Locktober is just around the corner. Are you are going to spend another October wondering what it would be like, or are you going to give it a try? Kev and I are taking a look at Chaster this year. The site was recommended by a reader, we have no affiliation or incentive to refer it but we would love for you to join us as we try it out.
As a woman, male chastity changes your dynamic to “What happens when I get to decide our sexual dynamic?” That little shift in control can be delicious and suddenly an otherwise predictable sexual dynamic turns to something electric and he gets to enjoy letting go. It is amazing how a tiny little lock can bring intimacy and a little chivalry back into your everyday relationship. I’m not the performative kind where he pulls out a chair and expects applause but the way he checks in with me, notices what I want, and finds pleasure in making me feel adored. I want him to feel adored too. The key can be a playful reminder to bring courtship and chivalry back into your relationship.
You’ve heard his objections before, “A month is too long.” “I can’t wear it at work.” “It is uncomfortable to wear when I work out.” Fair enough, babe, but this Locktober we are going to test those excuses out and see just how true the are. If we need to adapt, then do it. Maybe you start with a shorter lock time and plan around work and workouts, or make October about me telling you to lock it up whenever I want and unlocking it before bed. You’re not asking him to ignore his discomfort but asking him to be curious with you. A month gives both of you plenty of time to discover what feels good, change what doesn’t, and learn about each other along the way.
If you try it and decide that it isn’t your thing, then you unlock him at any time and you still get to say you tried it and had an experience together. Maybe he finds that he actually likes surrendering control more than he expected. Maybe you discover that you enjoy taking charge in a way that you never knew. Maybe it does absolutely nothing but create some exciting conversation. All of those things are great reasons to give it a try, not to prove anything, but to find out a little more about each other, and your sexual needs and desires.
This October will probably happen like every other. Work, laundry, bills but this year you have the opportunity to interrupt the routine and turn up your flirting and denial skills with male chastity. I do not need Kev to prove his devotion by being miserable, I want him to enjoy giving me control of his little guy and I want to enjoy the thrill of having that control.
Chaster is a chastity tracking app and they are hosting a Locktober community event from October 1 through November 1. Their website has a tracker which allows you to track and share your lock status. Maybe you have been quietly curious about trying male chastity for years. Maybe your partner mentioned it once and you both laughed, then never brought it up again. Maybe you already enjoy a female led dynamic and want to take it to the next level by adding chastity. Whatever the reason, why not join us for Locktober this year?
So let’s go, remember to post your Chaster link in the comments below or join our shared lock and let me be your keyholder. Whatever you decide to do, I hope you have fun with it. Together!
Emma – are y’all doing anything different this locktober? I know you’d mentioned that Kev doesn’t do well without release past two weeks, is that going to change this year?
We are doing about the same thing as years past and curious to see how things go, I’ll be keeping the teasing up and we still plan to have sex (without release) of course. It’s our annual try to stretch things out a bit rather than just assuming he responds the same (distance, resentment). I think this year we are even better at communication because it has been a focus for us and I’m hopeful we will be able to use our words as difficult emotions come up.
I have a question suprise 😂….. Two ladies I know want to know if there is a counter to locktober a month that the opposite happens and what that might look like …….
Gave me several ideas but what are your thoughts….. ?
Define opposite, where he has sex every day or where the woman is locked?
That itself was the question what would it be ????? Would she be locked and teased or all the sex he wants or what ???? It’s kinda the fun of it what is the opposite???? And still fun and playful
A refreshing break from the cuckolding binge. Thank You. Below is my favorite post on the subject:
My husband found chastity extremely difficult to get used to. His emotions used to begin with polite requests for release, burning resentment, whining to angry outbursts. I was steadfast and firm that he would remain locked till I decide, and the date and time is entirely at my discretion and with no prior notice to him. His mood swings would culminate in crying and begging me on his knees. I used to then cuddle and caress him allowing him to nurse at my large breasts telling him that he must learn to live locked till I decide otherwise. Over time he has learnt that no matter how and what he says or does, I decide.
He knows that I love him and keep him aroused and excited, but his pleasure and desire should be focused upon me.
