I’ve been married to Ryan for almost twenty years, and while we’ve always had a solid relationship, life’s stresses have taken a toll on our sexual connection. We’ve built a wonderful family with two teenagers, and managing the household alongside parenting has left me feeling overwhelmed. It’s impacted my desire for Ryan, and I’ve been searching for ways to reignite our intimacy. At the same time, I’ve been feeling a strong need to regain control over my life, especially in the bedroom.
For years, our dynamic was one of equals, and it worked well for us. But lately, I’ve felt an urge to take on a more dominant role with Ryan. I need to feel in control, to assert my power, especially when so many aspects of my life feel chaotic and out of my hands. Unfortunately, this new dynamic didn’t align with Ryan’s needs, and I started to wonder if our relationship had run its course.
One day, while searching for ways to reignite our intimacy, I came across the idea of cuckolding. At first, I was shocked, but the more I read, the more it appealed to me. The idea of having control, of “doing something to” rather than “doing something with” Ryan, filled a deep desire within me. It was a way to regain control and dominance in our relationship and our sex life.
Feeling nervous but determined, I brought up the idea to Ryan. We sat down and had a long, open conversation about it. I explained how I’d been feeling—stressed, overwhelmed, and in desperate need of control. I told him about the idea of cuckolding and how it might help me feel more empowered. Ryan listened carefully, and to my surprise, he was open to exploring it with me. He shared his own feelings and fantasies, and we realized that this could be something that might work for both of us.
We decided to take it slow and set clear boundaries. We talked about what we were comfortable with, what our limits were, and established safe words to ensure we both felt secure. This open communication was essential, ensuring that we both felt heard and respected.
We started gradually introducing cuckolding elements into our sex life. At first, it was just me flirting with other men in front of Ryan or sharing fantasies about him being with other people. Seeing his reaction to these scenarios was thrilling and empowering for me. It was as if a whole new world had opened up, giving me a sense of control and excitement I hadn’t felt in a long time.
As we got more comfortable, we began exploring Ryan’s fantasies. I directed him in consensual bisexual acts, which was a big step for both of us. We watched bisexual pornography together, and I guided him to experiment with toys. The power exchange was exhilarating—I set rules and tasks for Ryan, reinforcing my dominance. This could be as simple as having him wear specific clothing or perform certain acts that emphasized his submission and my control.
Through this process, I felt more empowered and in charge. The thrill of orchestrating our sexual encounters, of being the dominant partner, was deeply fulfilling. Ryan, too, found excitement in the humiliation and experimentation. It was a new dynamic for both of us, but it allowed us to grow closer and explore new facets of our desires.
I vividly remember the first time I directed Ryan to perform a bisexual act. It was intense and incredibly arousing. Seeing him submit to my will, knowing that he trusted me completely, was an incredible feeling. It made me feel powerful and in control, which was something I desperately needed.
As women, our bodies go through significant hormonal changes, especially as we age. It’s normal to feel a shift in sexual desire and to crave control when so much feels uncertain. If you’re experiencing similar sexual dullness in your marriage, know that you’re not alone. It’s perfectly natural to want to regain some control and explore new dynamics. Giving up on a marriage at this point would be insane—starting over with a partner who doesn’t know you would throw all the comfort and years of communication out the window.
Humiliating Ryan in a controlled, consensual way makes me feel in control. Directing him to sexually submit to other men by means of bisexual acts and other ways makes him feel weak to me, rather than powerful and in control. Ryan always seems so in control of life, and I resent it because I often feel like I’m on a roller coaster of emotions, going after life fast and loose. This power dynamic, where I can make him feel vulnerable, helps balance our relationship in a way that fulfills us both.
Ryan also has a normal-sized penis, but both of us find it arousing to make fun of his size, especially when we’re around other men who are much larger. This humiliation play is a key part of our dynamic—it reinforces my dominance and his submission. It’s thrilling for me to control these scenarios, to see him blush and squirm. It’s a way for me to assert my power and feel in control.
As we continued to explore cuckolding, it became clear that this wasn’t just a phase—it was a long-term arrangement that worked for us. It rejuvenated our marriage and helped us grow into new sexual roles. For me, it was about reclaiming control and fulfillment in my life, both inside and outside the bedroom. For Ryan, it was about exploring his fantasies in a safe, loving environment.
Our journey into cuckolding has brought us closer together, deepening our bond and opening up new ways to connect emotionally and sexually. We continue to communicate openly, respecting each other’s boundaries and desires, and this dynamic has become a fulfilling and integral part of our relationship.
We’ve discovered that this arrangement allows us to be more honest with each other about our needs and desires. It’s brought a new level of intimacy and trust to our relationship that I didn’t think was possible. Ryan and I have grown in ways we never expected, and our love for each other has only deepened.
So here we are, nearly twenty years into our marriage, exploring new territories and rediscovering each other in the process. It hasn’t always been easy, and there have been moments of doubt and insecurity, but we’ve faced them together. And through it all, we’ve found a way to make our relationship stronger and more fulfilling than ever before.
If you’re feeling similar sexual dullness in your marriage, don’t give up. It’s normal to want to regain control, especially as your body changes hormonally. Open up to your partner, communicate your needs and desires, and explore new dynamics together. You might find, as we did, that it brings you closer and reignites the passion you thought you’d lost.
“The idea of having control, of “doing something to” rather than “doing something with” Ryan, filled a deep desire within me.”
“ Directing him to sexually submit to other men by means of bisexual acts and other ways makes him feel weak to me, rather than powerful and in control. Ryan always seems so in control of life, and I resent it because I often feel like I’m on a roller coaster of emotions, going after life fast and loose. This power dynamic, where I can make him feel vulnerable, helps balance our relationship in a way that fulfills us both.”
To me, it seems like revenge inspires her. How can that be healthily sustainable?
Is it revenge or is it simply a desire to tip the scales in the other direction temporarily? Only Fallon and potentially her therapist know for sure.
If I read it correctly, it doesn’t sound temporary. Some permanent things have taken place. But it ends with her saying they are good. So there you go.