I read about their pegging and chastity journey, then the next thing I read was "Then there were Three" and "Moving In". I missed the 4 part blog where they talked this all through and got together with Andrew. 

If you miss that part, Emma cuckolding Kevin is a degrading and unloving behavior.  Done as it has been, with full communication and commitment by BOTH parties, it has a high probability of success.

I see that I've become jaded.  I look for the worst in these situations.  There are a number of women out there who use coercion to cuckold their partner.  Divorce isn't very attractive to the male if you have young children involved. Men who stay in these situations for any length of time are usually emotionally scared.  That wasn't the case here, but undying love is just as easily coerced.

That's it!  I found out that Emma isn't a monster using Kevin's love against him ~ which is what I think women who coerce their partners into cuckolding are.  I've apologized to her in a private post.  I'm apologizing to all of you here for my arrogance. I think that's the best I can do to correct this mistake.

Would really like to see this thread disappear from this blog.  I am embarrassed to have gone off half cocked without all the details of how they got to cuckolding and written all this drivel.

Be well and stay safe everyone,

Stan

@stan

Stan, thank you for acknowledging that you had overlooked the piece of the puzzle concerning consent.  I haven’t read all of Emma’s blog posts myself, but I have been impressed with what I have read.  I feel a bit embarrassed myself for having engaged in the discussion. My apologies to Emma and Kevin as well.

 I am still curious about one point you raise.  You seem to imply that lots of dominant women are pressuring reluctant men to accept cuckolding.  My perception is that overall submissive men vastly outnumber dominant women and that within FLR’s it is generally the women who are cautious about acting on their men’s cuckold fantasies.  

@happycuckold

“You seem to imply that lots of dominant women are pressuring reluctant men to accept cuckolding.  My perception is that overall submissive men vastly outnumber dominant women and that within FLR’s it is generally the women who are cautious about acting on their men’s cuckold fantasies.”

I suspect that you are correct in that the majority of men pressure the women and not the other way around. Look at how many blogs there are out there related to Femdom, chastity, etc. Just because a man is okay with his spouse having sex with another man does not make it a cuckold situation. It could also be a compersion situation. 

If one is unable to thoroughly read a blog before making some inflammatory accusations and attacking a total stranger’s character then I question that person’s ability to analyze any scientific study or university research. Instead I suspect that their “research” is only biased opinion. 

@happycuckold

I'm not now talking about D/s relationships, nor was I ever.  I am talking about cuckolding! Just because you cuckold/are cuckolded doesn't necessarily mean your relationship is D/s.  Sometimes it's the man who gets more pleasure/encourages the wife to cuckold.    

But sometimes cuckolding is coercive.  Using your advantage over someone financially, intellectually, or physically to get them to do what you want them to do is abusive.

As I said, I think I've become jaded.  I've been researching cuckolding for 5 years.  Most cuckolding doesn't go well and destroys the relationship.  Even when both parties were in agreement to start with sometimes:  They try it, she likes it, he doesn't, "now" she doesn't want to stop... visa versa.  Sometimes he gets her to try it so that he can be "coercive" himself and try to guilt her into letting him have a turn. All sorts of scenarios, but ONLY one of them turns out ok and doesn't result in emotional damage.  That is when it has been fully communicated between both parties and both parties WANT it to happen.  

With this thing called Hotwifing hitting the blogs, the internet, and even making it to high budget porn movies... more people are becoming aware of it. They read about it and then try it.  Sometimes voluntarily, but sometimes by coercion.

How coercion? Unfortunately, with divorce laws being what they are... whether in the right or wrong... men get screwed.  If their wife cuckolds them involuntarily and they decide to divorce, they pay child support, possible alimony, have to provide residence for the kids (where the ex wife also lives), insurance, etc. Sometimes they are coerced into this situation that they hate because they can't afford to leave.  This is very damaging to these men.

I am a very sex positive person.  I believe in everybody's right to do what they want however they want... as long as everyone consents.  I'm not against cuckolding.  I'm against forced cuckolding.  I'm about love.  Coercion isn't love.

