My Love,
We’ve been circling this conversation for so long now. Whispering around it at night. Dropping hints in the middle of our fantasies. Teasing it in our dirty talk. But we always stop just short of naming it.
I don’t want to circle anymore. I’m ready to be honest. I’m ready to be vulnerable. I’m ready to say it plainly to you, the man I love:
I want a boyfriend.
I want a bull.
I want someone who can be my sex toy—our sex toy—and bring back the raw, unapologetic sexual energy I know still lives inside me. I want you to see me at my most sexual, my most alive. I want to share it with you. I want you to help me create it.
This isn’t about replacing you. This isn’t about cheating. This is about us. About reclaiming what we had at the start. My sexual energy, only deeper, richer, and more honest.
You know how much I love you. You know how much I treasure our life together. But you’ve felt it too, haven’t you? The slow drift from wild lovers to best friends. The nights where the sex feels more like an obligation than an adventure. The moments where you can feel my hunger but not quite reach it.
I know you’ve felt the disconnect. I have too. And I’m done letting it happen.
I want to feel satisfied sexually, not just sometimes, not just in a lukewarm way. I want to burn again. I want my body to ache with hunger. I want to be a sexual creature again, in the fullest sense. And I want you to be part of it—not as an outsider, but as my anchor, my confidant, my partner in crime.
You’ve told me about your cuckold fetish. I know it’s not just fantasy for you. We both know this is the way to bring that type of animalistic craving to our marriage. I know you’ve imagined it, me taking someone else’s cock, moaning, losing myself. All while you watch, hard and throbbing, but also proud, supportive, and turned on beyond words. You’ve told me you crave the intimacy of that. You want to see my pleasure first-hand. You want to be there, holding my hand, kissing me, cleaning me, connecting with me.
So let’s stop hinting. Let’s make it real. Lets make our marriage a priority.
Why I Want This
I’m not springing this on you as some wild whim. This is something I’ve thought through. Something we’ve talked about enough to know it’s not just fantasy. Something that couples like us are already doing quietly, powerfully, and lovingly.
Here’s why it matters to me and to us:
- Sexual satisfaction creates emotional connection. When I’m sexually alive, I’m more affectionate, more playful, more confident. That energy spills over into everything—our conversations, our dinners, our trips, even how I show up for you emotionally. When my body is fulfilled, my heart opens with a deep confidence of who I am.
- Supporting my sexual autonomy makes you my hero. When you actively support me in having the sex I crave, you’re not “losing” me; you’re deepening my trust. You’re saying, “I see you. I honor you. I want you to shine.” That makes me want to give you more of me, not less. I know it is important for you to feel like you are my hero, the provider of my pleasure and this is a way for you to feel that instead of the dull pangs of routine and obligation rather than the flames of erotic desire. I trust you and I thank you with my mind, body and spirit. Instead of silently growing apart like the rest of the couples we know, we grow together. Loudly on our own terms.
- This dynamic brings us closer, not farther apart. Because it’s not about sneaking around. It’s about us doing it together. You holding my hand while I take my pleasure. You looking into my eyes as I climax. You being the first and last kiss before and after. You being the one who helps me come back to earth. By experiencing your love and support for a dynamic that will take us both outside of our comfort zone.
I want to show you how sexual I am and how sexual I can be. Not just for me, but for us. It is about him taking what’s yours, what’s ours and you loving me through it, loving me for it.
I don’t want to go off and have some private affair. That’s not what this is. I don’t want anything that will separate my sexuality from you. I want a boyfriend we choose together, that we experience together. Someone who is ours. Someone who respects you and our marriage. Someone who understands that his role is to be our friend in and outside of the bedroom and my lover physically.
This is what modern marriage can look like. This is what female sexual sovereignty can look like. This is what happens when a husband’s desire to support and a wife’s desire to be fully alive meet in the middle.
My Sex Toy / Our Sex Toy
When I say I want a boyfriend, I don’t mean a boyfriend who replaces you. I mean a boyfriend who is part of us. Someone who exists in our world because we both allow it. Someone who holds a place in my pleasure, our growth, our dynamic.
You’ve heard me say I crave a bigger dick. It’s true. I’m not ashamed of it. My body wants that fullness. But it’s not just about the physical. It’s about the psychological shift that happens when you see me taken, stretched, pleasured in a way that I can’t get from you—and you get to witness it, guide it, and share it.
I want you to experience this with me. Not as an outsider, but as the man who knows me better than anyone. I want you to:
- Hold my hand as I take him in, grounding me in our connection. Comforting me.
- Kiss me before, during, and after, reminding me who I belong to emotionally. Make me feel safe knowing that I am with you, not doing something outside of us.
- Look into my eyes as I orgasm, seeing me at my most raw and open as he fills me. Let me thank you with my words as you thank me by allowing another man to be part of our dynamic.
