Why Do I Feel Sad After Sex? – Postcoital Dysphoria and Evolutionary Perspectives

It’s a phenomenon that many of us experience but few talk about—feeling sad after sex, even when it’s good sex. A sense of sadness, emptiness, or agitation may follow, leaving you wondering, "Why am I feeling this way?" It’s not about physical discomfort or unsatisfying sex; it’s more of a complex emotional shift. Despite the pleasure, a wave of negative emotions can come crashing down, sometimes immediately and sometimes lingering. What is this feeling? Why does it occur? And why might we have evolved to feel these emotions after sex, rather than simply feeling pleasure and satisfaction?

This phenomenon is known as Post-Coital Dysphoria (PCD), or Post-Coital Tristesse (a term derived from French, meaning "sadness after intercourse"). The condition involves experiencing feelings such as sadness, agitation, melancholy, or anxiety after engaging in sex. It can last anywhere from a few minutes to a couple of hours and occurs despite the sex itself being consensual and pleasurable. This blog dives deep into the scientific causes behind PCD and explores evolutionary reasons for why we may feel bad after sex instead of basking in positive emotions.

Before we dive into the science and evolution of post-coital emotions, it’s essential to understand what PCD actually is. Post-coital dysphoria refers to a complex emotional response that occurs immediately or shortly after sexual intercourse. It is not confined to a specific gender, nor is it exclusive to unhealthy relationships. Studies show that both men and women experience it, though it may manifest differently across genders.

One study revealed that around half of women experience PCD at some point in their lives, with approximately 5% reporting it regularly. This condition is also prevalent among men—approximately 40% of men reported experiencing PCD in their lifetime, with 4% experiencing it frequently.

So why does this happen? The answers lie in a combination of physical and psychological factors that occur during and after sexual activity. Understanding these dynamics requires exploring both the neurochemical reactions involved in sex and the broader social and emotional elements.

Sex is an intricate experience involving a complex dance of neurochemicals, hormones, and emotional processes. Orgasms are known to trigger a release of endorphins, the body’s natural "feel-good" hormones. These endorphins contribute to the pleasure and satisfaction we experience during sex, making us feel relaxed, euphoric, and content. However, post-orgasm, a flood of other chemicals can shift our emotional state quite dramatically.…