The physical side of pegging is pretty simple, I spelled it out in this blog about pegging for beginners. Girl puts on strap-on harness, boy bends over, girl puts fake willy into boy. With this blog I'd like to get into a deeper conversation about how to understand each other and the right questions to ask. If you are reading this, I'll assume that you've pegged your partner at least a few times. If not, start slow and come back to this one later.
It is nowhere near that easy and over the course of the last few years we've learned what we like and dislike about this complex nuance to our sex lives. Together we communicate those likes and dislikes to bring a playful love to our bedroom. As with any intimate experience, pegging is a journey of understanding and communication. The physical act can build an intense connection and bring us much closer together. If done improperly, it has the potential to do the opposite.
If communication in relationships is key, communication about pegging is essential. You will even find that communication about pegging before, during and after may elicit different responses due to social stigmas. Pegging is more popular than ever and is consistently ranked as one of the most popular sexual fantasies among women.
Pegging may even be considered trendy amid today's sexual revolution. Trendy or not, there’s still something taboo about it. Something about swapping traditional gender roles and engaging in a dominant/submissive power exchange makes pegging excessively erotic and provocative.
Since the strap-on itself is made of plastic or some sort of material that isn't biologically attached to you, many women feel like pegging is something that they do for their husbands. I'll be the first to tell you that I am psychologically aroused by pegging in a way that I am never aroused by PIV sex.
I'll also be the first to say that pegging is my preferred type of sex, I love the sounds, the movements the post-sex cuddles. I love how he quivers, how he relaxes, how he spasms. I love how he opens his body and makes himself vulnerable to me. Pegging isn't something that you do for him, pegging is something that you do with him. Admittedly, the first time I tried it I wasn't aroused but it was compelling on a psychological level. It lit a spark and completely changed my perspective on sexuality. Pegging makes you feels so powerful and in control.…
Wonderful post. Wish she would try it and we could try out the experience..maybe I’ll discuss it again with her
Great post! I truly wish that there were more woman who really like pegging there man like you. Talking communications, when I expressed my enjoyment of pegging to my girlfriend, she became cold, like she was disgusted? And she would avoid the topic? That relationship faded out I’m glad to say. But it can be difficult trying to broach the subject with my present girlfriend. I want explore it with her, but don’t want to repeat the same experience?
Fan of pegging
It is certainly a delicate topic to broach. Some women aren’t going to be open minded due to societal norms which make the peggers among us to be some sort of sexual deviants. Maybe we are, but they are the ones missing out and I wouldn’t give it up.
When women recommend it to other women, they are much more receptive and less put-off by the idea because it normalizes things. Don’t sabotage your relationship but dropping subtle hints might work. If you feel like she might be receptive, try Ruby Ryder’s podcast or something from this site. Don’t act overly forceful about it, maybe a surprised “I expected to read this and laugh but I’d actually consider trying, if this is something that interests you.” If she doth object, drop the subject.
If the conversation piques her interest, also drop the subject and wait for her to ask more questions. If she doesn’t ask follow up questions after a few weeks or months, bring it up again. Maybe watch a tv show or movie that has pegging references and say something like “I’d try that”.
Some movies and tv shows with pegging references:
Broad City season 2 episode 4
Deadpool
https://www.reddit.com/r/StraightPegging/comments/9sr1i0/pegging_on_tv_or_in_movies/
Great post! i have little experience, but it profoundly marked me. As a youngster, the first Domina i met had a fem sub pegging me on the first session, and afterwards. It’s crazy, but the connection was SUPER intense, as was the submission. In a twist, my whole image was transformed into that of a slave to the Domina as i paid attention to Her while i was being pegged. i was even super careful/respectful to the fem sub that pegged me. It’s such a very special connection.
Spectacular post Emma. Thank you. I have sent so many of your marvelous collection of words to my Mistress Wife because of the real-life, realistic, non porn-fueled perspective from a modern woman. She loves that and so do I
Additional suggestion, once he is comfortable push the head in until he can feel the pressure on his prostate, push past by the length of the head. Take your finger and circle the shaft right where it meets his anus. That is your depth marker, short aggressive strokes almost all the way out and back in to your marker. If he was getting close to orgasm that might be enough to push him over.
