FLR Couples Survey

1.

Posted by: @nika

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1) At what point in your life did the idea of submitting to a woman start to appeal to you—or even excite you? I’ve noticed that most of the people and couples I meet in this lifestyle are over 40, and almost all say they wish they’d started far earlier. Does this resonate with you?

Posted by: @nika

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Honestly, it kinda snuck up on me. In my younger years, I’d get flashes of the idea, but it didn’t fully click until my 30s. Back then, I was just starting to think about what real partnership looked like and how power dynamics could play a role in it. But it wasn’t until I hit my 40s that I thought, “Wow, I actually want this.” And yeah, I get why people say they wish they’d started sooner, there’s something freeing about embracing it once you’re ready.

2) If you could set the intensity of your Wife-Led Marriage, what level would be preferable for you? (Levels 1-4)

I’d go with a Level 3. It’s got that sweet spot where she’s in charge and calling the shots, but we’re still a team. There’s room for both of us to have a say, but she’s definitely steering the ship. Keeps things exciting without feeling like I’m just along for the ride.

Posted by: @nika

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3) Are there things you secretly wish your dominant wife or partner would do, but you’re a bit too shy—or reluctant—to ask for?

Oh, yeah, definitely. I think everyone’s got a few unspoken wishes, right? Sometimes, I wish she’d just take the reins on something unexpected, kept me in stricter chastity ,throw in a curveball or push me out of my comfort zone. It’s a little nerve-wracking to ask, though.

Posted by: @nika

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4)If there’s a significant age difference where the dominant woman is younger than the submissive male, does this add an extra spark or present unique challenges? How does it shape the roles and dynamics in your relationship? (This could also apply to non-marital situations, such as with professional Dommes, etc.)

It brings a different energy, for sure. There’s something cool about her having this fresh, confident vibe, and sometimes her perspective is a wake-up call. But yeah, it can add some unique challenges, like different expectations or ways of seeing things. If you’re good at communicating and being flexible, though, it can actually make things more exciting and keep you on your toes.

Posted by: @nika

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5) Have you ever regretted doing something as a submissive (could you explain a bit)?

Yeah, a couple times I’ve agreed to stuff that didn’t quite sit right. It usually happened when I didn’t speak up about my limits, and afterward, I wished I’d been more upfront. Lesson learned, better to be honest than to push past what feels right.

You know, it’s rare to meet someone who’s this curious and thoughtful about what makes a relationship tick. You digging into this? It shows how much you care and that you’re not afraid to take the lead in making things better. That’s one of the things I admire most about you.

Posted by: @nika

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1) At what point in your life did the idea of submitting to a woman start to appeal to you—or even excite you? I’ve noticed that most of the people and couples I meet in this lifestyle are over 40, and almost all say they wish they’d started far earlier. Does this resonate with you?

When I was a teenager, I worked as a messenger for a real estate firm that had several offices.  On one occasion I had to deliver some papers to a sexy older (45-50) woman real estate agent at a home she was preparing for an open house later in the day.  She was confident, even bitchy, arrogant, who did and said whatever she wanted.  I arrived, handed her the papers, and she started flirting with me.  By flirting, I mean it was her telling me that I would be a delicious play toy for her.  I was a horny teenager and got noticeably rock-hard in an instant.  She looked at the pup tent in my pants and told me to remove them (the pants).  I did right away, feeling that I was about to have my very own Penthouse Forum story.  It was.  I was naked and she made me walk over to where she was sitting, and she began stroking then sucking my cock. I came in about three minutes.  She giggled and thought it was cute but told me she was going to do me a favor for all the future girls I would have sex with by punishing me for coming too quickly.  She patted her lap, and I knew instinctively to lie across her lap.  She paddled my bare bottom for a few minutes while imparting her wisdom to me with her words.  There was a knock on the door, and she pushed me off.  It was the gardener who had a quick question, and she returned in seconds.  She ordered me to face the wall, pressing myself against it, and proceeded to spank me more.  She finished by saying that people would be arriving soon.  She told me to dress and leave, then turned and left the room.  I never saw her again (believe me, I looked).  I was in LOVE!  I was hooked but didn't really know it until I married my current wife of 25 years.  Fifteen years ago, she became my Mistress Wife in a wonderful LM.