- Aftercare not as humiliation but as intimacy, your loving kisses and tender support as a ritual that closes the loop and brings us back together.
I also want you to understand something deeper about me. I want a man I feel comfortable submitting to with you there to help me feel safe in that submission. I want you to watch me give myself over to him, knowing full well that I will never submit to you. With you, I need the control because you are my emotional partner. My center. But with him, I can let go. I can surrender my body while you anchor my heart. That’s what makes me feel safe. That’s what lets me truly experience my sexuality.
This isn’t about degrading you. This is about elevating both of us. This is about you stepping into a supportive, masculine role and understanding that my pleasure, is our pleasure together. This is about me stepping into my sexual power and you stepping into your supportive power. Show me how much you can support me and love me in this new dimension of our relationship.
It Isn’t Threatening, It’s Transformative
Most people don’t understand cuckold relationships. They think it’s about humiliation or weakness. But the truth is, in a healthy, consensual, female-led dynamic, it’s about strength and devotion. It’s about a husband being so secure in his love that he can allow his wife’s sexual autonomy without fear.
You’ve always been strong like that. You’ve always been the man who wanted me to shine, even if it meant breaking rules. When you push me into the sun, I retreat into the light because I am afraid. I fear losing you and I fear the side of myself that needs this. I feel ashamed that I need more, like it makes me less of a wife. That admission is why we’re here. Your support and strength is why I can even have this conversation.
I don’t want to lose you. I know that I’ve let the sexual energy I bring to our marriage diminish but it’s because I am afraid, it is because I am not confident sometimes. Today forward, I want to grow with you. I want to build a marriage where we’re not afraid to evolve. Where we can explore fantasies and truths without shame. Where your fetish becomes our reality in a way that feeds both of us.
When you see me with someone else, it won’t diminish you. It will deepen us. It will make our bond stronger, not weaker. Because every time, I will come back to you. I will want you even more. I will crave the intimacy only you can give me, the aftercare, the cuddling, the whispers, the little rituals we build together.
This is not the end of our sex life. This is the rebirth of it. This is me accepting the sexual person that I am, rather than experience sex from the standpoint of obligation, I want to experience sex from the standpoint of ownership. I want to own my sex life.
So What Do You Say, Husband?
I’m ready. I’m ready to stop talking about it and start living it. I’m ready to find a bull. I’m ready to find a boyfriend who can be my lover and our tool.
And here’s the part where I ask you, not just to say yes, but to help me make it happen. Because I don’t want to do this without you. I want you to choose him with me. I want you to set the boundaries with me. I want to slowly push those boundaries together and I want you to be part of every step.
So I’ll make a short list of requirements, and I need you to do the work to find a man for us. Will you find me a boyfriend?
This isn’t just about finding just anyone. This is about finding the right man for our dynamic. Here’s what I think we need to look for together:
- Respect for our marriage. He needs to understand he’s entering an existing bond, not replacing it.
- Physical compatibility. Yes, I want him to be well-endowed. That’s part of the fantasy. But I also want him to know how to use it with care. I want him to be well kept and I want him to be tall with a nicely manicured beard.
- Emotional maturity. He needs to be discreet, grounded, and drama-free. This isn’t about chaos this is about a man who wants to be desired and devoured as a piece of meat.
- Willingness to follow rules. He needs to agree to the boundaries we set, times, places, safe words, fantasies, and being respectful of both of us. Individually and together.
- Desire to support us, not just me. He needs to respect you. He needs to understand that your presence is part of my pleasure. Without you there is no him. You are my heart and this isn’t about doing anything to hurt you, he needs to understand that.
If we find a man who meets these, we’ll have a foundation for something incredible.
I want you to picture this. We’ve chosen him together. We’ve talked through every boundary. We’ve met him, vetted him, and set the stage.
We have a beer together, we play darts together, we play pool together. We go hiking together. He is our friend outside the bedroom and my lover within the bedroom. He comes over one evening. I’m dressed in lingerie, heart racing. You’re there, holding my hand. He kisses me, slowly. You watch, eyes wide but soft. I moan, because it feels good—but also because it feels safe.
He undresses me. He fills me. He moves inside me while you watch. I look at you the whole time. You’re right there, touching me, kissing me, whispering to me. I whisper to you, I love you. Thank you. I love you so much.
I climax hard. Maybe harder than I have in years. My body shakes. You’re the one who catches me. You’re the one who holds me. You’re the one who helps me clean up, who strokes my hair, who tucks me in.
I am glowing. You are glowing. We’re closer than ever. He sleeps on my left side and you on my right, we collapse together in bed. This is not a fantasy. This can be our reality. This can be the way we bring passion back. This can be the way we make our marriage modern, alive, and erotic again.
