Hello, lovely visitors to my little wet spot on the internet! Today, we’re talking about how to approach your husband when you’re interested in exploring a cuckold relationship. This is a question I’ve received from Sally (not her real name) and several others, and I think her situation is something a lot of women might relate to. So, let’s get right into it, shall we?
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ToggleSally’s Situation
Sally wrote in with a story that probably feels familiar to some of you. She and her husband were chatting about their sexual fantasies one evening, and out of nowhere, he brought up the idea of cuckolding. At first, she didn’t quite get it. I mean, why would any guy be into something like that? But curiosity got the best of her, and she started looking into it.
To her surprise, the more she learned about the fetish, the more intrigued she became. The idea of finding a friend with benefits to “treat” her husband with some cuckolding action once a week began to sound more and more appealing. And though it seemed almost too good to be true, Sally found herself fantasizing about the thrill of it all—especially the thought of bringing home a creampie for her husband. The only thing holding her back? She’s worried about how to bring it up without hurting his feelings or damaging their relationship.
So, let’s help Sally out, shall we? This one is for you if you’re in a similar boat, or you’ve heard about this fetish but aren’t quite sure how to go about discussing it with your partner.
Why Did He Bring It Up?
First things first, Sally: your husband brought up cuckolding because he’s genuinely into the idea. Whether it’s something he fantasizes about or a lifestyle he’s seriously considering, it’s a desire he has, and he’s shared it with you because he trusts you. That’s a big deal! It means he feels comfortable enough to be vulnerable and open with you about something that’s clearly important to him.
Now, this doesn’t mean you need to jump into bed with someone else straight away. The fact that he hasn’t brought it up again might mean he’s not sure how you feel about it, or he could be waiting for you to process the idea before discussing it further. He may not even know how he feels about it. Either way, communication is key here. You’ve got to talk to him about it, but don’t worry—we’ll get to how you can do that in a minute.
Understanding the Fantasy
Before you have that all-important chat with your husband, it’s crucial to understand what this fantasy means for both of you. Cuckolding isn’t just about the act of sleeping with someone else; it’s about the emotions and power dynamics involved. For some men, it’s about the thrill of seeing their partner with someone else, the feeling of humiliation, or even the excitement of the taboo.
For you, Sally, it sounds like the idea of being with someone more passionate and intense is appealing. That’s completely normal! You mentioned that your husband is more emotional and gentle during lovemaking, and while that’s lovely, sometimes a girl craves a bit of wild passion, doesn’t she? The good news is that cuckolding can be a way to explore these different sides of your sexuality while still maintaining a strong connection and potentially even strengthening your connection with your husband.
But—and this is a big but—you need to make sure this is something you both want. Cuckolding can bring up intense emotions, and it’s not for everyone. The last thing you want is to dive into this without being on the same page, only to find out that it’s more than either of you can handle.
The Conversation: How to Bring It Up
Okay, so let’s talk about how you can bring this up with your husband without hurting his ego or making things awkward. Here’s a simple plan to guide you through the conversation:
- Pick the Right Moment: Choose a time when you’re both relaxed and in a good mood. Maybe after a nice dinner or during a quiet evening at home. You don’t want to spring this on him during a stressful time or when he’s distracted. Have a few drinks to loosen up the conversation but this needs to be a generally sober conversation because drunk ideas hit much harder when you sober up.
- Be Honest and Open: Start by acknowledging that he brought up the idea of cuckolding and you weren’t overly receptive about it because you didn’t understand it. Mention that you did some research and it got you thinking. You could say something like, “Remember when we talked about fantasies, and you mentioned cuckolding? I’ve done some research and I’ve given it some thought and I’m curious to learn more about what that would mean for us.”
- Ask Questions: This is where you can get a sense of what he’s really interested in. Ask him if it’s something he fantasizes about or if he’s serious about trying it. Does he want to role-play, or is he thinking about something more real? Let him share his thoughts without interrupting or judging.
