As I lay with my husband like I have so many times before, he pushed himself into me but this time was different. This time I didn't want that from him. Not tonight. Tonight I didn't want that from him. My hand guided his penis up and away from my pussy with each of his attempts. I held his body close to me and whispered "no baby" and caressed his tummy with my hand. He stopped and we lay there for a long time and I knew his heart ached. My desire was for Ryan and my heart was thinking of my lover and our upcoming weekend tryst. I had to be honest with my husband, right? Before too long, my husband began to grind himself against my stomach. I held his penis with each thrust and he eventually came on his tummy, it didn't take long. This was a special moment for us and an important step in our journey together. We laid together for a few moments more before he simply asked, why?
My heart is with Ryan and I, I, I just can't with you. Not right now, I stuttered.
Will we ever? He asked with a timid but inquisitive tone in his voice.
I could hear the hurt in his voice and I replied of course, my love, just not now. Not tonight. In my mind I couldn't fathom wanting to be with him in that way again. Not with the way Ryan made my heart race and my mind fill with lust and excitement. I knew it would only pass and my sexual recoil from my husband was only temporary as it has been in the past. My body falls for the latest fling but my mind and my heart stay with my husband for always. I am wired for passion and lust and my loving husband provides emotional security and consistency but our passion and lust pales in comparison to the newness because we have intense closeness and intimacy.
Our therapist guided us through this troubling realization as we learned about how I was wired. She called it the limerence period and she said that I thrive on it, I am addicted to it. She went on to acknowledge that most women do not experience life changing sexual experiences and extreme orgasms with their primary partner. This is the relationship cycle and is simply how things work. When couples learn how their bodies work, they evolve to a new level of excitement and satisfaction.
Most evolved relationships in fact benefit from the man gathering his emotional and sexual connection from his female partner while the female is open to meeting her physical and emotional needs from multiple males in a fully transparent and consensual manner. The key to this type of marriage is not only the male's acceptance but the male's support and permission for the wife to pursue and enjoy these types of experiences as an expression of his love for her. In fact studies even show that nearly 60% of men are wired to have fantasies of sharing their female partners as an expression of love and gratitude for the sexuality and femininity that their partners bring into the marriage.…
“My desire was for Ryan and my heart was thinking of my lover and our upcoming weekend tryst. I had to be honest with my husband, right?”
“My heart is with Ryan and I, I, I just can’t with you.”
We’re all different, I get it, but this would destroy my world.
Harsh words and I can imagine that it took some very deep introspection to come to those difficult conclusions. Also to understand that the fleeting obsession is but a temporary distraction.
“My heart is with Ryan and I, I, I just can’t with you.”
Perhaps it works for them. From an outsider’s perspective I have to wonder if Ryan has consented to put himself in an abusive relationship.
Yeah, I’m not sure I get it either. The info I’m getting from trying to understand this blog is that cuckholding is about separating your sex drive from your emotions, but that doesn’t seem to be the case here.
I guess the question that I keep returning to while puzzling over this phenomenon is why the husband’s heart isn’t also free to wander, then return back to his wife?
This blog pulls on evolutionary biology to explain that women’s dual mating strategy is to get her needs met by multiple men, but evolutionary biology also asserts that men are biologically wired to spread their seed to as many partners as possible.
Why not just go seed-spreading with a younger, tighter replacement while wifey’s heart is with Ryan? I’m seripusly not asking out of irony…what would be the problem there?
I don’t see it as abusive nor would it destroy my world.. as the husband in a similar arraignment, one of the things I enjoy most is the concept of my wife owning her sexuality to such an extent that even our sexual times are a reflection of her desire.
I enjoy the detail as I enjoy the heightened state of arousal that it creates. It’s neither cruel nor demoralizing for me and as she says in other parts of the post, the intimacy isn’t gone, it is just different.
I agree, Parklife. My wife have had a similar arrangement, and I also enjoy the idea of my wife “owning her sexuality”…and owning mine too. I find that my wife’s sexual freedom has deepened our intimacy. When your wife tells you that she loves you but prefers to reserve penetrative sex for another man, there is a deep feeling of vulnerability that opens you up to a kind of intimacy that would otherwise not be possible. That might not work for all couples, but it works for us.
As someone who is trying to wrap my head around this, intellectually I get what the author is trying to say. Understanding would would not help.. That denial would end me. I would feel relegated to the friend zone. If a man said that to his wife he would be called all kinds of names. Now that you have the stable situation, you can go chase the alpha dogs that excite you. Own your sensuality but two sided not one sided is fair. The risk should be equal.
This is a pretty emotional, yet titillating entry. After reading it a couple of times… wow! I would be interested in seeing if your anonymous Twitter contributor has more stories for you to publish.
The thought of a woman you deeply love, telling you, that as a sexual partner you’re not good enough and she needs more….WOW!
I am turned on and have cuck angst from reading this!
Honesty is the best policy. If a woman prefers a better equipped man for her sexual pleasure, then her husband or B/F must accept this, especially if he’s undersized. Explain the situation, lock him up in a secure chastity cage, and go out on your date(s) This is far better than sneaking around and cheating on him. Just remember to have him dress you for your date, assign domestic tasks to be completed when you get home, and be sure he listens attentively and respectfully to your version of the events. A very nice way to end a day like this is for her to get into bed with her husband or B/F (locked of course) and spoon him. Make sure he can feel your boobs on his back, gently grind your womanhood into his tailbone. He’ll go to sleep hard and aroused as he should be, she’ll go to sleep sexually fulfilled – as she should be! 🙂
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