Ask Emma: Bringing A SPH Fantasy to Life Without a Third Party

Hi Emma, my name is Allison, and I need your advice. My husband recently opened up to me about his fantasy involving humiliation involving penis size. At first, I didn’t know what to think. I’ve always been happy with his size! He’s on the slimmer side, but I married him, didn’t I? I know your website is about cuckolding but I have zero interest in bringing another person into our bedroom, but I love knowing that I turn him on and that I can fulfill his fantasies. I want to try this for him, but I don't want to harm our marriage or make him feel mean or guilty in the process. Can you help me figure out how to incorporate my husband's new fantasy without a third person?

Hey Allison! First of all, I just want to say how incredible it is that you’re so open and supportive of your husband's fantasies. It’s clear you two have a strong relationship where trust and communication are key, and that's such a solid foundation for trying something new—especially something that might feel a bit out of your comfort zone at first.

You mentioned that you don’t want to involve another person in the mix, which is great! There’s no need for anyone else to be a part of this until such time you decide that step is right for you. SPH can be an intimate, playful way to connect with your husband and make him feel excited and vulnerable with you alone. It’s awesome that you’re ready to dive into this without compromising what feels right in your marriage. So, let’s talk about how you can ease into SPH in ways that are comfortable for you and, at the same time, give your husband exactly what he’s looking for.

First things first—remember that SPH is more about words than actions. Men often find this type of humiliation arousing because it taps into their insecurities in a controlled environment, where they feel safe with a partner they trust. By bringing those insecurities to light, you sexualize them, flipping the script in a way that makes it a turn-on rather than a source of anxiety. It’s like saying, “I see this thing about you, and I love teasing you about it because I know you enjoy it too.” The beauty of SPH is that it’s all about the mental game, not the actual size of his penis. You even said it yourself—you’re happy with his size, and you married him, so we know that you’re in a good place sexually.

So, how do you start? Since your husband’s fantasy revolves around his penis being “small,” play into that with humor, light teasing, and, most importantly, words. He’s not actually looking for you to hurt his feelings; he wants you to pretend like his size is an issue, exaggerate it, and make him feel like he’s a little inadequate—in the sexiest, most fun way possible. You can absolutely do this without ever feeling mean-spirited or crossing lines. Think of it as a sexy game or a playful, flirty act.

One fun way to introduce SPH is by incorporating a cock sleeve or extender during sex. These sleeves add both length and girth, and might be something you both end up enjoying. The reality is, once he removes the sleeve, he will look noticeably smaller, which is the perfect opportunity for you to make a cheeky, teasing comment about the size difference. It can be as simple as, “Wow, that was normal sized and now, — now what happened?” You’ll likely find that once the comments start flowing, they become more natural. The first time I used a sleeve with Kev, I couldn’t stop myself from laughing at the size difference, and I playfully said, “Aw, hey there, little guy!” in a whiny, almost baby-talk voice. It wasn’t even planned; it just came out because the contrast was so obvious. And let me tell you—he loved it.…