Posted by: @dharmaproject

If one is unable to thoroughly read a blog before making some inflammatory accusations and attacking a total stranger’s character then I question that person’s ability to analyze any scientific study or university research. Instead I suspect that their “research” is only biased opinion. 

Funny you should mention research. Just because I apologized for the misunderstanding over cuckolding doesn't mean I agree with some of the information here. 

Let's call this site what it is.  This is a sex site where sexually submissive men gather to hear the latest on the subject from a "mistress" they all enjoy.   There is no real research here.  Research here comes from Pornhub and FLR/Femdom websites.  I have no problem with that but calling this a sex research site is a joke.

Emma has access to real research if she wants it.  If she is a psych student, she has access to university research studies. The problem is a lot of real research "doesn't" support her chastity and ejaculation restriction theories.  Often, when real research actually does make it to this site, it is discounted. 

Let's take cock cages for example.  Urologists recommend not keeping the penis locked over night, as to allow nocturnal erections for good penis health.  Emma suggests by antidotal evidence that we shouldn't pay attention to medical doctor's advice.  Instead we should not worry about it because there isn't any "concrete" evidence that it can lead to ED.  OBTW Swollen prostate and ED go hand in hand later in life. Swollen prostate and ejaculation frequency are inversely proportional.  You do the math.

I saw in one blog she discussed knowing that men need a minimum of 3.25 or 13 ejaculations per month.  She then discounted the research saying she didn't believe it because x,y,z.  This is a study of 30,000+ men, 500,000 man years by "real" medical doctors, not self appointed experts, on the relationship between ejaculations and prostate cancer. 

This is a normalized study, meaning it takes into account other factors for prostate cancer.  This IS science and it shows that Emma's practice of allowing Kevin release 1x/week is the absolute worst thing she can be doing for his prostate health.  He'll have a 4 - 5% higher chance of having prostate cancer at age 50 than someone who had 13 - 21 orgasms per month.  By discounting this information, she can continue to play the chastity games she enjoys. Ejaculation Frequency and Risk of Prostate Cancer: Updated Results with an Additional Decade of Follow-up - PubMed (nih.gov)

My concern in all of this is that it won't be Emma with ED or prostate cancer in the end, it will be Kevin. 

Peace, Out!

@stan. 
Having been treated for prostate problems, I have talked to urologists and I have read quite a bit about prostate health, and I think you are right about the potential harms of cock cages and long term orgasm denial, Stan.  I think there are psychological benefits to having orgasms too.  I do think, however, that it is exciting and emotionally enriching in the context of a FLR for a man to feel that his penis is under his wife’s control. Knowing that sexual activity with my wife might result in an orgasm for her but not for me feels wonderfully submissive.  But I think it is possible to practice orgasm denial in a moderate way that reinforces the D/s sexual dynamic without subjecting the man to marathon periods of denial that put his sexual health at risk.

Posted by: @happycuckold

@stan. 
Having been treated for prostate problems, I have talked to urologists and I have read quite a bit about prostate health, and I think you are right about the potential harms of cock cages and long term orgasm denial, Stan.  I think there are psychological benefits to having orgasms too.  I do think, however, that it is exciting and emotionally enriching in the context of a FLR for a man to feel that his penis is under his wife’s control. Knowing that sexual activity with my wife might result in an orgasm for her but not for me feels wonderfully submissive.  But I think it is possible to practice orgasm denial in a moderate way that reinforces the D/s sexual dynamic without subjecting the man to marathon periods of denial that put his sexual health at risk.

Hey Happy,

I want to start by saying I support any way two (more if they agree) people want to play sexually. 

FLR ~ Leash you and lead you down a crowded sidewalk.  Make you dress in girly clothes.  Cuckold you (as long as it's been discussed and it's not coercive), whatever floats your boat as long as it's consensual (even if it is dominance and pushing limits a subs limits... as long as it's consensual).  I don't support coercive sex of any kind. 

I also don't support sex games that put your health at risk.  If you're going to play them, you really need to look at the science and all parties involved have to really think through the risk/reward.