Let’s Do This Together
I’m not asking for permission. I’m need more than permission, I am asking for partnership. I’m telling you what I need sexually. I’m inviting you to help me make it happen. For us.
I know this is a lot to take in. I know it’s vulnerable. But I also know you. I know you’ve wanted this too. I know you’ve imagined it. I know you’re as curious as I am about what it would do to us.
We’ve built a marriage based on honesty. Let’s build a sex life based on honesty too. Let’s be honest about our needs and how that plays into our the honesty of our marriage vows. Let’s adapt our marriage to find passion. Let’s bring in a boyfriend. Let’s find a bull. Let’s stop circling and start living.
Because I don’t want to drift away from you any more. I want to drift closer. And this is how we do it.
So, husband, what do you say?
Love.
Your Wife
This is a sample letter from a wife to her husband, I’ve had countless men and women how to ask their husband/wife about a cuckold marriage. This is how. You communicate directly, you ask and you explain. At length, you discuss what you want from it and what you hope to get from it. So what do you think? Is this something you want for your marriage?
Evolving the Conversation
- How might opening your marriage to a carefully chosen third partner deepen your emotional intimacy rather than diminish it?
- What rituals of aftercare—kissing, handholding, verbal affirmation—would make this kind of dynamic feel safe and bonding for both partners?
- How does seeing your partner’s pleasure (even with someone else) impact your sense of connection, love, and desire?
- What parts of female sexuality and female confidence make this about bringing a bringing a boyfriend into your relationship rather than bringing a girlfriend into your relationship?
- How might embracing your partner’s sexual autonomy actually expand your own sense of power, masculinity, or femininity within the relationship?
Well Emma I have some questions and I hope you can give me some answers.
1) In one of your last blogs you talked about that rejection causes men to shut down and not engage in the relationship anymore.
Now how does it affect the relationship if the wife says “Hey I want someone who can satisfy me thoroughly and you are not the one, so we need to seek someone who can” , because for me that’s a rejection.
When I see it in the best positive light possible, the thought of the man around that subject would something like : “Okay I am the one who she has “normal” sex with, the everyday sex, but she needs someone else to feel satisfied and that will be this bull”
But the question remains if the Husbands contribution is just seen as good enough, but not exciting that too is kind of a rejection.
Now the question to that Situation : How do you avoid that the Husband shuts down because he keeps thinking “well i am just good enough, but i am not really needed in bed with this bull around, I pale in comparison to him, so why try and risk making her feel obliged to have sex with me so she can have her bull?”
That leads to the situation where you are just best friends, confidants and partners (in the best possible alternative how this can play out) but lovers ? Well that seems to be on the declining part and I don’t see how to avoid it with what you described in this Article since the “rejection” (the part of not being enough) will be repeated over and over again
Personally if I get to this point I would probably seek for a new relationship since i don’t see the current relationship working out in the long run.
2) Why must the bull be a friend of them on a regular basis ? I mean , yes the respect and boundaries part is important but why spend more time with him then for the part he is invited into the relationship ?
Because here the dangerous thought comes in “Well she is developing more and more a connection to the bull. Soon i will be just the third wheel here”
To answer some of your Questions on this article:
1 “How might opening your marriage to a carefully chosen third partner deepen your emotional intimacy rather than diminish it?”
The only way I see that work is if both Husband and Wife have an interest in that person, otherwise I just see competition and strife.
3 “How does seeing your partner’s pleasure (even with someone else) impact your sense of connection, love, and desire?”
Seeing it with me that deepens the connection and desire to do more for her.
With someone else ? Sooner or later it just erodes that feeling if no effort is made from the partners side to make it very clear that you are the one she wants to spend the rest of their lives together and that the partner is valued.
5 “How might embracing your partner’s sexual autonomy actually expand your own sense of power, masculinity, or femininity within the relationship?”
ehm..in best case zero ? I really don’t see how someone else’s autonomy increases your own sense of power (what ever that may entail ) or masculinity.
I don’t know where to begin….. No room for discussion….. No alternative plans…. No addressing the disconnect…. No safety net…. No addressing his needs or wants …. No questions …. No responsibility giving in her disconnect…..
Only one way forward or your shit out of luck ….. Talk about loses loses then loses some more …. Oh I’ll be more passionate….. Yah right… Ok just not for me right ? …. That’s how it would feel to most people
Ok I got some questions ❓
1 let’s say your not the one writing the letter your the one getting it how would you feel
2 let’s say you didn’t write the letter or receive it but your a good friend who now has a guy with fear in his eyes showing it to you what’s your honest advice
3 how would you feel if you got a counter letter from someone who got a hold of this and is now using it to take your place …. ( I can and will give all that to him freely and more )
And again I’m not judging anyone but I have experienced this again and again and again all it takes is putting on other shoes and walking around to word things differently to think differently
Remember you have sead over and over again communication love and respect part of that is going through what your asking others to do for you and recognising it for how amazing they are
Well it’s all food for thought 🤔
I assumed that his needs would be addressed in the following conversation after that letter because there where some sentences about honesty and both our needs at the end to spark a conversation exactly about needs and boundaries.