I am pleased to report that now he has almost (it’s never 100%); reconciled and accepted his situation. He does know that I will always comfort him and often begs me to allow him nurse at my large breasts when he is overwhelmed and close to tears.
I can now release, tease and lock him up without allowing him to come and there is no protest. We are a happy couple, who share chores and there is element of bdsm in our life. However, when it comes to our sexual life, I call the shots. My husband is always kept aroused and anticipating his next release not knowing the frequency, place, time and occasion. It keeps him focused and alert upon me.
Just want to share with readers that we can control our men, without corporal punishment or slavery. However firm resolve is a MUST. A wife must also know how to comfort her man when he is near breaking point.
Love – Asha
Thank you Asha! It really is interesting how acceptance is a phase of chastity, it is deeper than that too. His acceptance of chastity is really an acceptance of you and of female leadership. Chastity is beautiful.
Hello Emma,
safety question about long term chastity. The more i read about the more concerns come to my mind.
The erectile tissues require regular expansion to maintain their elasticity so without proper regular care this could cause server problems like erectile dysfunction.
There are other health concern like infection or nerve damage that can occur even with cages that “fit”.
To be honest I get the impression that long term chastity is considerable risk for the wearer. What are your ideas about this ?
Make sure you select the right sized cage
https://evolvingyourman.com/male-chastity-selecting-the-correct-size-for-your-cock-cage/
Some thoughts on chastity and ED
https://evolvingyourman.com/does-chastity-cause-erectile-dysfunction/
An FAQ which includes some stuff about this
https://evolvingyourman.com/frequently-asked-questions/?include_category=male-chastity-faq
And of course the disclaimer that there’s almost no research about male chastity cages so use your best judgement, remove often for cleaning and inspection especially if any soreness happens. Cage at your own risk.
If i may i found these study here. Yes it is not exactly a long time study of chastiy cages but takes studies from similar situations and their effect into account :
https://academic.oup.com/jsm/article-abstract/23/6/qdag163/8692691
Thanks for sending, this is quite recent. I wish I had access to the full text. If anyone does, I’d love to read it.
I’m one of the 9 people locked by Emma on chaster. She has visited the site once in October, and she ignored my message. As far as I can tell, nobody locked by her has had any contact with her at all.
This is not the right or SAFE way to go about locking people in chastity. In my opinion, she is a careless and dangerous Domme. Avoid.
I think you were looking for something entirely different from this than I offered in the Chaster description and in this blog. I removed you from the Locktober challenger. Have a wonderful day.
Indeed, I was looking for someone who understood their responsibilities and that they have a duty of care.
I’m in the same shared lock, and I honestly don’t know where you got the idea that Emma signed up to be your own personal Domme. Read the listing. She invited us to join her to keep track of our days locked. She didn’t promise you constant contact, replies to messages, or some sort of findom personal keyholding relationship.
Hygiene openings are enabled. Emergency self-unlock is enabled. If this wasn’t what you wanted, you could have left without coming here and calling her “careless and dangerous.”
I have followed Emma for years, and her writing has been a positive influence on my chastity journey with my wife. It was a great way to get started and explore new aspects of sexuality with her.
That doesn’t mean you have to like Emma, but I’m not going to sit here and pretend your whiny little outburst is even slightly reasonable.
Your only eight days into October and if you’re struggling and frustrated, fair. Being frustrated doesn’t give you a pass to act like an arrogant prick toward someone who invited us to join in. Calling yourself a sub while trying to tell her what her role should be and demand her attention looks an awful lot like topping from the bottom. Even if you aren’t really a sub, at least be respectful of other people.
23 days left in locktober. Good luck, I hope it gets better for you from here.
Hello Emma, I just saw your Locktober post and am joining late. Wasn’t already in Chaster but have been locked several times including in 2023 over 13 months with no orgasm.
I’ve been a supporter since the old site and the ping pong posts 🙂 and originally found you searching for Yoga Girl.
Really glad to see how well things are going for you and Kev and the amazing growth and changes you’ve all been through,
Just thought it would be fun to join in on this, I have not “formally” done Locktober so better late than never!
Welcome! Thank you for the kind words.
Better late than never and you may even stretch your lockup into NOvember if you want to go the distance.