This sounds like a bad joke but these three stereotypes are thrown around frequently these days, at least in my circles. I want to draw some parallels with submissive men and men in female led relationships. Are you a simp, a cuck, a nice guy? Let's start with some overly simplified definitions that we will be using for the sake of today's conversation
Noun - A simp is someone (male or female) that does way too much for someone that they like.
Noun - A cuck is a man who accepts and often encourages his wife or girlfriend have sex with other men. The female form of the a cuck is a "cuckquean".
Noun - Men (or women) who believe that basic social operations are currency for sex.
I wanted to define each of these terms before we start because they are often used interchangeably despite having very different meanings. You will hear many of these terms used as insults with the intention to insinuate effeminate, unmanly or inadequate men that allow themselves to be dominated by their female partner.
Doing things for someone shows that you care about them and can be used to project your interest in someone else. My interpretation of a simp is someone who is "friend zoned" but continues to be overly kind with the expectation of nice-ing their way out of the friend zone. One of the Urban Dictionary definitions that rang true to my experience is "a man who puts the hos before the bros". Few self-identify as a simp, the term is most often used as an insult by men and women alike. Simpish behaviors are almost always a negative thing and should be avoided.…
Being a cuck, is not the same as being a submissive male. Are cucks often submissive? Yes, but not always and certainly not always outside of the bedroom. The enjoyment of watching or knowing your wife having sex with other men, is completely a different thing from being a sub male in a femdom relationship. Porn, and many femdom pages/blogs have mixed these two up together.
The simp thing, has zero to do with any of these discussions imo. That is a person that has no self worth and is trying to make up for it by fawning, in an unhealthy way, over someone else, looking for approval. I literally look at as a mental health issue. Does a sub male do chores or take care of his dominant partner? Often, but it should not be in an unhealthy way and over the top, constantly fawniing for her approval.
The nice guy, hmmm, isn’t that basic male behavior? ??♂️
I agree that one of these is not like the others but my odd man out is the cuck since it might be positive or negative depending on how it is approached. My personal opinion is that both simp and nice guy are similar but they are unhealthy manifestations of what you call basic male behavior. The nice guy is missing the entire point of a healthy relationship. In a healthy relationship, the partners do things for each other to make the partner feel desired, appreciated and loved. Once feeling loved, the couple may be intimate with each other. The nice guy cuts the middle of that equation out and expects that gifts and chivalry equal sex. For many women, myself included this equates to transactional sex. You might as well give me a fist full of cash and call it love. Not hot. Not hot at all. The sheer beauty of male chastity is that it removes pressure and takes any chance of transnationality out of the sexual aspect of the relationship.
Many men get frustrated during their first foray into chastity after vacuuming, doing dishes and giving their partner backrubs and find a massive disappointment when that “only” equates to praise. Chastity shows him with time that a healthy human relationship cannot be transactional. I do think that all men have an expectation of sex and many are perfectly fine with a transactional nature in a relationship but this is only viable for a short time. It will not be rewarding for the man and it absolutely will not be rewarding for the woman. A relationship is a healthy balance of love and lust. Without both, the relationship is unhealthy and unlikely to be sustainable. Remove lust and you have friendship (friend zone), remove love and you have a fuck buddy which will quickly die when the lust fades.
Is male chastity a a training tool? It can be; especially for many men with unhealthy expectations and poor parental relationships from which to mold their adult relationships. Thank you so much for your comment, it allowed me to explore and clarify my take on this better. At face value the difference can appear to be a very fine line however that is just the tip of the iceberg, the rest sits just beneath the surface of the water.
Another excellent article Emma! I know you know this already know this, but no matter how hard we try to avoid, using terms/names to label can become incredibly difficult and confusing from the sheer diversity of people/couples. A “submissive man” for example. I believe you aptly described many submissive men as being
“Most submissive men are successful professionals that require them to be in control during work hours.”
I fall right into that description … kind of. Successful, in-charge, alpha big-shot at work in our community, and submission to my wife, yes, but not submissive to women. Please don’t confuse that with not being a respectful and a gentleman toward other women. I try to be those things to everyone. My submission tendencies, activities and desires are laser-beam focused on one woman.
All that said Emma, I know you weren’t speaking to me directly, and as such, I completely agree with what you have said here.
I love this next part.
“…… lay in bed with your hands by your side and watch your partner masturbate. Once she finishes, roll toward her and cuddle with her. Simply enjoy the pleasure that she experienced from her orgasm and expect nothing further.”
