A day in the life of
I have been reading your blog for over a year and I really enjoy the thought provoking blogs that you post. Over the past week I've had some time off work and no holiday responsibilities to speak of. The only room I've cleaned this holiday season is our office since the only family interaction for the 2020 holidays is through zoom. God damned covid.
I figured that I would take the time to introduce myself and my husband of just over eight years. We have a wonderful relationship. This is my second marriage, the first didn't go so well and I met my husband shortly after that fell to pieces. The first husband was emotionally abusive and I left when things I became afraid that things would turn physically abusive. I told myself that I wanted a more sensitive guy, someone caring who was capable of connecting with me on a more sensitive level and I wanted to steer away from the abuse. I met a guy who is sensitive, caring, loving and exactly what I want from a partner. As I mentioned we've been married for 8 years and got married after only knowing each other for about 10 months. When you know that you want to spend your life with someone, you just know.
Our sex drives don't really mesh perfectly however. He would prefer sex on the daily while I would be just fine with once a week. I encouraged masturbation to help compensate for the differences and compromised on my end also. I wanted to be close to him but my physical attention turned to expectations of sex on his end which made me feel like I was letting him down. I would sometimes have sex with him despite not being in the mood and that made me take a resentful attitude toward sex in general. We both recognized that our sex went from a 7 or 8 to a 3 or 4 and we discussed it. He thought it was related to physical attraction and wanted to work out and lose weight and the whole nine yards. I told him it was emotional and we tried to sort through the problems our mismatched libidos together.
He is the one that introduced me to your site just over a year ago. There was a blog called chastity manifesto which really got us thinking.
We both thought it sounded like a kinky game to play so we bought one of the devices from ebay. It was new not used, I made sure! It took just over a week to receive it and the night that it came in the mail, I locked him up straightaway. It did bring us together and it was a sexy game to play together. We enjoyed it for a few hours as a sex toy and packed it away.
Nothing really changed, masturbation continued and the emotional disconnection remained. As if you were reading our minds, you posted one about masturbation a week or two later.
This one brought up a conversation about masturbation. Even though I've always been an advocate of his masturbation as a great way to keep him from nagging me about sex, what if we tried your system even if just for a week. So I suggested that he try the cocklock (as we call it). He put it on and handed me the key. I tucked the key into my pocket and we went about our day around the house. After no more than an hour he was complaining and asking for me to remove it. After two or three complaints, I was annoyed and regretted the decision so I dug for the key, pulled it out and stared at it for a moment. I looked over at him and saw a pleading look in his eye. I stared at it, my mind racing and with a smile I tucked it back into my pocket. I told him that I didn't want to hear another complaint about the cock lock, reminding him that it was his idea. He looked at me with confusion and I felt something inside me that was simultaneously satisfying and empowering. Bedtime came and he looked to me before taking a shower, as if to ask if I would unlock him. I laughed and told him to get in the shower. We watched tv together before going to sleep and he fidgeted nearly all night. I almost unlocked him that first night just so we could get some sleep. The next morning I sarcastically asked him how he slept and he let out a muffled grunt looking at the floor. I said, excuse me? You had better change your attitude if you want your cock lock to ever come off. He looked up at me, the dominance was totally out of character for me but it felt amazing. I giggled to myself under my breath. Once again something clicked in me and this was fun.
Through that day he kept bringing it up, he was obsessive about it and it was obnoxious. I told him that I didn't want to hear about it anymore, he wasn't allowed to bring it up unless there was some sort of medical problem with it. To my surprise, he got quiet and I didnt't hear a single complaint. At bedtime, he got into the shower and I didnt hear a peep from him. It was almost like he had accepted it and accepted my role as the keeper of his cock. What a fun role. The more I thought about it, the more it turned me on. I decided to torment him and got my vibrator from the nightstand. He sat upright in bed frustrated and desperately fumbling with his cock lock while I toyed. Honestly, it was more for show to watch his reactions than anything. I didn't cum and I stopped after a few minutes but his obvious discomfort brought a huge smile to my face. Knowing that I could end his discomfort with the twist of my key was empowering in a twisted way.