I don't want to appear "biased" but I guess I am when it comes to "science".  I think I can say without a shred of doubt based on this evidence that ejaculation frequency and prostate cancer are inversely proportional.  The doctors in this study agree with me.  This was a huge study with 30,000+ men, 500,000 man hours, normalized for risk factors, 14 years of data.

Patient summary: We evaluated whether ejaculation frequency throughout adulthood is related to prostate cancer risk in a large US-based study. We found that men reporting higher compared to lower ejaculatory frequency in adulthood were less likely to be subsequently diagnosed with prostate cancer.

To break this down by age 50, @6ish percent of the people who have 13 or more orgasms a month have contracted prostate cancer.  @8.5% of the people who have 4 - 7 orgasms a month have prostate cancer.  As you can see, you're better off having no orgasms per week than 1 to 2 per week as it way better for your prostate.  By the time men are in their mid 50s, the gap is nearing 5% and it just gets worse as years go on. Is a 5% higher chance of getting prostate cancer worth the thrill of this sex game?

The reason for this increase in prostate cancer is because the VERY hormones that Emma posts charts about that show a man's hormone connection to submissiveness are the ones that screw up his prostate.  That's science too and I can provide some more "real research" where they have studied this in a clinical setting if you'd like.

These aren't guestimates.  There is no supposition here.  More than 13 orgasms a month = good, 0 - 3 orgasms a month = not good/not bad, 8 - 12 orgasms a month = BAD, 4 - 7 orgasms a month = REALLY BAD.

Hopefully this helps people understand this better. 

Posted by: @stan

Posted by: @happycuckold

@stan. 
Having been treated for prostate problems, I have talked to urologists and I have read quite a bit about prostate health, and I think you are right about the potential harms of cock cages and long term orgasm denial, Stan.  I think there are psychological benefits to having orgasms too.  I do think, however, that it is exciting and emotionally enriching in the context of a FLR for a man to feel that his penis is under his wife’s control. Knowing that sexual activity with my wife might result in an orgasm for her but not for me feels wonderfully submissive.  But I think it is possible to practice orgasm denial in a moderate way that reinforces the D/s sexual dynamic without subjecting the man to marathon periods of denial that put his sexual health at risk.

Hey Happy,

I want to start by saying I support any way two (more if they agree) people want to play sexually. 

FLR ~ Leash you and lead you down a crowded sidewalk.  Make you dress in girly clothes.  Cuckold you (as long as it's been discussed and it's not coercive), whatever floats your boat as long as it's consensual (even if it is dominance and pushing limits a subs limits... as long as it's consensual).  I don't support coercive sex of any kind. 

I also don't support sex games that put your health at risk.  If you're going to play them, you really need to look at the science and all parties involved have to really think through the risk/reward.

I don't want to appear "biased" but I guess I am when it comes to "science".  I think I can say without a shred of doubt based on this evidence that ejaculation frequency and prostate cancer are inversely proportional.  The doctors in this study agree with me.  This was a huge study with 30,000+ men, 500,000 man hours, normalized for risk factors, 14 years of data.

Patient summary: We evaluated whether ejaculation frequency throughout adulthood is related to prostate cancer risk in a large US-based study. We found that men reporting higher compared to lower ejaculatory frequency in adulthood were less likely to be subsequently diagnosed with prostate cancer.

 

To break this down by age 50, @6ish percent of the people who have 13 or more orgasms a month have contracted prostate cancer.  @8.5% of the people who have 4 - 7 orgasms a month have prostate cancer.  As you can see, you're better off having no orgasms per week than 1 to 2 per week as it way better for your prostate.  By the time men are in their mid 50s, the gap is nearing 5% and it just gets worse as years go on. Is a 5% higher chance of getting prostate cancer worth the thrill of this sex game?

The reason for this increase in prostate cancer is because the VERY hormones that Emma posts charts about that show a man's hormone connection to submissiveness are the ones that screw up his prostate.  That's science too and I can provide some more "real research" where they have studied this in a clinical setting if you'd like.

These aren't guestimates.  There is no supposition here.  More than 13 orgasms a month = good, 0 - 3 orgasms a month = not good/not bad, 8 - 12 orgasms a month = BAD, 4 - 7 orgasms a month = REALLY BAD.