2) If you could set the intensity of your Wife-Led Marriage, what level would be preferable for you? (Levels 1-4)

3.75

3) Are there things you secretly wish your dominant wife or partner would do, but you’re a bit too shy—or reluctant—to ask for?

Yes, there are.  I wish she would take on a girl slave/lover.  One that was submissive to her but would also occasionally assume the dominant roles with her, and me.

4)If there’s a significant age difference where the dominant woman is younger than the submissive male, does this add an extra spark or present unique challenges? How does it shape the roles and dynamics in your relationship? (This could also apply to non-marital situations, such as with professional Dommes, etc.)

Yes, it does.  My Mistress Wife is 15 years younger than I am.  Early on in our relationship, I was the dominant one.  I was her boss when we began our relationship and started having sex.  We would role-play BDSM and would switch roles.  Over time, I explained to her my desire to be always submissive to her.  Alpha to the world, submissive only to her.  The rest, as they say, is history.  Beautiful history.

5) Have you ever regretted doing something as a submissive (could you explain a bit)?

I can't think of anything.

@subhubphx I always thought it was mostly women who fantasized about being spanked. But I’ve occasionally seen men strapped to those strange cross things in dungeons, with professional DOMs taking the lead. To be honest, if I ever picked up a paddle or a whip, I’d probably burst out giggling halfway through. I’m not a masochist, so I don’t quite see the appeal. But, I have seen some women dive so deep into it that they even end up breaking the skin.

Posted by: @roshi

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@subhubphx I always thought it was mostly women who fantasized about being spanked. But I’ve occasionally seen men strapped to those strange cross things in dungeons, with professional DOMs taking the lead. To be honest, if I ever picked up a paddle or a whip, I’d probably burst out giggling halfway through. I’m not a masochist, so I don’t quite see the appeal. But, I have seen some women dive so deep into it that they even end up breaking the skin.

There's more to spanking than what is commonly portrayed in porn.  For us there are two types of spanking—playful spanking, which is something Mistress K. (my Wife) likes to receive from me on occasion, and punishment spanking, which only I receive whenever She determines it is warranted.  A punishment spanking is designed to correct behavior that she solely decides needs correction.  It's ritualistic and hurts like hell, although she has never felt the need to break the skin ... thank God.  If the offense is egregious enough, she will require me to masturbate to a full orgasm immediately preceding a very harsh spanking.  Those are the worst.  They are rare, but they happen. 

@subhubphx Well, that’s interesting! Not really my kind of dynamic....I mean, I’m more into being the one getting spanked by my boyfriend, not by my sub. But spanking my sub? Hmm... I’ve never thought about it like that. Maybe it’s time to try something new. 😉🍑
I admit it feels sooooo f-ing good. Think I'll have a go with a little bit of playful spanking. Punishment spanking is not really my thing. 😜

@subhubphx Looks like you’re really into this Mommy/Governess thing 😏. I actually did a Dominatrix training program a while back in London,quite the experience! But honestly, I couldn’t wrap my head around how that kind of dynamic is sustainable long-term. I mean, I get it if she’s got another male partner to balance things out... but I dunno 🤷‍♀️. Guess everyone’s wired differently, huh? 😉

Or could she be letting you live your fantasy....maybe...!

@roshi You know, I reckon a lot of people’s submissive desires go unfulfilled for all sorts of reasons. I’ve never come across a woman with a submissive side who’s truly let herself out—not without a bit of coaxing, anyway. And when she’s got a submissive partner, it can get so one-sided unless she’s got a Dominant of her own to balance things out. But then, that brings its own set of complications, doesn’t it?

If she’s got a lower libido, maybe she can manage. But for someone like me, with a higher libido, just having a sub isn’t enough. I need that balance, somewhere to let my own submissive side breathe. It makes engaging with my sub feel real, not some act I’m putting on. It’s tricky, though, isn’t it? Finding the right dynamic where everyone’s needs are met.