But on the other hand sentences like “You’ve always been strong like that. You’ve always been the man who wanted me to shine” smell like manipulation via the ego. If the last part is not really true then its even more manipulative.
There are many other sentences that talk about “this is for us” “it will help us” and how grateful she would be if someone did this for her….sorry but my 6 sense for being manipulated triggers so often in this article that its not funny.
So to answer your questions :
1) I would feel shocked, hurt and pressured to comply into something i am not sure i really want to try.
2) Well there is nuances for that question depending how good you know the friends partner and if you know both of them well enough to really know what goes on in their relationship form both side. But if only know your friend and his partner that answer would look like the standard answer I am giving my friends all the time :
Are your needs met in this relationship or are there at least possibilities that they will be met in the future ?
If no, then its better to leave before that situation does more harm to you then you can handle. If yes well then listen to your inner voice and your feelings if this is something you want and say no if it doesn’t feel right for you.
I mean you can try how it goes, but that comes with the risk of breaking the relationship very quickly if the friend is not ready for such a thing.
3) Well that is pretty obvious answer and i am sure that Emma would agree with that:
If someone tries to barge in on your relationship uninvited then this person clearly has no respect for the relationship he is “invading” and has no respect for boundaries. So the answer is a loud and clear : Go to hell !
“This isn’t about replacing you.”
But, in reality, it’s exactly about replacing him. Saying otherwise doesn’t change that fact. He’s being replaced. That’s the thing about facts: they can’t be subjectively changed because you want them to be different. Can’t we at least be honest and call it what it is? The husband is replaced as a sexual partner, because, well, she just wants more … and he’s just not good enough for her.
It’s a fact that such an arrangement is something that he truly wants, 100%, all-in wants; or it is something he doesn’t want or like (either initially, or eventually). The latter means the end of the relationship. The former means the relationship has a chance, as long as that fact never changes.
And things change. You know, like the way she said she felt about him sexually in the beginning.
Always love how you read between the lines…..
But now I’m honestly wondering 🤔 I know how I’d deal with this letter but I wonder how would other people like you and I address this to help someone who brought it to us and asked what do I do ?
Yes I have dealt with it in the past but what’s your insight ( let’s keep the frame of these people are our friends so we don’t just tell him to pack and midnight move ) 😂
“… but I wonder how would other people like you and I address this to help someone who brought it to us and asked what do I do ?”
That’s always a hard question because what I’d do, or you might, is my/our opinion only. In the end, my advice would be that if it is something that you would love, then by all means, dive in head first. If it is not, then don’t pretend that it is because if you do, resentment will be certain.
That a very good point to make that I read over when i wrote my comment.
So yeahr inviting someone else can be very dangerous for a relationship, because everyone involved would have to be 100% on board and like the role they will play. Otherwise its just “my needs are more important then your feelings”
I believe most females need more than one cock to stay happy.
I’m not springing this on you as some wild whim.
With all due respect she shouldn’t be “springing” this on him at all. As I stated in an earlier comment, this needs to be done gradually, starting with establishing a FLR, then a locked chastity cage, followed by gradually longer periods of enforced chastity. Only then, when her authority has been firmly established, should she start bringing this up. First some hints, then telling him directly what she wants. Lay a proper foundation first, and your cuckolding experience will face fewer difficulties.
Our sex toy that bitch gots ta go get a boyfriend and take all her bullshit with her. Let’s just step out of the marriage so I can be satisfied and you can be gay babe. Why not have your man bring that bullshit out of you you say you need. This is horse shit again I suspect Chat GPT
This isn’t about replacing you.
With all due respect, that’s exactly what this is – and if the husband wanted to start humping other women his wife would feel she’s been replaced too.
I don’t want to be contrarian here, but dressing cuckolding up in the flowery, romantic psychobabble I’m reading in these posts isn’t going to change the fact that someone is being replaced.
Good story – cuckolding should be fun for all parties – to be a good happy cuckold – stay focus on doing anything to help her cum.
Just like someone before me wrote, this is a whole lot of romantic psychobabble and none of it changes the fact that FLR is the female version of the manosphere bs. There’s no difference between an alpha male who beats his wife “to put her in her place” (because supposedly women like being manhandled)after she asks about his girlfriend vs. a strong dominant woman that brings her boyfriend to her marital bed and throws degrading insults at her husband while she makes him watch her fuck the boyfriend
Degrading the person you supposedly love so you could feel empowered is just pathetic