Emasculation is a good thing!
I found this interesting.
Men are not expected to be: graceful, empathetic, attentive, insecure, shy, passive, indecisive.
The trouble is, many men are these things. They are exactly these things. And many more, who are not, could be. Or could have been if it weren’t for the expectations and examples set for them throughout their lives.
Thank you for bringing this article to our attention. It is indeed rather strange that qualities as these seem to be universally considered weaknesses, and the author does a good job of highlighting all their values. While the "good" masculine virtues have always been held in high regard, I think at various times in history also those currently fallen out of favour were considered essential to the make-up of a masculine man. Just think of the gracefulness on display in Louis XIV's court, or the importance of poetry and an appreciation of the arts and philospohy in ancient Middle-Eastern and Greek cultures.
Good article. I have always had some of those “unmanly” characteristics, but I grew up believing I had to make an effort to be as manly as possible. Since my wife and I abandoned traditional gender roles and agreed to have a wife led marriage, the experience has felt both emasculating and liberating to me. I am happy with it. But I suppose that some men, especially young men searching for a sexual identity, might see an “emasculated cuckold” like me as a cautionary tale. Isn’t it true, after all, that most women are sexually attracted to “manly” men? My wife, for example, likes to go out with men who are more stereotypically manly than me. With them she has penetrative sex. With me, on the other hand, she prefers to have an emasculating kind of sex, with lots of cunnilingus and sex toys, and hardly any penetrative sex. I love this arrangement. But I can understand why some men wouldn’t want to be like me.
Good points made by all. The question of “what is masculine” is a thorny subject. However, the stereotypes and the push to pigeon-hole everyone into a category are frustrating. Open-minded people will figure it out. Men who refuse to accept that some women are just better than they are at tennis or earn more than they do because they are more highly skilled or just worked harder and earned it, either get it or they don’t.
I think we need to be careful not to call these men out as much as help them see the reality through example and proposing a different way without coercive methods. The most attractive women are those inspirational leaders who know how to show someone they are wrong without saying it. In time, the guy realizes his error, which is the first step to change. This often happens without resentment toward the person that just “set him straight.” To the contrary, he develops respect for the way that she helped him understand a different perspective. In time, he may choose a different path. All have benefited from her subtitle approach. Now he respects her. Now she has opened the door. He has become more subject to her influence.