- Share Your Feelings: Once he’s had a chance to talk, it’s your turn. Let him know that you’re intrigued by the idea but that you’re also nervous. Share your fantasies, like the idea of being with someone more passionate, and your concerns, such as the risks of unprotected sex. This is a great time to discuss boundaries and what you’re both comfortable with. It is important that you share your feelings and also the motivating factors about cuckolding.
- Refer to Resources: If you’re both on the same page and want to explore this further, you might want to check out my blog on the Cuckold Homework Assignment. It’s a great way to start the conversation about his needs and desires while also setting the stage for what you’re both looking for in this dynamic.
- Keep the Conversation Going: This isn’t a one-and-done talk. Cuckolding is a big step, and it’s important to keep communicating as you explore it. Check in with each other regularly, set aside time for this specific topic, talk about how you’re feeling, and make adjustments as needed. Remember, this is your relationship, and it should be a source of joy and satisfaction for both of you to explore the things that stimulate you both sexually and psychologically.
The Fantasy vs. Reality
One thing to keep in mind, Sally, is that there’s a big difference between fantasy and reality. The idea of cuckolding might be incredibly hot when you’re thinking about it, but actually doing it can bring up a lot of emotions. That’s why it’s so important to talk and to go at a pace that feels right for both of you.
You might decide to dip your toes in the water with some light role-playing before jumping into the deep end. Or, you might decide that this is something you both want to explore fully. Either way, the key is to be honest with each other and to prioritize your relationship above all else.
The Creampie Fantasy
Now, let’s talk about that creampie fantasy of yours. I love how naughty you’re getting, Sally! The idea of bringing home a creampie for your husband can be incredibly arousing, but I totally get your concerns about unprotected sex. It’s a big risk, and it’s important to be safe and responsible.
If this is something you really want to explore, you’ll need to have an open and honest conversation with your potential partner about protection, boundaries, and health. Some couples choose to use condoms and still play with the idea of a creampie through other means—like using a lube or fluid to simulate the experience. It’s all about finding what works for you and your husband while keeping things safe. Consider that like all new sexual experiences, cuckolding loses its emotional impact over time so why not start slow with baby steps and tackle one fantasy at a time. The creampie idea might be something that you work up to once you’ve established a regular partner and you both get tested for sexually transmitted infections.
What Would He Do, Anyway?
When it comes to cuckolding, humiliation is a topic that needs careful consideration because it can be a crucial element for some and a deal-breaker for others. For certain cuckolds, the thrill of being humiliated—whether through teasing about their inadequacies or being reminded of their role in the dynamic—can be deeply arousing and central to their experience. However, for others, the idea of humiliation is absolutely abhorrent and could lead to feelings of resentment or emotional distress. This is why it’s so important to have an open and honest discussion with your partner about whether humiliation has a place in your relationship and, if so, to what extent. Every cuckold relationship is unique, and understanding each other’s boundaries and desires is essential for creating a dynamic that’s satisfying and respectful for both partners.
Embrace Reclaiming
Reclaiming after a cuckold experience is a powerful and often essential practice for maintaining the emotional bond between you and your husband. While it may seem strange at first, the act of reclaiming helps to mend any temporary rift that might have been created by your time with another man. It reassures him that, despite the unique dynamic of your relationship, you still belong together as a couple. Psychologically, reclaiming can provide a sense of closure and reaffirmation, allowing him to feel secure and valued in the relationship. Some people might view reclaiming negatively, associating it with a sense of ownership over one another. However, I believe it has nothing to do with ownership in a possessive sense. Instead, it’s about reaffirming your partnership and the deep connection you share. Reclaiming can be a beautiful way to reconnect and remind each other that, no matter where your sexual exploration takes you, the bond you share remains strong and unbreakable.
A Word on Emotions
Finally, let’s touch on the emotional side of things. Cuckolding can be a rollercoaster of emotions for both partners. For your husband, it might bring up feelings of excitement, arousal, and even jealousy. For you, it could be a mix of empowerment, pleasure, and perhaps a bit of guilt. That’s why it’s so important to keep the lines of communication open and to be there for each other every step of the way.
