A new beginning
Emma, thank You.
Everyone, please forgive if I seem to ramble.
I’ve been married for 11 years, come Oct 4. Like every marriage we’ve had our ups and downs. For the last two to three years our sex life has suffered.
i want it. She doesn’t.
When we did it, it obviously hurt Her. i didn’t understand why, but didn’t want to hurt her. She said She wanted to please me but i felt either dejected that She, either didn’t actually want me, or that She felt obligated and was just going through the motions. (That is not good sex) i ultimately digressed to self gratification.
We had a child 9+ years ago and the pregnancy and birth really did a number on her stomach. i was never negative about what happened to her stomach.
By Her own volition and a necessary hernia repair , She decided to have a tummy tuck. i was excited for Her and eager to help Her During Her recovery. i found great pleasure in helping Her and even greater self worth for Her appreciation and gratitude. The appreciation She showed me made me feel even more guilty for my self pleasure than i already had. We had tried chastity before but to no success. i introduced it with a solely kinky mindset several years ago
i want to be submissive. But struggle as i am anal retentive and, to be honest, can be a dick. ( i’m working on it)
i had stopped self pleasing for a few days and shared a little of my feelings with Her. i said i wanted my next orgasm to be her’s and fully understood that it wouldn’t be through sex. ( as we knew it then). Because , obviously She is still healing. She was accepting. i brought back up chastity and saw She was a little reluctant but she still accepted. Then HOLLY CRAP i FOUND THIS BLOG and, read many of the post and articles and things seemed to click. i read and shared Painfull in Vagina sex (not the right title, sorry) and several others and She too seemed to have a better mind set.
i’ve been locked ( in our own ways. hopefully to be shared later) since Sept 20 with a release date on our anniversary, Oct 4th.
Thank You again Emma