Over the next two days he was a different guy and true to your words, he was more touchy-feely without the expectation of sex. After all, he wasn't going to have sex or even masturbate unless I decided to unlock him. That key made me feel so powerful in a purely feminine but wicked way. His first lockup lasted for 5 days and the plastic cage started to have a small odor to it. I think the plastic may be difficult to clean so knelt in front of him and with the key in my hand I told him "I love you" as I unlocked him and removed his cock lock.
That was the first of the lockups and since then we go between three and ten days regularly. I am very random and simply lock him up at my every whim. A very unpredictable schedule keeps him on his toes and keeps him from getting expectations. We've also purchased a metal cock lock which is so much easier to keep clean with soap and doesn't get any odors.
Long introduction but thank you for the site, it has most certainly influenced our lives.
Thank you so much for sharing! Yours is a wonderful story that I found to be very relatable. I do have a bunch of questions if you wouldn't mind.
- You mentioned teasing, can you elaborate on the types of teasing that you do? We are always looking for fun and exciting ways to tease Kevin when he is locked up.
- Did this increase or decrease the frequency of PIV sex that the two of you have?
- When unlocked, how often does he masturbate?
- Which metal "cock lock" 🤣 did you purchase?
- Now that you are in a good rhythm with your lockups, how long does it usually take before he enters that state where he is emotionally available and touchy feely. I don't really have a name for it but I should come up with one since we all know exactly what you mean. Lockspace or chastespace maybe.
I also edited your post to include links to the blogs that you referenced. Thank you so much and welcome, I am glad that you are here.
- Teasing is my favorite because it gets me closest to the initial feelings I had when I realized the power that the key gave me. I enjoy giving him strip teases while he is locked, lap dances, cuddling, spooning. I am overtly sexual when he is locked because he can't keep his hands off me. I basically enjoy and all of the things I shy away from when he is unlocked! I also like doing things that make him uncomfortable. Just last night I was playing with his cage and he started dripping from his cage, a common occurrence. I picked up the drip with my finger, stared at it for a moment on my Christmas tree painted fingernails (they are as cute as they sound) and touched it to his lips.
- We have actually increased the frequency of PIV sex but when he gets close to orgasm or I tell him to stop he knows to go put himself right back into his cock lock.
- At this point when he is unlocked, he is to ask for permission before masturbating. I think this makes it more infrequent than he would do otherwise. Usually once or twice per week.
- I attached a picture of the one that he has currently.
- I like lockspace! It usually takes one to two days. He acts normal for the first day, then he acts grumpy for half a day or a day and then he is my perfect angel.
Another thing we like to do is some humiliation. My hubs seems to get a kick out of me calling him small, referring to his penis as my favorite little guy or gentle humiliation. When I allowed him to cum last week, I made a comment about the volume of his cum (lack of) and he seemed to get a kick out of that. Nothing truly hurtful just lighthearted teasing.
“Lockspace” is pretty good. I heard a guy call it “the bees,” which is quite accurate from the man’s perspective. For me, it takes about 4 days to get to that stage.
It does, kind of. Also just a general stirring and rising sensitivity. It makes me crave touch. Just this morning when my wife woke, I massaged her back for 45 minutes. Bees.
@midlife_marty Very interesting. I had no idea.
I keep thinking of other teasing things that I do on a regular basis. When he is in his cock lock I'll lay on the bed either on my back with my legs spread or on my knees with my pussy exposed and beg him to fuck me. Waaaaay out of character for me and it feels very uncomfortable but his response is worth it. Obviously he can't do anything since he is locked, once I can tell that I got him hard I usually just laugh to myself and give him a kiss on the cheek. The roleplay is uncomfortable and out of character most of the time but watching the angst on his face is so beautiful and enjoyable to me.
Teasing is easily the best thing about having your guy locked up. I absolutely love your number two. I love starting sex with him and cutting things off when I am sore, bored, done or otherwise over-it. We've worked hard to separate orgasm from sex and I can tell when he starts struggling to keep that separation. For us, PIV sex is about reinforcing the emotional connection that we have together and bringing us closer. As with your guy, Kevin knows that the words "play time is over" are his instruction to wipe himself off and lock up immediately and without protest. As he clicks the lock shut and hands me the keys, he finishes things off with a heartfelt thank you.