If at any point either of you feels uncomfortable or unsure, take a step back and reassess. There’s no rush, and there’s no need to push yourselves into something that doesn’t feel right. Remember, this is about enhancing your relationship and making it even stronger, not creating tension or hurt feelings.
Conclusion: No Regrets, Just Love
So, Sally, the takeaway here is simple: talk to your husband. He brought up cuckolding because it’s something he wants to consider exploring with you, and now that you’re interested too, it’s time to have an open and honest conversation about what this could mean for your relationship. This may be something that a sexy conversation can satisfy or perhaps you will be a full-on cuckold couple in thirty days time.
Whether you decide to dive into this lifestyle or keep it as a fantasy, the most important thing is that you and your husband are on the same page. As you explore each other’s desires and boundaries, you’ll find the right balance that works for both of you. And who knows? This could be the beginning of an exciting new chapter in your relationship, filled with passion, connection, and mutual satisfaction.
So go ahead, have that conversation, and enjoy the journey together. No regrets, just love.
Telling your husband you want a cuckold relationship is the easy part. Creating the right setting for a positive response is more difficult. She might start with a subtle FLR, once this is established, and he’s accepted her dominant role, a locking chastity cage would be the the next logical step, along with training him into gradually longer chastity periods. Next would be some SPH (even if he’s of average size) and a few weeks of subtle hints that needs something “bigger” to fulfill her needs. Once this setting is firmly in place, he’s sexually aroused, but securely locked, and knows the only hope for release is to please her, then…it’s time for her to say something like “You’re the love of my life, but you’re not enough for me. I want another man to fulfill sexual needs” (Don’t ask him – – tell him!) By this time he’ll be used to obeying her, and will usually agree to give it a try. If he does not agree, don’t give up, carry on with the chastity training, along with some edging, teasing, ruined orgasms, keeping aroused, but locked. Carry on with more subtle hints she needs something bigger then , after a few weeks, tell him again you want another man. It may take several cycles of this, but In time his resistance will weaken, and he’ll eventually agree to give it a try. Good things, sometimes take time.
Exactly. This man gets it!
Thank You. Just a creative writing exercise. 🙂
“If he does not agree, don’t give up, carry on with the chastity training, along with some edging, teasing, ruined orgasms, keeping aroused, but locked. Carry on with more subtle hints she needs something bigger then , after a few weeks, tell him again you want another man. It may take several cycles of this, but In time his resistance will weaken, and he’ll eventually agree to give it a try. “
It seems like a blueprint for tricking the husband into eventually agreeing to do something that he doesn’t want to do. Then what? Live happily ever after?
It seems like a blueprint for tricking the husband into eventually agreeing to do something that he doesn’t want to do.
subhubphx – Yes, it is a blueprint, and so it should be. Please remember we’re talking about a FEMALE led relationship here. What she wants takes priority over what he wants. If she wants him caged, edged, and cuckolded, then that’s how it will be. 🙂
Ridiculous. Consent doesn’t matter then? Is all of that critical communication that gets talked about here all the time supposed only to be one way with no regard for the submissive’s needs? He already said he doesn’t want the cuckolding. Ignoring that fact and plotting and planning to systematically make him accept something he already said he doesn’t want is despicable. By your logic, if she simply just wanted him to be without arms, he should accept it. Where does it end?
Diabolique, efficace, une fois sous contrôle, encagé, la FLR devient toute puissante, elle pourrait même le faire devenir Lopette au service d’un Maître pour qu’il soit dressé en Sissy, indigne de pénétrer sa Maîtresse Domina, sa Déesse soumise à ce Grand Maître !
Terrifiant, comme si en donnant le contrôle et la Liberté à son Âme sœur, il renonçait à tout droit ou revendications, juste servir et être en dévotion, s’abandonnant à la persversité de sa Dulcinée.