Hopefully this helps people understand this better. 

@HappyCuckold

To get the one with the chart open I had to respond to my own post.

@stan. Damn! According to the statistics you cite, my idea of moderate orgasm denial increases the risk of prostate cancer more than extreme orgasm denial.  But there is one aspect of the issue that isn’t covered by the statistics.  Presumably, many of the guys who have 0-3 orgasms per month simply aren’t sexually active.  They might not have sexual partners, and some may actually be asexual.  Presumably, that would have a different effect on the prostate than being denied orgasms while being kept in a heightened state of arousal in a D/s relationship.

@happycuckold The problem with most of these studies linking orgasm frequency to prostate cancer is that they rely on self reporting and memory. They lack the hard data of multiple men reporting every orgasm over their entire life and instead ask the men how often they think they orgasmed per week or month at certain parts of their life and have found a correlation for prostate cancer to those that report less orgasms. They have done the same thing for men who have obtained a vasectomy. 

If this is the case then I would argue that priests and monks who have taken vows of celibacy should all have an extremely high chance of prostate cancer. Also, I’d expect NASA to have designed areas of the Space Station for men to relieve themselves while on missions. Finally, I’d expect the military to require all male soldiers to masturbate a certain number of times per week while on missions for their health, especially those on submarines for months at a time. How about those with spinal injuries and those who are unable to obtain an erection and therefore go decades without an actual orgasm?

The true cause of prostate cancer is unknown. The longer a man lives, the greater the chance that he will develop prostate cancer. The body has ways to clear the prostate gland when it is full. 

My source for prostate cancer information is that I’ve got three family members who are urologists and I’ve spent way too much time listening to them talk about prostate cancer and urology related matters. Every family gathering ends up being a urology discussion. 

As far as chastity cages go and nocturnal erections, etc, there is not enough data out there to support any findings. Most men do not disclose to their healthcare provider that they wear a chastity cage. 

@dharmaproject. Thanks for that perspective.  You are right that there are too many unknowns to make definitive causal connections between prostate cancer and lifestyle.  So I guess I can go back to being jealous of guys who have had the experience of being caged by their wives?  Lol

By the way, three urologists in one family!  And I thought my family was strange for being heavy in lawyers.  😉

Posted by: @happycuckold

@stan. Damn! According to the statistics you cite, my idea of moderate orgasm denial increases the risk of prostate cancer more than extreme orgasm denial.  But there is one aspect of the issue that isn’t covered by the statistics.  Presumably, many of the guys who have 0-3 orgasms per month simply aren’t sexually active.  They might not have sexual partners, and some may actually be asexual.  Presumably, that would have a different effect on the prostate than being denied orgasms while being kept in a heightened state of arousal in a D/s relationship.

Hey Happy,

That is what the data shows!  The denial frequency that Emma recommends is the most dangerous for prostate health.

Not sure.  Don't know if heightened sexual desire has a positive or negative effect.  I know that the hormone levels rise with denial... plateaus... then drops off after a period of time.  Could be that the Zero times a month and the 1 - 3 times have a big difference BUT this study says it is normalized = would account for Zero's being way different than 1 - 3 time/month. 

Posted by: @dharmaproject

If this is the case then I would argue that priests and monks who have taken vows of celibacy should all have an extremely high chance of prostate cancer. Also, I’d expect NASA to have designed areas of the Space Station for men to relieve themselves while on missions. Finally, I’d expect the military to require all male soldiers to masturbate a certain number of times per week while on missions for their health, especially those on submarines for months at a time. How about those with spinal injuries and those who are unable to obtain an erection and therefore go decades without an actual orgasm.

Always amazes me when people try to argue scientific evidence with opinion.  30,000+ men studied over 14 years.  Who gives a damn if their ejaculation frequency data is self reported. 

Did all the guys who where "erroneously" self reporting 21+ orgasms a month NOT get prostate cancer JUST because they "reported" that they had lots of ejaculations?  Did the guys "erroneously" reporting they only had ejaculations once a week suddenly end up with prostate cancer at a much higher rate  because they didn't embellish their numbers?

