Hi Anonymous Man Evolver! This is a wonderful story and it mirrors experiences and thoughts I've had. That acceptance and affirmation is comforting, heartwarming and removes guilt and relationship anxiety completely. I too agree that reclaiming is important because it shows both partners true acceptance and a deep love. It should be stated that reclaiming and reconnecting are very different. Reclaiming is a typically sexual act which is done to take back the sexual energy while reconnecting as a mostly emotional experience of the couple coming back together and finding their strength. That is not to say that reconnecting is not physical, in my relationship it typically is.
In the hotwife or cuckold world, the female loans herself to another for the purpose of her sexual satisfaction. Note that it should be very clear that the man is not loaning the woman, she is not his property. She is loaning her sexuality to another man with the understanding and consent of her husband. While this may seem like a small detail, it is an important distinction to make.
Reclaiming consists of the male being sexual with the female to bring the focus of sexual energy back to the primary couple. Now this is purely psychological and the female was never truly owned by another while she was away. In fact, I find myself thinking of Kev often while I am playing with others, it is only natural for my mind to drift. The concept of reclaiming is interesting and I'd argue not necessary for all couples depending on the dynamic and level of comparability with the situation. New couples should absolutely practice reclaiming as it reasserts the male's claim and will be a wonderful way to reduce anxieties surrounding a new sexual dynamic.
More seasoned couples may still wish to reclaim however it might seem less and less important as time goes on. This is in contrast to reconnecting and aftercare which are far more important. It is interesting that reclaiming in your message was oral. Reclaiming is typically vanilla sex, missionary position and just a simple reminder of the primary bond. It may be oral in your situation due to the presence of ED but I think him placing his mouth where your lover's parts had been is a beautiful affirmation of acceptance. Reclaiming shows that things between the couple remain constant and unchanged despite whatever happened and will bring much confidence back to even the most questioning of partners. Reclaiming isn't just for the man, it is wonderful for the wife as well. While she may have been satisfied by another, allowing an additional sexual experience from her husband will bring security and affirmation of love from her primary partner. Reclaiming for some couples may be the only way allow both partners to fully enjoy their cuckold/hotwife type experiences.
For scenarios where an ejaculation happened inside of her, the proximity of the male to the other man's seed may be deeply arousing. For other men, they may choose to wear a condom to prevent fluid contact. Others may choose to do oral sex in this sort of situation to clean the woman up prior to penetrative sex. Regardless of method, reclaiming should be about reclaiming intimacy and shifting emotional energy and not about reclaiming you as an object that is passed from one man to another. You are of course not an object to be passed around but a beautiful human full of desires and feelings.
Reclaiming and aftercare for some couples may be as important as the rules they establish with the sexual experience. The fact that you stated your husband's reclaiming was more pleasurable than the experience with your boyfriend is especially poignant. While it might not be the case every time, this is a strong reminder of just how big of a part of sex is emotional. Don't forget your emotional needs everybody!…
