Need Advice

That's an awful story, my friend.  I'm your wife lied and cheated behind your back.  Yours is a cautionary tale about how a lack of actual, honest communication can ruin a marriage.  I've always said non-monogamy is playing with fire on a razor's edge.  

I think it has already gone in the wrong direction.  Your wife has eliminated intimacy with you in favor of a man who is not her husband. Nobody can tell you if you should stay or leave.  That is up to you, of course, but I will suggest that you ask yourself if your wife is worthy of your submission and if she is worthy of your future commitment as a husband.

I wish you good luck.

I would seriously stop the FLR. At the time she stopped having sex with you. Did you ask her what was going on? Do you two still love each other? If you do go to a marriage counselor. It’s very hard to love someone when you can’t trust their words. You right about Emma 99% of her blog posts have Consent and communication in them. I can’t tell you to stay or leave that is up to you. Good luck to you my friend.

And yes as you might figure the story is very long and in-depth. I have changed in so many ways. Every time Emma would suggest something different my wife also in acted.those differences. Yes I love her more than anything in the world but it is really torn me apart to not be intamite with her at all. She hadn’t lied to me since coming clean but I just can’t get over not being romantic at all. I really appreciate y’all thoughts and comments. I have read Emma a long time a really rely on her word. Thank you all 

That’s terrible. I’m very sorry to hear that.

If I was in your place, I would stop operating as if I was in an FLR. I hate to say it, but it sounds like she used the FLR stuff you’ve read as a justification to abstain from sex with you and cheat on you. You didn’t consent to her seeing her ex for the past three years without your knowledge. That’s not an FLR built on mutual respect and openness.

Please hang in there and find some strength in yourself. The idea of giving everything to a woman can be amazing, but not all women are worth giving yourself to. You need to believe that you can fully trust the woman in your life before she can get your devotion, and if she breaches that trust, you need to step back and focus on yourself.

Hello,

I bring a different point of view.

Does she enjoy your FLR?

She may not have known how to handle the fact that she could have a cuckold husband. Sometimes people don't know how to handle certain situations.

It is possible that she chose that way of cuckolding because it was how she felt most comfortable.

One possibility is to talk things out without reproach and give your FLR a new dimension.

Sometimes setbacks can become opportunities.

@aries Well said

Yes I have thought about that a lot. But I guess I am still so deeply hurt from the lying it’s holding me back. I mean this when I say I gave her thousands of opportunities to tell me first but she chose the other road. Yes she says she loves me tremendously and I do love her and I love our FLR   But still I go back to what Emma has said in . Her articles that if we are not having any intimate relationship at all then we are only living as good friends. This is really helping me a lot talking about it here with all your comments to help. 

Well, my friend,

I believe that when a wife temporarily loses her desire to have sex with her husband there is absolutely nothing to do. But I think it may be temporary.

I think she has explored cuckolding and FLR in her own way.
If you love each other, it is not necessary to end the relationship.

No man likes a lack of sex with his partner, but women are different.

Sexual desire towards her partner can be temporarily turned off in a woman.
It seems positive to me if she is comfortable with the FLR relationship and chastity.

Don't be depressed, it's not worth it. You can find a hobby.

It is possible that if she sees that you accept things as they are, you can take the opportunity to grow together in every way.

Wow that is pretty deep and truthful from talking to everyone I am going to request a talk with her this weekend to get everything out I. The open again and try very hard to make it. Work.  I keep saying this but I really really love her. Thank you all so much 

@subhubphx fantastic advice. so, om point.

Hi,

I hope everything is ok.

I'm curious to know if SHE has really enjoyed your relationship based on FLR during these three years.

Thank you!

She tells me all the time it is the best relationship she has ever had in her life. I use to take a lot of pride in her saying that but once she told me the truth it just doesn’t have a lot of meaning to me anymore. She is a very dominant woman and relish’s in taking control of every situation. I have asked her multiple times if she wanted to drop the FLR and go to a normal relationship and she said never. She says she is in control and she makes all decisions and things are staying like they are. I also thrive on her dominance and after all this time can’t really imagine her not controlling me. I am really trying to get past the lying and the no intimacy part so our relationship will become a stable platform again. When she gives me my weekly maintenance spankings it does help to free my mind and I can concentrate better on her. I know some of the haters will say I am just bullshitting but everything I have said is the exact truth.

Dude, seriously. Even though you are a submissive man, you have to man up and decide. Are lying, lack of trust, lack of respect and zero intimacy something that can sustain you? Or not.

There is more than one "key" to an FLR.

Sure there is the physical key to your cage (if you are locked), but communication is the real key. Without truthful and heartfelt communication, trust can be easily broken, and trust can be more difficult to repair than anything.