I'll bet that you can't see any correlation between green house gasses and climate change either?  Sorry, won't debate with someone who isn't willing to accept facts/scientific study's as evidence over opinion.  30,000+ men studied over 14 years and still going.  These results are NOT ambiguous.  This is science.  Anything else you have to say is opinion.

Ejaculation Frequency and Risk of Prostate Cancer: Updated Results with an Additional Decade of Follow-up - PubMed (nih.gov)

In case you struggle understanding this chart... when they started ~ nobody had cancer.  Over 14 years, this is what happened. 

Men who reported 21+ orgasms/month had the least amount of their numbers claimed by prostate cancer.  The men reporting 4 -7 ejaculations per month most amount of members claimed by prostate cancer.  Men reporting 0 - 3 ejaculations per month ran down the middle. 

Ejaculations per month:  21+ = Very good, 13 - 21 good, 0 - 3 not good or bad, 7 - 12 bad, 4 - 7 Very bad based on 30,000+ subjects studied over 14 years.

As for your speculation about priests and paraplegics ~ If you actually read the data first, before applying your opinion... then you see that people who don't ejaculate at all end up in the middle... not worse.  As for the military... "trust me bro, we're beating it frequently", I assume NASA dudes are the same.

Posted by: @dharmaproject

Instead I suspect that their “research” is only biased opinion. 

Kind of funny.  I post science, research, data.  You give me your "unsupported" opinion that my science is wrong.  But, I'm the one who is "biased".  As I said before "won't debate with someone who isn't willing to accept facts/scientific study's as evidence over opinion."   

Posted by: @happycuckold

By the way, three urologists in one family!  And I thought my family was strange for being heavy in lawyers.  

Yea, three urologist that he doesn't listen to.

Posted by: @stan

I specifically apologize to @HappyCuckold, @dharmaproject, @subhubphx for any negative comments I made about Emma's lifestyle. 

There's no need to apologize to me Stan.  I took and don't take offense to comments made in regard to Emma, Kevin, Andrew or their situation.  Emma is a big girl and can take care of herself just fine.  That said, thank you for the nice gesture.

Posted by: @happycuckold

@dharmaproject. Thanks for that perspective.  You are right that there are too many unknowns to make definitive causal connections between prostate cancer and lifestyle.  So I guess I can go back to being jealous of guys who have had the experience of being caged by their wives?  Lol

By the way, three urologists in one family!  And I thought my family was strange for being heavy in lawyers.  😉

There are actually a lot of unknowns about prostate cancer, but according to this panel of "DOCTORS" who studied this group of 30,000+ men, this is not one of those unknowns anymore.  Open the graphs at the bottom of the study and look at the results.  They are very easy to see in visual form.

Ejaculation Frequency and Risk of Prostate Cancer: Updated Results with an Additional Decade of Follow-up - PubMed (nih.gov)

Conclusions: These findings provide additional evidence of a beneficial role of more frequent ejaculation throughout adult life in the etiology of PCa, particularly for low-risk disease.

Patient summary: We evaluated whether ejaculation frequency throughout adulthood is related to prostate cancer risk in a large US-based study. We found that men reporting higher compared to lower ejaculatory frequency in adulthood were less likely to be subsequently diagnosed with prostate cancer.

Does this seem ambiguous?  Did those graphs that are included in this research study seem ambiguous?  This is a normalized study so arguments against other contributors to prostate cancer are mitigated.  CLEAR evidence that restricting ejaculation to less than 3x/week is bad for your prostate health. 

If you're going to restrict orgasm, it is better for your health to only ejaculate once every couple weeks or not at all.  This is tied to the rise in hormones then reduction, then rise, then reduction when you only ejaculate 1x/week.  I have another study on that somewhere in my files.  I'll see if I can find it.

Bottom line Happy, I wouldn't be too envious of those locked in chastity.  A lot more of them will end up with ED and prostate cancer.  That's what the REAL evidence shows. 

Be well and stay safe!

Stan