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Gynarchy isn't new for me.

nella_bmar
(@nella_bmar)
Active Member

Female role models: Grandma, 1st Step mom, Math teacher (grade 7-9), Paula Abdul, and Madonna.

Male role models: Father, newscasting crossdresser, and John Candy. (Robin williams and Isaac Asimov much idolized..)

When I was very young I was surrounded by boys; Brothers, cousins, young uncles, etc. But They all could go outside, and with my asthma and allergies I was often in the house with the women. Typical women cook, men farm, but this boy saw the inner workings. Grandma, her husband long dead before I got to know her at 5, managed a house after 8 kids had grown and all but 2 moved out, her youngest boys, both in their late 20's they farmed and managed the hardware. Me and my brothers were city slickers, but spent most the summer on the farm.

By 5 my father had remarried, and she had little interest in mothering us boys. I mean she managed us well, but showed little to no interest to spend her free time with us. We cleaned house and obeyed her rule, but she'd go out with her friends and we'd be afraid to touch anything on the main floor... 

I luv'd science and math, was good at it, but from Grades 7-9 I started getting A's, not because it was easy, but because the teacher encouraged me, pushed me, and well, I mightn had a lil tiny crush.. As for Paula and Madonna, sexy beasts for a short nerd who's access to music was.. limited in a none drama oil, education & engineering pre-occupied family.

Until porn at 16, sex was a fairytale and an innocent playful mishap with a cousin or two. I knew of it, but no one in any household was having it that I knew of. I was taking care of my frustrations nightly (to the behest of my younger brother who shared a bunk bed, sorry bro..) The first sexual encounter with another guy who showed me his fathers porn collection, we thought oral between 2 guys would feel the same as between a couple, wow, I definitely enjoyed it more than he did..

From 16-19 most sexual escapades were with other boys my age, then became men online meeting me in street corners or lil hideaways. Then I met a girl online. Until then sex was a frustration that was alleviated by others in similar situations, some was me dressed as a girl, but with a girl, it was new, different, and well, not hidden (we did it at a party, never had a door to shut) I'm sure her sister saw us.

I ended up marrying that girl. We were both virgins in many ways, and neither of us knew what was expected of us. After 2 kids, she found her voice and moved out, not wanting what we had. 2 weeks later I had another gf. and since then I've been a serial monogamous with women and raving slut with men..for the most part.

My last relationship lasted 7 yrs, 3 yrs too long. we tried for children, but after 4 losses, last being still born, she suffered depression and shelled herself up. 3 yrs later she admitted she couldnt connect with me and left. I was glad stayed mostly in guilt. btw: she had sexual partners outside of our 1/2 way open relationship, but they weren't the problem. I promised it didnt matter, and I'd not have sex with anyone else, and even put chastity on the last 3 yrs, but at my own self interests, not her request.

Though I stuck my neck out and made my own choices, many were simplified and accepted by the women in my life. To this day, if I'm heading out to see an ex, I'll ask them what they'd like to see me in. Sometimes I hope they say a dress, but not often. two do share pride parade with me, and that is a good day.

With female bosses, well, i'm not good with that kind of authority, male or female, often questioning what I can get away with, and how to do things in a better way than suggested. Gets me in trouble a lil, had one supervisor yell at me, then lock herself in her office to cry. Had one male supervisor also hate how certain things work, policies and stuff, and he quit instead of fixing it. One introduced herself with an open door, phone policy, but had to tell me to stop calling with lil issues.. not so lil on my side of the fence..

although I did deposit my earnings straight into my last gf's account for most of the years together (until I caught her spending it on a boyfriend), it was more for my interests than hers.

I know I'm not a slave to gynarchy, but I appreciate it, and like it.  I think we should have more baby's in this world, but I also think that's not a decision made by men. Common men with smaller offers can be more helpful keeping other frustrated males busy with their asses and mouths while women have their pick of the top 10% of the more diverse choices out there. At 19 I was doing this with my own goals in mind. Now I can appreciate how I'm helping despite my 1000 yr old indoctrination of breeding goals. (I still have them, they still make me cry at nights, but the chastity helps, and the humiliation and re-education)

please msg me, and feel free to treat me as less than.. just less. for me, it is an acceptable pronoun.

This topic was modified 2 years ago by nella_bmar
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Topic starter Posted : 01/05/2019 11:29 am
attisC, jc5200 and Emma liked
Emma
 Emma
(@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j)
Member Admin

Thank you for sharing, especially the feelings and struggles that you've experienced during your journey. Welcome!

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Posted : 01/05/2019 12:31 pm
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