Let's face it—humans are pretty straightforward when it comes to how we perceive relationships, especially men. We tend to categorize our connections into two neat little boxes: sexual and nonsexual. Sounds simple, right? But here’s where it gets interesting (and a little tricky). Once you’re put in that nonsexual box, it’s surprisingly hard to climb out of it.
So, how does this happen? Well, think about your daily interactions with your partner. Are they filled with flirtation, a little innuendo, or that cheeky touch that says, “I still find you irresistible?” Or have things become more about logistics, grocery lists, and whether or not the dog needs a bath? If it’s more of the latter, you might be slipping into that nonsexual territory, and honey, that’s a slippery slope.
When we first start dating, our brains are practically swimming in that hormone cocktail that makes everything feel hot and heavy. It’s why even the simplest touch or the slightest hint of sexual innuendo can send shivers down your spine. But as time goes on and life settles in, that cocktail gets diluted with responsibilities, stress, and routine. The result? You start to see each other more as roommates than lovers.
But here’s the kicker—this shift isn’t just about how you think about your partner. It’s about how your body responds to them. When you stop engaging in sexual interactions or even sexualized interactions, your body stops serving up those spicy hormones that make your heart race when they walk into the room. And once that happens, you’re no longer seeing each other in that sexual context that’s so crucial for maintaining that deep, intimate connection.
This is where things can get a bit tricky in long-term relationships. You might find yourself in what I like to call the “nesting partner trap.” It’s that point where you feel more like best friends living under the same roof than lovers who can’t keep their hands off each other. And while having a strong friendship in a relationship is fantastic, if that’s all there is, you’re missing out on the fireworks.
So, how do you avoid this trap? Or, if you’re already in it, how do you climb your way out? The answer lies in keeping the sexual context alive in your interactions. And ladies, sorry to say, but this is something we often have to initiate.…