When I read the title, I thought you meant the topic being first brought up by her, not him. In your example, he had already made hints at it. What happens to many men is she immediately rejects the idea, but what many “wannabees” don’t know is it may take a long time for this idea to be digested by her. Some wives take years to revisit the topic, but be assured, she is thinking about it as she does everything else you tell her!
Over at Our Hot Wives (OHW) this is a well explored topic, if only for its novelty. Men seem to be the majority initiators of this. From the many threads posted there, it appears that when women suggest this on their own, they have often already initiated some extra marital adventures, or at least awash with offers. Not scientific, but none the less a trend I have observed in that forum.
This forum approaches cuckolding as the result of mostly male initiated FLR. This path is but one of many ways to end up into cuckolding, and based on this unique pathway, one that can be safely called the more natural evolution. Not inevitable, but an easier transition from the vanilla world.
You have busy with the cuckolding topic, Emma. I think it’s time for you to write the book!
I really think that the potential submissive and cuckold who WANTS to be a good servant and enjoy watching his wife with a “real man ” needs an intelligent girl to lead him to that goal.
That girl should know what her submissive really desire, and with these chastity techniques, SPH, tease and denial, etc she will take him to the subspace that he really searches and be able to accept his true desires:
To be put on his knees and clean up her wife with love after she has had a good time with another man.
Thank you.
“…the potential submissive and cuckold who WANTS …”
The key word is “WANTS”. If he wants, then consent is given, in which case, knock yourselves out and have a great time.
If he doesn’t want to, but he is coerced, then it’s deception. Where there is deception there can be no trust.
Subhubphx: Do you really think there are couples who practice cuckolding, spanking, erotic humiliation or any other kind of fetishes against the sub will?
Chastity, SPH, etc are just a game to help the sub have what he really wants.
Can you imagine a couple in which the husband is treated as a slave against his will? I don’t think that even exist.
It’s necessary to understand that cuckolding works for some people and not for others.
You may support any other ways of submission which are not OK for others.
Thanks.
I’m sure there are, and I’m sure that it is a very small number, but that isn’t the point. If it is what he really wants, then, of course, have at it and live your best life. But that’s not what was said. The husband DIDN’T want it, and the advice was how to get him to want it. In such a scenario, it is entirely possible, even likely, that the husband will succumb out of fear of losing her, say he wants it, when he doesn’t. Then what?
I have zero problems with cuckolding or any other mutually agreed-upon kinks. It’s not my place to judge, and I never do. I eagerly support relationships where consent exists and mutual desires are met. But some of the overly generalized things that are said are not that and are dangerous.
I can tell you that marriages with spanking do exist. We have been married almost 44 years and were together 4 years before that. From almost the beginning she has used spankings to make sure I understand and follow the rules. Rules I agreed to, so I have no problem when I am told to bare my bottom and get across her knees.
Felicia … I can also tell you that at least marriages exist with spanking exist. yours and ours. Clearly there are many more. How many? Who really knows, but I believe it’s way more than people are willing to consider or admit.
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Certaines femmes ont besoin de contrôle et de confiance en elle.
