When we think of intimacy in any form, aftercare often steals the spotlight. It’s all about coming down gently, ensuring emotions are stabilized, and basking in the glow of what we’ve shared. But what about beforecare? Yes, beforecare—a concept that’s as underrated as it is magical. It’s not just about getting ready for a moment; it’s about intentionally crafting a shared mindset, ensuring both partners feel supported and valued before stepping into something exciting or vulnerable.
Kev and I had a moment not too long ago where beforecare became the unsung hero of our connection. It was a reminder that nurturing a partnership isn’t just about the highs and the afterglows—it’s about grounding each other in love and assurance before stepping into uncharted waters.
Kev and I were planning a date—not the usual kind where we hit a local bistro or watch a rom-com in bed. This was different. It involved another man, someone I was genuinely thrilled about meeting. I’ll admit, I was buzzing with excitement, and perhaps a little too openly. I’d been gushing about how attractive this guy was for days, and while my enthusiasm was genuine, I could tell Kev wasn’t sharing the same energy.
I checked in with Kev and he admitted, “I’m feeling uneasy about this. I know you’re excited, but I’m not sure how I feel.”
He was being honest, and I appreciated that. His feelings were valid, and I knew this was a big ask. Honestly, I was feeling a touch anxious too. This guy was, well, hot. Kev wasn’t just comparing himself to a new dynamic; he was staring down the insecurities that sometimes creep into long-term relationships.
Kev’s vulnerability made me pause. He’s not just my husband; he’s my partner, my best friend, my anchor. If he was feeling unsteady, it was my role to help steady him—not out of obligation, but because I wanted to.…
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