Have you ever heard that the best marriages start as friendships? We're told from a young age that the key to happily-ever-after is falling for our best friend. It’s sweet, sure, but let’s take a closer look at what happens when we trade passion for friendship, and why it often comes up short when it comes to sexual satisfaction. After all, intimacy and friendship are only one slice of the delicious pie of attraction—and a slice often mistaken for the whole dessert. But is your best friend really the ideal partner, or is that myth holding us back from a more fulfilling experience?
Here’s my take: while friendship-based marriages can provide comfort, security, and trust, they can lack the novelty, excitement, and yes—raw attraction—that often spark those white-hot, heart-racing encounters we long for. Many of us have wondered, “Where did the passion go?” or found ourselves wishing for a bit of that initial thrill. Let’s break down why this happens and explore how modern marriages are evolving to let us have our cake and eat it too.
The idea that friendship leads to lasting love is everywhere, in part because it sounds logical. Who wouldn’t want to be with someone they enjoy hanging out with, who knows their favorite takeout order, and who they can chill with every Saturday night? It’s safe, dependable, and feels secure—qualities we’re often told are the gold standard for "true love."
Historically, marriage wasn’t always about romance or attraction. In many cultures, it was a practical arrangement for security and survival. A best friend model fit that role perfectly, and over centuries, this kind of relationship turned into what society presented as “ideal.” Fast forward to modern love stories, and that logic still lingers in our collective consciousness. But guess what? Modern marriage doesn’t always thrive on friendship alone. Human connection isn’t just about emotional intimacy; we’re wired for sexual novelty, and that is where friendship sometimes falls short.
There’s an interesting phenomenon called the “Coolidge Effect,” which suggests that animals—including humans—are wired to seek novelty for sexual satisfaction. Ever notice how exciting a new fling feels? That spark and rush are often missing in long-term, best-friend-style relationships because, well, you already know everything about each other! That same comfort that makes them your go-to confidant can quickly become a passion-killer in the bedroom.
When you fall in love with your best friend, you may unknowingly put them in a “safe” zone, which your mind eventually translates as a “non-sexy” zone. You adore them, you trust them, and you want them to be happy—but where’s the raw attraction? Many of us discover that after we achieve that “best friend” ideal, we’re still longing for that sizzling chemistry. And trust me, there’s nothing wrong with that; it’s only natural!…
This structure allows both partners to maintain their best friend foundation while also creating room for novelty and excitement. Cuckolding can bring out a whole new side of passion and intimacy that just doesn’t happen in a “traditional” best-friend marriage.
This sounds thrilling (especially for her) but please allow me to play devil’s advocate for a moment: There he sits, penis locked securely in a chastity cage, aching and throbbing with sexual frustration, edged, teased, denied, pegged, cuckolded and humiliated, watching the love of his life screwing another man. How did this become a “good thing” for him??
If all plays out like you say I got to agree with you kinda sounds like a raw deal
Unless that what he wants
Most people would find some kind of compromise…… Hmmm 🤔 maybe that’s something Emma should talk about
“How did this become a “good thing” for him??”
It was a good thing for him ONLY if it was what he wanted. If it’s a fetish for him, or if he was being a simp and only “wanted it” because it was what he thought she wanted from him, there’s a better-than-average chance that he will feel differently at some point in the future, and no longer want the love of his life to fuck other men. Neither of which he may even be consciously aware of. If that comes to be the case, how does she/he/they unwind it? Is it even possible?
Be careful what you ask for.
I get where you’re coming from—it’s natural to wonder how all this could be a “good thing” for him. Here’s the key: many men have this innate drive to make their partners genuinely happy, even if it’s in ways that might look unconventional. For a lot of guys, seeing her joy and excitement in new experiences actually fulfills a deep need in them to feel useful and valued. His submission and willingness to support her fantasies are huge gestures of love, and satisfying her in this way gives him a unique sense of pride and purpose. The trust and vulnerability involved in this dynamic create a fresh kind of closeness and validation that’s just not there in a traditional setup.
I understand. In fact, after reading about all those monarchs in past centuries with their harems of women and multiple wives (not to mention the sister wives of the LDS group) perhaps male cuckolding and FLR’s are nature’s way of bringing humanity back into proper balance. 🙂
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