I received the following comment on one of the older blogs and I felt like it was worth publishing as a standalone blog because it provokes some interesting commentary and constructive dissent about this site; something that I love! I embrace any and all respectful opinions because - what good is this site if we can't all use it to learn together. I'd like to welcome a new user @jessie. While not new to chastity, he is new to this site and shares what I feel are some very useful experience and opinions.
No Jessie, thank you. I very much welcome the opinions and additional perspective that you've conveyed above. I agree with much of it, especially the fact that chastity doesn't stand on its own. Chastity is a tool to help couples who care deeply for each other and are willing to go to great lengths to repair what a relationship that they find valuable. You are absolutely correct that many men would scoff at the prospect of locking their manhood in a cage.
While I agree with most of what you said, I do want to highlight that male orgasm does in fact release hormones that are intended to reduce bonding. Our bodies truly are not designed for the monogamous pair bonding that our society holds dear and many parts of our anatomy are quite literally designed to create conflict. While we may be in a committed relationship, our hormones and neurotransmitters are at constant odds with the pair bonded bliss that we seek.
First, a quick primer on hormones and the roles they play.
- Lust = Testosterone & Estrogen
- Attraction = Norepinephrine, Serotonin & Dopamine
- Sleep/Satisfaction = Prolactin
- Attachment/Love = Oxytocin & Vasopressin
After orgasm, women experience a boost in both Oxytocin & Vasopressin which boost the bonding between two partners. In men, Prolactin is released during orgasm. Prolactin creates a feedback loop in men that decreases desire and creates a feeling of sexual satisfaction. The cure for blue balls. This is the cause of the sleepy post-sex feelings that make him roll away from you to support the male refractory period. …
Hey Emma and everyone.
Let me just develop some of my ideas here: when I say that the naturalization is silly i don’t mean it doesn’t exists, but that it’s not very relevant. I see a lot of guys trying chastity as a form of self improvement – just like the drug from a movie called Limitless, where this pill makes the guy super motivated, heals his depression, gives him a supernatural memory and etc… Looks like the expectations are really high huh?
Maybe not cumming can make us feel more energetic and more motivated. So does a good cup of coffee, or a can of RedBull. Sadly RedBull is not a tool to improve a marriage…
You talk a lot about teasing in this blog… have you ever wondered if teasing is not the responsible for the improvement? And I mean it without the chastity part. Maybe guys feel valued when teased. Seems like a improvement to some relationships to me. One that’s not really related to the color of one’s balls.
Just something to think about…
Posting something openly critical of your own website takes a truly special person. Thank you for the open and welcoming approach you take to everything Emma.
You may be right, but is Emma being critical of her site, or of the overwhelming majority of people that wrongly assume that the magic of this thing we do here lies solely (or mostly) in a cage? There are so many nuances involved on a general scale discussion about enforced chastity, which don’t at all include the individual special nuances that each of us experiences individually.
I absolutely agree with you that Emma’s approach is open, welcoming, and above it all, valuable.
Btw, the site doesn’t let you know who “liked” your comment, so I’ll tell you it was me! Have a great night!
I greatly appreciate how Emma invites conversation and offerrs different perspectives and interpretations. Combined with respectful dialog, a healthy atmosphere is created.
I have found that being I’m chastity has made me more attentive to my Wife. Not just sexually. I am doing more to help in the house and do more for her.
So being deprived of masturbation has given me more energy and more focus on the relationship.
I think (Emma please correct me if I misrepresent what You say) that this is the selfless transformation that chastity brings.
However, the man has to embrace the importance of placing his Woman above himself. The irony, by serving Her, he serves himself with greater happiness in the relationship.
If Kev is having insomnia, will you unlock him to administer a dose of Prolactin to help alleviate sleeping difficulties?
“That they fear falling in love or attaching emotionally to others and how it would damage a primary relationship?”
Yes. I believe this applies to many women including one that I love very much. Is it because of post hormonal release? Who knows … but a question for you – Who’s post hormonal release are you referring to, and “post” what?
That linked study talks about Prolactin increasing in both men and women by 400% in a small sample size.