Hi I'm here looking for advice from both men and women here how to ask very vanilla partner to introduce chastity.
We've been togather nearly 2 years and I love her dearly. But we've never had sex because before we started dating she had to take medication that kills her sex drive and admitted it sucks, even confessed she's deflected, avoided intimacy because of the pressure and expectations in a relationship and is planning to come off this in 1 year.
I'll never make her do anything she doesn't want to do ever as that's just wrong... period.
We don't live togather atm too, skept in the same room ever.
But I have this chastity kink. I feel it will be fun and interesting and I'd like her to try this as there is no sex. But also it expires me, takes away temptations from porn and looking at other women too and feel it will show how serious I am about her too!
Can I ask from the male and female perspective how did you introduce or bring up chastity to convince your partner to try?
Thanks
Please stay away from using the word "convince" because it sounds cringe and problematic. While it may seem to you that you are convincing her, I think your real goal - and correct me if I'm wrong - is to learn about it and decide for herself that this is something that she wants to explore with you. You want her to be as interested and fascinated by it as you are. Based on your comment that you would never want her to do something she doesn't want to do, I'm pretty certain that is accurate.
I think there is a conversation and negotiation that needs to be had about your relationship and your sexual needs. Just as she has emotional needs that must not go unfulfilled, you have sexual and physical needs that cannot go unfulfilled. Ignoring your needs isn't fair to you just as ignoring her needs is not fair to her. Her lack of sexual interest is unique and you've done research into ways to create a sexual and physical connection with her, probably how you ended up here. You can bring male chastity up as a way to embrace intimacy in a way that relives her from obligation for sex. It is about being playful and enjoying each others bodies rather than sexual pressure. She probably feels like there is so much pressure to have sex and doesn't know how to deal with it. (been there!)
Some open and honest conversations about needs. That's my suggestion.