About my wife and I
So my wife and I got involved in FLR and female led orgasm control a couple years ago.
I am a somewhat typical male with a very high sex drive who's wife libido didn't match my own. I masturbated, I looked at porn, I 'cheated' online with women with cybersex and pic exchange. At one point I even almost left my wife for another woman I had met online.
A lot of things happened at this time in our lives, which I won't go into here. The main thing is we began to try to repair our marriage. We tried a lot of new things, many of which now seem silly but we were moving the right direction.
It wasn't until we really began pursuing a female led relationship, at least in the area our sex life, that we really began to see noticeable improvement.
So the most practical internet blog we came across was Yoga Girl's FLR101 blog. Similar to her, we have plenty of sex and sexual activity but my orgasms are limited to about every 5-7 days, when she decides. My wife unfortunately doesn't come to orgasm easily, so we've had our challenges with because I WANT to please her through to orgasm but I've had to learn the many ways to pleasure her that may not involve that.
We have a chastity cage and use it occasionally but not for long periods. For her, she is not annoyed by my sexual advances most of the time, but what we ARE trying to curb is my wandering eyes to other women and my itchy hand that wants to stroke. We have a number of kids so also having the time and privacy to uphold this relationship presents many challenges. Our FLR is focused around sex which is my biggest area of weakness. Other areas of our marriage are probably more traditional.
We've both learned a lot, but I will say this: My wife is my Queen and I have come to see how privileged I am to be married to her. She has been so patient, forgiving and open to trying what works for us that I have no idea why I've been so blessed. We are still striving for these higher heights!
Great intro. I am interested to hear how YogaGirl's blog influenced you and how you brought that into the relationship. Who found the blog and how was it introduced? That blog (may it rest in peace) also laid the groundwork for many of my thoughts about the female led relationship and orgasm control.
I was the one who found her blog, as I generally am the one who is more inclined to search for and find these types of things. However, my wife appreciated her blog just as much as I did. I felt it was a good mixture of realistic FLR combined with a frank discussion of the sexual aspects from a woman's perspective. It was very practical. At the same time I must admit that reading her clinical discussions of how us men behave and what we need was enlightening and arousing in and of itself. Honestly her tantric background I think made us both a little envious of her sexual prowess, but hey, we had something to shoot for.
I have to admit, I really enjoyed the scientific perspective but the tantric stuff almost made me dismiss it completely. I researched a few of her eastern medicine sources and those brought me full circle. She did a great job of citing scholarly articles that provided some very enlightening reading as if her blogs weren't already enough of a compelling read. The practicality of the whole concept is key. You have a man who has constant needs. You control those needs to guide the relationship. Doesn't get more practical and simple than that. I was a bit envious as well.
Were there any parts of her "plan" that you struggled with? Did you try pegging? Eating your own seed? Those are the things that seemed uncomfortable to me at first and they were both a stretch to bring into a relationship. More importantly, how did the things outside your comfort zone make you feel? How did they improve the experience and submission to your wife?
I think the biggest thing I had to come to grips with is making my peace with who my wife is and who she isn't. To accept the FLR terms that she sets without having my own ideas from the things I read in other blogs or articles. That stretches me, and forces me not to have some vague 'submit to women' mentality, but rather a 'submit to my wife exactly as she is' mentality.
We have tried the eating my seed thing - I'd say that was interesting but probably not something either of us like to use on a regular basis. Pegging hasn't happened yet, though it's a fantasy of mine and my wife is considering it. I don't know if she sees so much as a 'tool' for her to use as more of a thing I'd like to try. Time will tell.
I felt it was a good mixture of realistic FLR combined with a frank discussion of the sexual aspects from a woman's perspective. It was very practical. At the same time I must admit that reading her clinical discussions of how us men behave and what we need was enlightening and arousing in and of itself.
I couldn't agree more about Yoga Girl's blog. Like Emma I'm sad to have seen go away, but am grateful for this blog for the very same reasons I loved that one.