Hello from Stephanie
I just jumped in and posted my thoughts without ever telling you about us. Kind of rude of me, please accept my apology.
I will tell you how we got together and that will tell you who we are as people.
I met Dave in a sudden rain storm. I was a senior at Penn State. I was on my way to meet my date and I was looking good to say the least. Walking across campus, out of nowhere, it started to pour. There was a tall geeky looking guy coming toward me a few steps away. He put up his umbrella. I did not have one. He ran up to me and said, “Take this. You need it more than I do.” He handed it to me. I had no idea what to do or say. Finally I said thank you but what are you going to do? He said he was in old jeans and an old shirt and that I was dressed beautifully and my hair was wonderful so I needed it more than he did. I asked him how I would get it back to him. He pulled a pen and a small pad out of his pocket protector and wrote his first name and phone number down and gave it to me. He said to call him when I was done with it and he would pick it up. He turned and left.
My date, who I had been going out with for a couple weeks, was a real jerk that night. We went for burgers and then were supposed to go to a movie but he was such a jerk while we were eating I left him without going to the movies.
The next evening after supper I called Dave to tell him he could have his umbrella back. I asked him what made him think I needed it. He said that I was dressed like I was going somewhere important and it wouldn’t be good if I showed up drenched. I told him I was meeting my date at the diner. He said my date was certainly no gentleman. I asked how he knew that. He told me a gentleman would never make a woman walk alone after dusk to meet him somewhere. If he cared about me he would met me at my door and escort me to where we were going. I thought this fellow really is out of touch with today. I told him what dorm I was in and gave him my number to call when he got there. While I was waiting for him I got to thinking and realized this geek that didn’t know me from Adam and had nothing to gain treated me better than any man I ever dated and he obviously had more respect for women than any man I knew.
He arrived at the dorm and called and I came down with the umbrella. I tried to talk to him a little and he was obviously uncomfortable. He had no idea what to say and he sort of babbled a nervous babble. I asked him if he would like to go for a cup of coffee. He said and I quote, “You want to go with me? In Public?” I insisted and we went for coffee. As we walked I finally got him to relax a little. and tell me a bit about himself but he was still very nervous. We actually had a fun time and spent almost an hour in the coffee shop. He would not let me pay for my coffee and donuts because I was nice enough to spend time with him even if it wasn’t a date. As we were leaving I asked him if I could see him again sometime. He seemed shocked and asked me if I really meant it. Then he would not let me walk back to my dorm in the dark alone. We got to my dorm lobby and talked a few more minutes. Then out of the blue I gave him a kiss on the lips. Just by his reaction I knew. I asked, “Is that your first ever kiss?” He turned red and said, “Yes. Thank you. That was nice.” He was about to leave and I said that this is where you are supposed to ask me if I would like to go out next Saturday. He couldn’t believe I wanted to go out with him. He asked, “where would I take you? What would we do?” I asked him what he liked to do. He thought a second and said I like playing darts. And then he wanted to take it back and said but you probably wouldn’t want to do that. I told him he could teach me how and we made it a date to play darts at a bar he goes to down town.
Saturday night he shows up at my dorm in a coat and tie. I was a little surprised at his attire but he said he felt like he should dress in a manner that showed respect for the woman who was willing to spend an evening with him. I almost cried. No guy had ever said anything like that to me before. He took me to the bar and we got a beer and burger and he showed me how to throw a dart. I actually got to where I could make it stick in the board most of the time. There were guys there that knew him and started to rib him about his suit and how did he find a beauty to go out with him and how much did he have to pay her. He was embarrassed and said something about you don’t talk that way about a woman. I shut them all up when I said, “If you guys were as nice as he is you wouldn’t be here with a bunch of guys on a Saturday night.” We had a second beer and then I suggested we go find a quiet place where we could sit and talk and we could learn more about each other.
We went to the mall between Old Main and town and found a bench. It was cool and I had only worn a light sweater. Dave noticed right away I was chilly and took his coat off and put it around my shoulders. We talked a long time and I very slowly got him to talk like we were just friends and not a nervous boy on his first date. As we were walking back to my dorm I asked him if he liked me. He stammered a bit and finally he said, “You are the first girl that has ever been nice to me. All the other girls make fun of me because I am not cool.” Then he said, “You are so beautiful, and smart, and fun. Why do you want to go out with me?” I told him that I had been with a lot of guys but he is the first one who ever was nice to me. The first one who actually seemed to care about me.”