Also do not underestimate the importance of orientation, the top of the head should be towards his prostate. Especially important if your dildo has a curve to it.
Wow! What a great, thorough and extremely informative article.
My wife has pegged me a few times and I loved it. Unfortunately it has not become a regular activity as I had hoped. Perhaps by sharing this article with her it will at least get us started on communicating about it.
Thank you!
You’re welcome!
There are a few other articles about pegging on the site too. I find pegging liberating, empowering and fun! Both Kev and I really enjoy the twist it adds to our sexual repertoire. Interestingly enough, I think we both enjoy the emotional side more than the physical side although he is very clear that he enjoys the physical side too.
This post resonates with me. Pegging is so very essential in our relationship. We have sex 3 or 4 times per week and the majority of that is pegging. I have endometriosis and vaginal sex can be very painful. We started pegging during an especially painful episode. My sexual confidense came slowly. I was timidly cuddling at first. Slowly I gained more confidense he enjoyed it more. Now I wear my strapon to bed sometimes and cuddle with him while we watch tv in bed just to feel myself as the big spoon presed up against his bum. The biggest thing for me is the technique of sliding it all the way in and all the way out, from this technique he had his first prostate orgasm which was incredible and unexpected for both of us.
Holding his hips tightly and doing from behind is our position for sure. I love the movements of his body that I can feel. Pegging is wonderful. Thank you for posting this.
This is true to me also. The mental aspect for both of us is fucking outstanding.On days where I want to get down and dirty I always text my husband through the day with overtly sexual demands for it.I’m going to fuck you tonight, you’re ass is going to be sore tomorrow. I wonder if you are going to be able to walk after what im going to do to you tonite.
It sounds overly sexual but he responds very well to it. It also sets expectations of what kind of sex we are having so he can prep himself for the fun.
Thank you , my arabic husband is still ashamed even though i pegged him several times. It’s because of the society and how men are supposed to be dominating and he isn’t
First I’ll say I’m not an expert in pegging as we’ve only done it a dozen or so times in the last few years. But, I am occasionally able to have a prostate orgasm from this experience. I think I’ve spotted a couple of problems with this post if you’re trying for a p’gasm during pegging.
As can be seen in the “where the prostate is” diagram, it’s near the base of the penis. If you don’t contact the prostate during pegging, pegging won’t result in a prostate orgasm. Just like if you don’t make contact with the clit while piv, she won’t have a clitoral orgasm from piv.
If you look at the doggy style chart for pegging, the “expert position” provides the LEAST prostate stimulation. The beginner position provides the most prostate stimulation.
Emma, “this” is why Kevin is arching his back when you play doggy style.
We find that pegging while standing with a straight or slightly downward angled dildo, or missionary with my ass slightly elevated and a slightly upwardly curved dildo gave us the best results for making contact with the prostate. So, I encourage you to look at the diagram of where the prostate is and think about if the position you’re using will stimulate the prostate.
Hope that helps. Happy pegging!
XXX Same blog, different comment.
As previously stated, I’ve been researching sex for a while. There isn’t much I haven’t looked over. So, I can say without a doubt that the chart provided for doggy pegging positions in this blog is ACTUALLY a position chart for real “dog sex”.
The reason for different positions is a dog has a large knot that swells at the base of it’s cock – on a Great Dane it can literally be as big as a softball. If a woman lets the knot swell inside her pussy she will get stuck, knotted, or tied as it’s called. If the knot is forcibly removed it can tear the woman’s vagina.
If inserted into a woman in beginner position the knot will not stay stuck in the pussy. However, if the woman assumes expert position while the knot is swelling inside her vagina, she will trap the knot in her pussy.
Once tied she will be stuck with the dog until the swelling goes down. Depending on the size of knot, if the woman or dog try to pull away, it could tear the vagina… so she truly IS stuck. The dog will stay tied for 10 to 15 minutes ejaculating the entire time (5x – 10x more cum than a man produces) until the knot shrinks an the dog can pull out.
There you go. More than you ever wanted to know about dog sex.