Divorced wife who wish I’d discovered this first time round

Congratulations!

It seems like you're going to progress.

I'd love to know more.

Have you considered the Honour system to start out with chastity?

It sounds like you're a great match for each other and taking one's time is a good way to progress too. Well done both of you and best wishes for a loving future together

@aries thanks for the congrats! Happy to answer any questions as it may lead to some good advice.

As for chastity and the honour system, part of my intrigue into a chastity cage for him is how amusing men look in them. So I definitely want to get him in a cage and see him blush at the sight of his precious dick locked away and powerless. I know it's a fantasy of his, I just need to be measured with making it a reality. As for the honour system, I think his tendency to jerk off to cfnm when he's home alone makes that unrealistic. Part of my teasing when eventually caging him will be to tell him off for his pathetic wanking habits like a silly little boy.

Hello, thank you very much for your answer.

I understand his reluctance. Chastity is heaven and hell. It causes a lot of distress that is sometimes not easy to cope with. Furthermore, if masturbating is a habit, it will be difficult for him to stop. It is not achieved in a day.

On the other hand, what Emma says is true, a man under chastity never looks at another woman again.

I think he might need to be "forced" to use the device, very slowly and very firmly. He is likely to reveal himself, and you will have to be there to ignore his anger and show him who is really in charge. Finally with patience he will have to accept the rules.

You could try giving him the chastity cage during a CFNM session and to make him wear the device for a few hours, and move forward with firmness and patience.

Thank you.

First! May I say! What a great post. That you are sharing your personal life is beautiful. Thank you! 
I don’t think finding the power of a female led relationships too alluring will be a problem. He has consented to this and has given you the rein’s. He may also not mind you being “nasty”. Many of we men are attracted to a sadistic, cruel or nasty aspect to a relationship dynamic. Just feel him out! He might even be willing and open to domestic discipline. I believe it can be beneficial in many relationships.

I love he is doing the domestics! As well as? You are managing all the finances. This is a HUGE power exchange for men. Pleas do go into the details. That is why we are all here. To learn and grow. Thank you for this!

Do pursue chastity. That you are intrigued by chastity is all you need to know. Don’t let this be an option for him. You are both in a female led relationship.

Chastity really does change a male. It is a profound process. A journey of two people! Go slowly with him. Gain his trust. This method/process is the final piece of the puzzle. No longer can he touch himself, masturbate or orgasm. He will look to you for all of this! You will essentially be his entire source of existence. This may be hard for women to understand but? Men understand this completely. 

Please share more when you can!

That is wonderful you guys were able to find each other.  This is from the male perspective, but i think chastity/orgasm control is the key to a FLR. The chastity device is symbolic and can be a lot of fun. However, what gives Her the real control is tease/denial and orgasm control.

We have been married for over 25 years. This first came up about 3 years ago when i finally had the courage and asked Her to dominate me. It opened up real conversations between us that has made our sex life Amazing!!!  

Early on i made a vow to Her to longer masturbate without permission. That led to the use of chastity cages (that is a longer discussion trying to find the right cage). We commonly have sex without me being allowed to orgasm.  She orgasms whenever and however she pleases.  We also have some other rituals surrounding our FLR that are there to show my devotion to Her. Everyone is different, but i feel orgasm control is key. 

Thank you to you guys (not sure how to tag you!). I've thought about it a lot. I've read a lot about the realities, the difficulties and I get all that. But now I really want to experiment with the awesome excitement and power for me. And I think (know) he wants it. 

As much as I've thought about his predicament; he's the one who introduced me to this, knowing my past, so I think now it's fair if I forge my path and now he needs to be humble in all this. Particularly as we're now officially moving in, in a place my money has bought us.

Hi,

Have you ever considered the option of cuckolding 😅

Thanks

So happy for you and your boyfriend!

I definitely suggest more conversation between you to better understand what he likes and wants to try, and to share with him what you like and want to try.

Glad that you’re already establishing the FLR framework, and that you’re in control financially, and he’s already taking care of the housework. The chastity idea is great, definitely suggest you try it.

My wife is asexual but we have a form of FLR in place. She’s denied me sex for almost 17 years. She controls all of the finances - checking & savings accounts, credit & debit cards, etc. She doesn’t have me on an allowance but she reviews the credit & debit card statements with a fine tooth comb every month. She can do whatever she likes but I have to get pre-approval from her for everything that I do.

About 4 years ago, she commented on my masturbation habits, and asked me what I could do to cut back. I replied that I’d seen men wearing chastity devices for their wives on the Internet, and she suggested I should order a cage like that. She doesn’t want to hold the key, so essentially I’m self-locked. But she’s happy to know that not only do I not have sex with her any more (obviously), but that I’m also prevented from having sex with myself.