Posted by: @roshi

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@subhubphx Looks like you’re really into this Mommy/Governess thing 😏. I actually did a Dominatrix training program a while back in London,quite the experience! But honestly, I couldn’t wrap my head around how that kind of dynamic is sustainable long-term. I mean, I get it if she’s got another male partner to balance things out... but I dunno 🤷‍♀️. Guess everyone’s wired differently, huh? 😉

Or could she be letting you live your fantasy....maybe...!

I don't see our lifestyle as a Mommy/Governess thing.  Yes, we are wired differently, and that's ok.  I am not sure I understand what you mean when you say "I get it if she has another male partner" as it relates to spanking, punishment, or otherwise.  

I don't know if she is letting live my fantasy.  We talk constantly about how that aspect has very little do, if anything, with what she gets out of our lifestyle.  Our lifestyle is based solely on what she wants and what makes her happy.  She has never said or given any indication otherwise, so, who knows.

Posted by: @roshi

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@subhubphx Well, that’s interesting! Not really my kind of dynamic....I mean, I’m more into being the one getting spanked by my boyfriend, not by my sub. But spanking my sub? Hmm... I’ve never thought about it like that. Maybe it’s time to try something new. 😉🍑
I admit it feels sooooo f-ing good. Think I'll have a go with a little bit of playful spanking. Punishment spanking is not really my thing. 😜

To each our own I suppose.  Live your life in the way that makes you happy.

love the answers

Posted by: @nika

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1) At what point in your life did the idea of submitting to a woman start to appeal to you—or even excite you? I’ve noticed that most of the people and couples I meet in this lifestyle are over 40, and almost all say they wish they’d started far earlier. Does this resonate with you?

2) If you could set the intensity of your Wife-Led Marriage, what level would be preferable for you? (Levels 1-4)

3) Are there things you secretly wish your dominant wife or partner would do, but you’re a bit too shy—or reluctant—to ask for?

4)If there’s a significant age difference where the dominant woman is younger than the submissive male, does this add an extra spark or present unique challenges? How does it shape the roles and dynamics in your relationship? (This could also apply to non-marital situations, such as with professional Dommes, etc.)

5) Have you ever regretted doing something as a submissive (could you explain a bit)?

1. When, as a 14-year-old, I had a wrestling fight with a 13-year-old girl and she put me hard on the ground and locked me in one grip.

When I, very embarrassed, had the opportunity to retaliate, she showed that she could play with me and locked my head between her legs.

Then I experienced that the humiliating feeling was suddenly swept away by extreme horniness and submissive feelings under the girl.

After that I always longed to submit to girls and woman and a few years ago I finally got to experience it when I plucked up the courage to admit it to my wife.

2. Level 4. 

3. Yes. I sekretly wish she would Cuckold me by taking a lover and just tell me to acsept and clean her upp when ever she fucked him. 

4. For me, I don't think age would matter. When I was younger, I dreamed of much older ladies than myself. Now I feel submissive to all developed ladies regardless of age.

5. I regretted that at the start of our FLR relationship, I secretly used my wife's feminine/menstrual pads to prevent my men's panties from being soiled with precum. When my wife discovered it, she only thought it was disgusting. 

1) Mid 30s, I think it was the right age for the both of us. 

2) We settled at what I would call 3+ 

3) No, the the only thing I regret is that she wanted me to clean up after PIV. I agreed to it but at the last minute I would always checked out.

4) We were the same age, actually she was two days older than me

5) No nothing at all!!

1) Ever since early puberty I have found myself attracted to strong women. I regularly fantasised about receiving punishment from my teacher and preferred her over the girls in class.

2) We're not the most strict FLR couple, I guess a 2.

3) For me it really is a journey, so whatever has not yet happened might happen in the future. But high on my wishlist is some sort of public display of my chastity cage by her.

4) Maturity triggers me more than young girls. 

5) The only regret I have is that we didn't start all this at an earlier age.

I realized I my late twenties that women are best at managing interpersonal relationships. With that understanding comes compliance. 
At present. I am not in a relationship or married. I do want an FLR. They simply feel natural and are more successful.