When we got back to the dorm he asked me if we could go out again and if we did would I pick the place this time. I said, “Let me show you my answer.” I put my arms around him and held him tight against my body and kissed him. I slowly used my lips to open his slightly and gave him a bit of tongue. I felt him start to get an erection and he tried to pull back but I just pressed harder against him. Finally I released him and he was so embarrassed. I said, ‘Don’t worry. That is what is supposed to happen.” I told him I would see him next Saturday and went up to my room.
I knew that night that he was the man I was going to share the rest of my life with. We dated till graduation. He asked me to marry him at my graduation party. We were married a little less than a year later and haven’t looked back.
Sorry this is so long.
What a wonderful story. Congratulations on all of your successes in your marriage you two!
Lovely. Just lovely.
Stephanie, so appreciate you sharing your story. Fantastic relationship with your husband. Obviously you are very attractive and have garnered much male attention through the years. Just curious if you have ever been truly tempted to stray or is your FLR so satisfying that monogamy works perfectly for you? Thanks again for all the insight to your relationship
I admire your mutually good judgment and complementary niceness at that age. I also met a woman I was to marry while we were students at the same university. Lacking your good judgment, we had a few good moments, but probably grew farther apart each day we were married. It ended poorly. I admire also that you've made it work while married. Thank you for sharing this story here.
Thank you for your thoughtful words. No I have never considered straying. Before I met Dave I was promiscuous to say the least. I dated all the cool guys and had sex with several of them. Some of it was good and some was pretty bad. I actually wouldn’t have considered dating a geek like Dave. I am not sure what I was looking for but I am sure it had a lot to do with self-validation as the prettiest most popular girl in town.
After talking to Dave those few minutes that first night when I gave him back his umbrella and then made him go for coffee with me I realized how crappy the “cool” guys treated me. They treated me like the tramp I probably was. Dave treated me like I was a lady. He treated me with respect and curtesy. He wasn’t trying to get in my pants from the first moment he saw me like every other boy.
I got him to take me on that first date when he was so awkward but he defended me when his friends insulted us. We went and talked and he finally loosened up and that night I finally realized what was important in life and a relationship and never wanted anyone else after that.
I had to teach him to make love but he wanted to learn so he could please me in bed. The teaching was rewarding to me and he learned well. He has always put me ahead of himself without being a doormat and he trusts me so much it sometimes scares me that I might let him down. He has always wanted me to lead from the very beginning. In many ways I may be as insecure as he is. Not nearly as confident as I sound in my posts.
I would never risk our relationship by even thinking about being with someone else. I do not buy the old saying “variety is the spice of life.” I can make as much variety as I want with one man, Dave, and he will always give me what I want and need.
Then there are days like this morning that happen every few months that are amazing, exciting and frightening and sad at the same time and that I will never understand. Friday night I knew it was going to happen this morning and there is nothing I can do to change it. I am trying to write about it now and I hope I can post something Sunday. Maybe you or others here will be able to help me understand these episodes Dave has.
I am adding this to her introduction because she did not even begin to tell you who she really is.
Last night our friend, we are calling Jane to keep her anonymous, called at about 10:00. She was almost crying. I only got to hear one side of the call but it turns out her mother, who has cancer, is not looking at weeks but more like days. Jane is the only relative she has. Some of her mother’s friends help but they are elderly and her mother has a part time aide but these last several weeks it has been Jane carrying the load.
Part way through the call Stephie said she could come and stay with her. Stephie said she couldn’t make it better but she could hold her hand and make supper and do laundry and whatever else she needed. Apparently Jane said she couldn’t impose on Stephie like that because Stephie then said, “It is not imposing. It is what friends do.” Jane just said, “Thank you.” and she said it so loud even I could hear it.
I just held Stephie last night, no love making, just holding. We got up early this morning and I got her some breakfast while she packed. She Has enough things to stay for 3 days (through Friday when John can get up after work.) She was in the car and on her way by 6:30 cause it is about a 3 hour drive. She promised to call me at work when she gets there.
She never gave it a second thought. It was just what a friend would do. That is part of why I love her so much.