I’ve always been opposed to feminization. I am female; a strong and empowered female who knows what she wants. My husband is male; a strong and subservient male that tends to all of my needs. I’ve explored being with a woman and it isn’t my jam, I really prefer men so why on earth would I want to feminize him? I don’t want to take away his masculinity from his identity, he is masculine and he is a wonderful supportive man. None of the terms that define our relationship, sub, cuckold etc make him any less of a man in my eyes. He has not expressed interest in feminization but it seems to run rampant in the circles in which we run. Namely it seems like femininization is perhaps an act of further submission by stripping his masculinity from him. I’m not sure I want that but let’s dig a little bit deeper.
Consider for a moment that feminization doesn’t take his masculinity but it brings him closer to his inner femininity. A cute pair of panties don’t make the woman, nor do they take from a man his masculine energy. What they do is aid in submission and aid in shifting the power balance away from the patriarchal construct and lean further into your female led relationship. As female, your feminine energy will of course be stronger and will guide him as it amplifies the feminine energy in both of you.
I am not speaking of permanent feminization here, I am speaking only of feminization during sexual play including perhaps pegging or erotic roleplay. This dress-up play is a great starting point an while it is limited to sexual play, you shouldn’t underestimate the psychological impact that it will have on him. Dressing for you will likely make him feel exposed, submissive and perhaps a bit humiliated. It has the potential to reduce his male aggression, increase his feminine understanding, make him more attractive in a new and exciting way, make him more submissive and make him more gentle.
Femininity is not humiliating. Let me repeat that, femininity is not humiliating. Dressing a man in panties and a skirt is no different than you wearing jeans and a polo shirt. Yes you heard that right, there is nothing degrading about dressing feminine despite society potentially telling us otherwise. If he feels degraded or humiliated, it might make sense to have him wear feminine articles while lounging around the house and possibly while he does chores. This can be approached as no more than a dress up game for you to enjoy together but it will deepen his understanding of women over time. He will almost undoubtedly become a more attentive lover in the bedroom. Another unexpected benefit is the acknowledgement of female sexual energy will add – not subtract from his overall sexual energy. His levels of sexuality will become more well-rounded and less dependent on gender. Exploring the feminine side of his sexuality will push him out of the box that society constrains him with and might just help him experience his own sexuality in a new and exciting way.
This can be no more than a kinky game that you play together or perhaps you lock and panty him as part of a weekly ritual of some sort. Embracing femininity takes a weight from his shoulders and allows him to experience life from a new angle. You can keep this very vanilla or you can give him a female name and adjust pronouns during your gender play.
Why would we replace the social construct of masculinity with the social construct of femininity and expect that to somehow make him a better partner? What we are doing is identifying the social constructs and embracing them to show compassion, acceptance and understanding. We cannot fully understand social constructs until we embrace and accept the things outside of our comfort zone. Are we oversimplifying femininity by telling him that a pair of panties makes him a woman? Absolutely not, the panties don’t make the woman as much as the strap-on doesn’t make me a man. What it does, is bring inward different gender attributes and allow us to normalize play and acceptance of those traits.
In our home, we don’t go too far with femininity but he does have some panties and outfits and I ask him to dress for me on occasion. He has one pair of heels and watching him try to walk in those is a gas. This isn’t for everyone and I’d never recommend that you force-feminize him because the goal here is not humiliation. Leave that for SPH or other types of bedroom play. Being feminine is not shameful and it never has been. Males in our society are afraid of playing with dolls, the color pink and expressing their emotions. This is about allowing the man you love to release control of his male side to accept and embrace portions of his female side. This isn’t for everyone but I invite you to give it a try if you are so inclined. You might find that his cage pairs quite nicely with a cute pair of panties.
My Wife struggles with this. She has a Love/Hate relationship with those high testosterone men and toxic masculinity levels. She is attracted to the super fit, hung, confident and aggressive men. She loves their sexual energy and stamina but hates their egos and toxic behavior. She wants her Bulls full of testosterone but doesn’t want that behavior that goes with it constantly around her and in her home. Chastity allows her manage the Dopemine crash I experience after orgasm. She get to control when it’s convenient for her. I feel we share more then most couples. She gets to live her best life with her best friend and also has the ability to have that high testosterone sex she deserves without the negative downside those men often bring to a relationship.
We’re like you and Kev. Ms. K. wants her submissive/slave husband to be alpha and dominant in every aspect of life, except for my love and devotion to her. She has no desire to turn me into a pseudo-woman, not even in the least. But she does, at times, put me in a pair of thong panties because she thinks it’s cute that I would wear because she wants me to.
I will admit that they can have a profound effect on me as her submissive. Especially if being put in panties is a prelude to pegging. One of my sexiest memories was when she was out with the girls. She called me and told me that I was to prepare myself for return home and that she was going to fuck me when with one of her “boyfriends” (dildo). She said she wanted me to be clean inside and out, shaved smooth, “smelling pretty,” and wearing my red thong panties. It put me immediately into a feminine state of mind, and that the sole purpose of my preparations was to make myself sexy enough for my Mistress to have her way with me. I had nearly two hours to “primp” and prepare, and my instructions were to be standing just inside the door wearing only my panties when she arrived.
It was amazing! The preparation alone put me in subspace so by the time she arrived, I was an absolute puddle. When she bent me over the couch, pulled my panties to the side, pushed her finger in my bottom, and whispered a command for me to get on the bed on my tummy, I almost came right then.
So yeah, some feminization can be fucking incredible for even the alpha-ist among us sub-husband.
This is such an amazingly accurate article to me at least. Neither my wife or myself have any interest feminization as humiliation it’s all about the intense pleasure that comes from the reversal of societal roles. I’m a large gender conforming blue collar man my wive is the embodiment of femininity. So when we each do a complete 180 and get to express these hidden parts of ourselves it’s not just a sexual release it is a deeply spiritual one as well. As a man It was an absolute revelation to feel sexually desired in matching pants and bra. To put it lightly it’s hard to see the world the same way after being pounded from behind by your loving wife when she’s daddy and your her baby girl 🤤
Part of the appeal comes from inverting the male gaze.
Imagine the feeling, as a heterosexual man, to look in the mirror and see the image of a male fantasy. There’s a part of you thinking “Phwoar! She’s hot. I’d like to fuck her!”. Another part of you knows it’s yourself you’re looking at and with that comes a mix of shame and excitement. Meanwhile, your cock is locked in chastity and you know you won’t be doing any fucking tonight. Maybe getting pegged, if you’re lucky. And you want it. So bad.
It’s a glorious head fuck: You can’t fuck the hot chick in the mirror, but you can be her. Just for tonight.
🫦
Recognize some of the pics in this blog post from Homme Mystere. That’s a great place to buy lingerie for men.
To raise the SPH to a new level try having your partner wear a male transformation thong from koalaswim.com
Great article – my hubs is alpha male to the core, but our sex life has many variations, one is forced feminization. He will wear women’s panties, bra and receive all kinds of humiliation when we are in a cuck/femdom sex event……its not necessarily his style but it is our collective enjoyment. It works for us for some great sex sessions