This is one of my favorite things Mistress allows me to participate in. In fact, when she’s done, I thank her for “our” orgasm because it is the only orgasm I usually get to enjoy. That might sound bad … but it isn’t. I LOVE our orgasms. Does that mean I have the potential for being a loving and supportive cuck? Perhaps, if that were ever something Miss K. desired.
I agree Emma. Submissive men, be they submissive to all women or just one woman, are all of those things and none of things!
Is the term “simp” an online reference or can it be applied to both online and in person? I always thought that the term was used to describe a man who sends money to women online on a regular basis through various video services or whatnot, onlyfans, youtube, ect.
I’ve heard it applicable to both online and in-person.
What a fantastic article! Just when I think I’ve heard it all, I’m presented with terms unbeknownst to me: such as “Simp” and “Nice Guy.”
Years ago, a very special woman in my life had recognized something in me that I was completely unaware of, and she truly opened my eyes as to the type of man I’m naturally designed to be and that is a cuck.
I’m not ashamed of being a cuck. I honestly believe people are born naturally designed as heterosexual or homosexual, it’s not a choice…Similarly, I also believe certain men (like myself) are born naturally designed cuck’s, also not a choice.
In fairness, it’s safe to say that many men at some point in their life may have had curiosity concerning homosexual desires and perhaps even dared to dabble, realizing afterward that it wasn’t comfortable and not something they would ever want to pursue.
My point being, just because you may have fantasized about sex with another man and even gave it the so called “College try,” certainly doesn’t make you homosexual or even bi-sexual, much like fantasizing about being cuckolded may turn you on and make for wonderful “masturbatory fodder,” doesn’t make you a cuck.
It’s a difficult life for men like me because we do all that we can in order to have what so many others have and we wind up incredible unhappy. Trying to “fit in,” we routinely have the “average” relationship while dying inside because we actually need and belong in a cuckold relationship.
The stigma of the term, combined with all the nonsensical, ridiculous, obscene pornography that’s been unfortunately and unfairly attached to it, has in many ways made it impossible for cuck’s to find a woman who would love and appreciate having this with a gentleman.
Women are very concerned about being viewed and labeled as whore’s, sluts, etc. and who could blame them?
Furthermore, in spite of what the damn internet likes to push, the BBC theory and interracial aspect of cuckoldry is an example of an extremely small percentage of those who truly share this beautiful relationship.
It’s also important to note that the idea that every cuck is a “sissy” in chastity, one who wears women’s undergarments, stockings, or maid outfits is completely BULLSHIT!
I’m 6’2″ between 215-220 pounds with a masculine build. I would NEVER consider wearing panties or stockings and if any man ever referred to me as “sissy” God help that poor stupid bastard, his hospital bills and dental work will cost a fortune.
Most cuck’s are quite the alpha in public and also the last type of guy you would ever want to call a sissy. We are VERY protective of the woman we love and adore.
Certainly her pleasure is put first, but nothing is a bigger priority than her safety.
My ex and I had a perfectly acceptable understanding, I was always to be present with whomever SHE CHOSE to be with. If the other man had an issue with that, then we simply said thank you and good luck to you.
Let’s face it, there were plenty of other men who would be more than willing to be with her while I was in the room.
The only reason chastity was introduced was because she had an issue with me masturbating without her being present. She explained it as being a form of mental infidelity. When masturbating, men typically think of other women or they’ll often watch other women in a porn. When they orgasm, most likely (if not definitely), they’re not doing so with their love on their mind.
That made sense to me and I agreed to chastity because I wanted HER to be happy. It’s a sacrifice for any man to do this and it wasn’t my idea or desire, but knowing it was HER desire; made the decision extremely easy.
Sorry for rambling…great article Miss Emma and I genuinely look forward to reading more.
I’ve used many labels in the past, from textbook middle child, to hedonist, to homewrecker, to simp, sissy, – hedonist seems to be the overall best though I aspire to be genderqueer. I’m 7 yrs asexual despite my hedonistic ways, and though highly sexual, and my ex’s would dissagree, I am not a sex addict in any medical way. Though I think I’m more of a functionally depressed than addict..
That all said..
I’m a sissy because I like the less manly expectations, I’m a good boy/nice guy because the women in my life more than expect that, they’ve beaten it into me. I’m a simp because I catch myself putting way more effort into a very unballanced relationship than I feel I should. and I totally wish I could simp for ProjektMelody without it being $$$..