Elles recherchent en partenariat de vie un homme avec une intelligence émotionnelle profonde et authentique, une âme sœur. Elles prennent tout leurs temps pour le trouver, elles ne recherchent pas un Taureau ou un petit Ami, mais plutôt celui qui en dehors du Sexe répondra au besoin vital de toute femmes, l’intimité émotionnelle. Un homme intelligent, cultivé, presque féminin dans son aisance avec son énergie féminine, les attirera, les comprendrera, acceptera leurs règles, leurs Leadership, elles proposeront de contrôler la sexualité de leur potentiel futur Mari, pour palier à cette tendance qu’on les hommes à ce masturber devant du Porno, ce qui les isoles, les coupes de leurs relations de Couple. On imagine une femme peut confiante en elle, ayant vécu des expériences de tromperie dans son enfance avec ses parents et puis personnellement dans leurs découvertes de l’amour et de la sexualité. En recherchant des solutions, elles ont découvert, qu’il était possible d’avoir les deux, l’Amour authentique avec attachement émotionnelle et le Sexe débridé sans engagement émotionnelle, juste un esprit léger et Libertin qui chuchote à leurs oreilles, amuse toi, répond à tes besoins physique. Elles reprennent confiance en elle dans ses relations secrètes, sans leurs compagnons de Vie du moment à leurs côtés. Et si je pouvais conjuguer les deux, en Total transparence, pour tout les protagonistes ? Elles découvrent que la Chasteté et le Déni d’orgasmes, une fois accepté par leurs compagnons, dès que celui-ci sera engagé et excité dans cette dynamique, avec elles aux commandes de ce contrôle de leurs vies intimes et sexuelle peut déboucher sur une acceptation du Leadership de leurs potentiels futurs épouses. C’est comme une dissociation des sentiments amoureux sérieux et durables, émotionnelles Vital pour toutes femmes et l’aspect plus léger d’un côté Libertine, Libre, desinhibée d’une Sexualité animale débridée et faites de pulsions irrépressible ou la femme se sent confiante et Soumise, ingénue, sauvage, satisfaite, sans limite dans l’exploration de ses envies profonde et purement physique, répondant à un besoin d’être une Déesse du Sexe et de l’Amour !
Et si je pouvais avoir le beurre, l’argent du beurre et la crémière avec ?
Elles découvrent qu’il est possible,
d’avoir un pouvoir incroyable, Puissant, Gage de Contrôle de sa vie, de Confiance, de Liberté, au delà du Sexe, dans un Amour sans Limite ou ses partenaires Lui font confiance d’après les termes du contrat de vie qu’elle a mis en place des le début de la relation, comme une règle imposée d’office, immuable, une forme d’acceptation de ce qu’elle est au plus profond d’elle même, ses règles, son style d’acceptation de ses besoins d’être vue, d’être le centre de sa propre vie, comme si ce qui aurait pu être vu, comme une expérimentation sociale était sa Vie Réelle, son accomplissement, son œuvre pour vivre et montrer aux autres femmes, qu’il est possible de casser les codes du Patriarcats et d’ouvrir un champs d’amour infinie ou la femme et son partenaire de Vie et un second Partenaire Sexuel pour vivre pleinement une sexualité débridée torride passionné, avec une pointe de soumission avec un homme Dominant extraverti, beau, svelte, athlétique, sur de Lui, qui souhaite profiter de la vie, sans engagement émotionnelle vont pouvoir vivre dans une Polyandrie, nécessaire pour que cette femme puisse nourrir les deux aspects de sa personnalité. D’un côté elle Domine, de l’autre elle se soumet volontairement, consciemment.
Cette découverte d’une autre réalité, c’est une vie de Domination féminine, de relation dirigée avec un Amour intentionnel profond, demandant un abandon de l’intimité émotionnelle sans limites, par une femme en quête d’un bonheur, d’un épanouissement personnel et professionnel dans un contexte où elle a le contrôle, où ils Lui font confiance, s’abandonnent à elle, chacun aura sa part, son tour, dans une equitée et non pas une égalité, l’un aura un Amour Authentique Dominant connectée à deux Âmes Sœurs, sans pression physique de performance, juste un côté cérébral poussé dans ses derniers retranchements, explorant la vulnérabilité, la souffrance, la douleur, la peur de l’abandon, mettant l’homme à Nu, émotionnellement Vu et connecté cérébralement à sa femme aimante, du Sexe sans être du sexe, le maintenir dans un état d’excitation permanent, un état ou le Déni devient extase, sans besoin pour sa Dulcinée de se donner, d’être violée ou pénétrée et l’autre Lui il est tout son contraire, connecté à son corps, sur de Lui, Libre, extraverti, Dominant, Sexuel sans besoin d’être engagé émotionnellement, prêt à tout perdre pour tout recommencer, ne voulant que d’une Vie faites de Liberté, pas d’enfants, pas d’épouse respectable et aimante, non Lui il veut tout, pas de chaînes, juste des corps connectés au plaisir de la chair, sans les contraintes de la vie de couple routinière et monotone, la vie d’Amant Dominant, sans attaches, sans contraintes, Lui va très bien, la Vie de Coucou, Lui va très bien, il n’en changerait pour rien au monde, il se sent puissant, libre, libertin, accepte d’être un Sexe Toy, un Sexe Friends, un petit Ami, sans rien demander de plus.
Translation:
Some women need control and self-confidence.
They seek a man with deep and authentic emotional intelligence, a soul mate, as a life partner. They take their time finding him; they’re not looking for a Taurus or a boyfriend, but rather someone who, beyond sex, will fulfill the vital need of every woman: emotional intimacy. An intelligent, cultured man, almost feminine in his ease with her feminine energy, will attract them, understand them, accept their rules, their leadership. They will offer to control the sexuality of their potential future husband, to overcome the tendency of men to masturbate to porn, which isolates them and cuts them off from their relationships. We imagine a woman lacking self-confidence, having experienced cheating in her childhood with her parents and then personally in their discoveries of love and sexuality. In searching for solutions, they discovered that it was possible to have both, authentic Love with emotional attachment and unbridled Sex without emotional commitment, just a light and Libertine spirit that whispers in their ears, have fun, meet your physical needs. They regain confidence in their secret relationships, without their current Life partners by their side. What if I could combine the two, in Total transparency, for all the protagonists? They discover that Chastity and Denial of orgasms, once accepted by their partners, as soon as they are engaged and excited in this dynamic, with them in control of this control of their intimate and sexual lives can lead to an acceptance of the Leadership of their potential future wives. It’s like a dissociation of serious and lasting romantic feelings, vital for all women, and the lighter aspect of a Libertine, Free, uninhibited side of an unbridled animal Sexuality made of irrepressible impulses where the woman feels confident and submissive, naive, wild, satisfied, without limits in the exploration of her deep and purely physical desires, responding to a need to be a Goddess of Sex and Love!
What if I could have my cake and eat it too? They discover that it is possible to have incredible, powerful power, a guarantee of control over their lives, of confidence, of freedom, beyond sex, in a limitless love where their partners trust them according to the terms of the life contract that they established from the beginning of the relationship, like an automatically imposed, immutable rule, a form of acceptance of what they are deep down, their rules, their style of accepting their needs to be seen, to be the center of their own life, as if what could have been seen, like a social experiment, was their real life, their accomplishment, their work to live and show other women that it is possible to break the codes of patriarchy and open a field of infinite love where the woman and her life partner and a second sexual partner can fully experience unbridled, torrid, passionate sexuality, with a hint of submission with an extroverted, handsome Dominant man. Slender, athletic, self-confident, who wants to enjoy life without emotional commitment, will be able to live in polyandry, necessary for this woman to nurture both aspects of her personality. On the one hand, she dominates, on the other, she submits voluntarily, consciously. This discovery of another reality is a life of feminine Domination, of a relationship directed with a deep intentional Love, requiring an abandonment of emotional intimacy without limits, by a woman in search of happiness, of personal and professional fulfillment in a context where she has control, where they trust Her, abandon themselves to her, each will have their part, their turn, in an equity and not an equality, one will have an Authentic Dominant Love connected to two Soul Mates, without physical pressure of performance, just a cerebral side pushed to its limits, exploring vulnerability, suffering, pain, fear of abandonment, putting the man Naked, emotionally Seen and cerebrally connected to his loving woman, Sex without being sex, keeping him in a state of permanent excitement, a state where Denial becomes ecstasy, without the need for his Dulcinea to give herself, to be raped or penetrated and the other Him is all his opposite, connected to his body, sure of Himself, Free, extroverted, Dominant, Sexual without needing to be emotionally engaged, ready to lose everything to start all over again, wanting only a Life made of Freedom, no children, no respectable and loving wife, no He wants everything, no chains, just bodies connected to the pleasure of the flesh, without the constraints of routine and monotonous couple life, life